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# Note
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When I wrote my first version of <u>Truth versus Lies</u>
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I had not had access to the written reports (Qb
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and Qc) of Scharlette Holdman and her investigators. Later,
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when I received copies of those reports, I had doubts as to
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whether Scharlette and her investigators had accurately
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recounted what their interviewees had said, and I also
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wondered whether they had manipulated the interviewees in
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order to elicit the kinds of statements that the
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investigators wanted. But I felt I needed to deal with the
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investigators' reports in the book in order to make sure
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that no one would think I was suppressing important
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information. I therefore rewrote <u>Truth versus Lies</u>
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, inserting a good deal of discussion of material
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from the investigators' reports.
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I now wish I had left most of that material out of the book
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altogether, because its reliability is open to so much doubt
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that I consider it worthless.
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In Appendix 10, written in 1998, I outlined some reasons for
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being skeptical about the reports of Scharlette Holdman and
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her investigators. A few years later, Scharlette and my
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friend, the late Joy Richards, were both involved in the
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disposition of my cabin, which had been moved from Montana
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to Sacramento and was then in the custody of the Federal
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Defenders Office. At that time Scharlette told Joy that the
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State of California had claimed the right to take possession
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of the cabin. Actually it was not the State of California
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but the Federal Government that had claimed the cabin, as
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Scharlette should have known. Scharlette never explained
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this error on her part; in fact, she never afterward
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answered any communication from Joy or from me. Needless to
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say, this incident intensified my doubts about Scharlette's
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ability to collect and report accurate information.
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But there is something else that is much more important. At
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several points in <u>Truth versus Lies</u> I
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cited a declaration (Da) that my father's old friend, the
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late Ralph Meister, had signed at the urging of Scharlette
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and her collaborators. Much of the declaration was true, but
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some parts were false, and it was not clear how Ralph could
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have known even the true information contained in the
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declaration. So in July 2005 I sent Ralph a copy of his
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declaration and invited him to comment on it. In response he
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sent me a signed statement (reproduced below) in which he
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repudiated the entire declaration.
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Clearly Scharlette and her collaborators manipulated Ralph
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Meister into signing a declaration that he would never have
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signed if he had been free of improper influence. It
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therefore seems very probable that Scharlette and her people
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similarly manipulated some of the other individuals whom
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they interviewed. Consequently, the reader should disregard
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all information in this book that is attributed to
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Investigator #2 (Scharlette Holdman), Investigator #3 (Gary
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Sowards), Investigator #5 (Charlie Pizarro), or
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Investigator #6 (Susan Garvey). The information to be
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disregarded includes, among other things, all information
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cited from Qb and Qc, since Qc consists entirely of
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information provided by Investigator #2, and most of the
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information in Qb was provided by Investigator #2,
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Investigator #5, Investigator #6, or other investigators
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working for Scharlette Holdman.
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On the other hand, I have no reason to doubt the accuracy of
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the information provided by Investigator #1 (Betsy
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Anderson), Investigator #4 (Jackie Tully) or Investigator #7
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(Nancy Pemberton), none of whom worked closely with
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Schalette.
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I ought to rewrite <u>Truth versus Lies</u> to
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eliminate all dependence on information reported by
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Scharlette Holdman and her collaborators, but for the
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foreseeable future I won't have time to do that. So, for the
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time being the book must remain in its present from, though
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with the foregoing warning to the reader.
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Ted Kaczynski
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May 15, 2007
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## \[Transcription by TJK, 5/16/07\]
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March 5, 2006 Sunday
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Refutation of Declaration
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To Whom it may concern:
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On July 18, 2005, Theodore John Kaczynski asked me in a
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personal correspondence to reconsider a declaration I made
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on February 2, 1997. This document is written in response
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to that request. The information and opinions herein
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represent the truth to the best of my knowledge and correct
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the declaration that while in fact has been signed by me,
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upon re-reading, I now feel strongly misrepresents my
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statements and the true meaning of those statements.
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So much of the declaration is false statements it is
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difficult to separate what is true. Paragraphs 1 through 4
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are true.
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I strongly object to the indiscriminate and inflammatory use
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of the word intellectual which appears 12 times in this
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short statement; true intellectual, intellectual subjects,
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to be an intellectual, intellectual world, intellectual
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image, intellectual thought, intellectual giant, this
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"almost from the day he was born" rubbish, intellectual
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development, intellectual ideals, again intellectual
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development, successful intellectual, intellectual
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investment, intellectual achievement, I propose to strike
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every use of the word, intellectual. In the declaration, it
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is obviously misused and meant to mislead.
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Theodore Kaczynski's mother Wanda wanted her sons to be
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smart just like every mother wants their children to be
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smart and successful in life, to have the things she never
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had, just like every mother who has had an especially
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difficult life and wants to improve herself and provide an
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example for her sons and steer them in the right direction.
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After her sons were older, Wanda went to college and became
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a school teacher. Her sons both pursued a college education.
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Wanda followed a generally accepted method of raising
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intelligent children. In my experience with testing
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children, many many parents wanted to get their child into
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kindergarten or first grade early, as soon as the child
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passed intellect barriers. My wife, Stella, had a
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friendly competitiveness with Wanda since their oldest
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children were born months apart and they compared progress.
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My objection is that the declaration portrays Wanda as an
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extremist, a neurotic who "seemed to have only an
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intellectual (dirty word) investment" in her son, once
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again, rubbish. She was a loving and devoted mother and I
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never meant otherwise.
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In paragraph 7, the first sentence is obviously impossible
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and once again, inflammatory. Also, she was not "obsessed
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with his intellectual development." In the third sentence,
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all mothers record milestones, what is religious about baby
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books?
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Paragraph 8 is another complete fabrication, total out of
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control fabrication. I repeat, the last sentence, "She
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seemed to have only an intellectual investment in Teddy
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John" is pure mean spirited nonsense.
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I totally reject paragraphs 9 and 10. These are not my
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words, they sound like a script from a soap opera on
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television. In fact, considering knowledge I did have of the
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Kaczynski's home life during these years, I could never have
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reasonably made the statements in paragraphs 9 and 10, and
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if I did state anything similar to what was signed, I now
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realize I was being completely biased and unjustly
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judgemental. The words "badly injured", "feared social
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contact", "social deficiencies", "lost control and verbally
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abused", "lied to protect", "intense pressure", are not what
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I remember at all. No one but Teddy John could have known
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exactly how he was feeling, and the last two sentences are
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pure conjecture, more soap opera script. Finally, and most
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importantly, I never once felt that the Kaczynski family
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needed any sort of counseling and I never recommended they
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seek professional help. That fact in itself says more about
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their homelife than all the hypothesizing and colored
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statements in this faulty declaration.
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Paragraph 11 is close to accurate. My wife, Stella Meister
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greatly admired Theodore for the manner in which he lived
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alone in the mountains. She corresponded with him for many
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years and looked up to him as a true aesthete. She more than
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I understood what joy and solace Theodore found living in
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the mountains. "Protection from social deficiencies", Stella
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certainly never ever would have thought that. "Autonomy in
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the absence of other social skills represents salvation."
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What great philosopher thought of that one, it does not
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apply here. Unfortunately, the last sentence of the
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declaration is just too profound.
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In short, I believe that it would be best to refute the
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declaration I signed in its entirety, and in the future
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think twice before I sign a declaration written by someone
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else who may have questionable motives rather than seeking
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the truth. I hereby do exactly that. I, Ralph K. Meister
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refute the entire attached declaration that I signed on
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February 2, 1997.
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Sincerely,
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Ralph K. Meister
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\[signature: Ralph K. Meister\]
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Witness: \[signature: Janice Powell(?)\]
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Witness: \[signature: Amy Incendela\]
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Date: 3/19/06
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# TRUTH versus LIES by Ted Kaczynski\*
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"An odd principle of human psychology, well known and
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exploited. . . holds that even the silliest of lies can win
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credibility by constant repetition."
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--- Stephen Jay Gould \*\*
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\* Copyright 1998 by Theodore John Kaczynski
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\*\* "The Paradox of the Visibly Irrelevant," Natural
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History, Volume 106, Number 11, December 1997/January
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1998, p. 12.
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# Foreword
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Though it's the first part of the book, this foreword is
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the last part to be written. Its purpose is only to tie up
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some loose ends.
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To begin with, while this book contains a great deal of
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autobiographical material, it is not an autobiography. At
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some later time I hope to tell the real story of my life,
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especially of my inner development and the changes in my
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outlook that took place over the decades.
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Before my arrest I never thought there was anything unusual
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about my long-term memory. I knew that I remembered things
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more accurately than my parents or my brother did, but that
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wasn't saying much. Since my arrest, however, several
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members of my defense team have told me that my long-term
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memory is unusually good. (See Appendix 11.) This is their
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opinion; I am not in a position to prove to the reader that
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it is correct. There are a few items in this book for which
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I have relied entirely on memory and which someone who is
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not locked up would be able to check against documentary
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evidence. If anyone should take the trouble to dig up the
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relevant documents, I hope I will prove to have been right
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with regard to most if not all of these items; but, whether
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that turns out to be the case or not, the number of such
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items is too small to provide a secure evaluation of my
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long-term memory.
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However, the point I want to make here is that even if the
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reader doubts the accuracy of my memories or my honesty in
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reporting them, enough of the material in this book is
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supported by documentary evidence and/or corroborating
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testimony to establish that media reports about me have been
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wildly unreliable, and that in its most important aspects my
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account of myself and my family relationships is
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substantially correct.
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As for my use of names, I almost always use the full names
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of persons who have spoken about me to the media. When
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referring to persons who have not spoken to the media I
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usually give names only in abbreviated form.
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Some of the facts and incidents that I recount in this book
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will be embarrassing to the persons concerned. However, I
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assure the reader that my motive has not been to embarrass
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anyone, but to bring out the truth and correct false
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impressions, for which purpose it has sometimes been
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necessary to demonstrate the unreliability of an informant
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or show the factors that may have distorted his reports. If
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I had wanted to embarrass people there are other facts I
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could have related that would have caused a good deal of
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additional embarrassment.
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# CHAPTER XVI
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Every journalist who is not too stupid or too full of
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himself to notice what is going on knows that what he does
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is morally indefensible. ¹
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\- Janet Malcom
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L.M. Singhvi... relates the anecdote of an Eastern European
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journalist who said:"... our newspapers, like those of the
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rest of the world, contain truths, half-truths, and lies.
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The truths are found on the sport pages, the half-truths are
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found in the weather forecasts, and the lies are found in
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everything else." ²
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\- La Jornada
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It must be the very first thing you learn in journalism
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school: Why do research when you can make things up? ³
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\- David Gelernter
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|
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At the end of Chapter I we saw how Serge F. Kovaleski and
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Lorraine Adams of the *Washington Post* lied about my
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"hospital experience" by misquoting my mother's Baby Book.
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The *New York Times*, too, lied in its May 26, 1996 article
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about me. The author of the article, Robert D. McFadden,
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wrote that the Unabomber was described by a witness as
|
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having "reddish-brown hair." ⁴ But the description that the
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FBI obtained from the witness in question stated that the
|
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Unabomber had reddish-*blond* hair. ⁵ So why did McFadden
|
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make it reddish-*brown*? Obviously because he found it
|
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inconvenient that I didn't fit the description of the
|
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Unabomber. Since the fact that the Unabomber had
|
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reddish-blond hair had been massively publicized, it is
|
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scarcely conceivable that McFadden's error could have been
|
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inadvertent.
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|
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In the very next paragraph McFadden makes another statement
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that has the earmarks of a conscious lie. He states that
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when the Unabomber was spotted by the witness he "panicked"
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and "fled." ⁴ There was no basis for this statement. The
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Unabomber's coolness in leaving the scene had already been
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publicized. ⁶
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Many journalists do not hesitate to lie to individuals in
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order to get material for stories. As an example I quote the
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following from a letter from Sherri Wood, librarian at
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Lincoln, Montana:
|
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|
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"\[O\]ne day a reporter came in \[to the library\] from the
|
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Sacramento Bee and asked for an interview and we told him
|
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no. Then he asked us for just some general information about
|
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you and the arrest, and the town, just for background
|
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information. He said that it would be off the record. I said
|
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ok, and went to file books as we talked. After a while I
|
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heard Mary ask him why he was writing if this was all off
|
||||
record and then he said he had changed his mind and decided
|
||||
to put it on record. We both immediately shut up and then
|
||||
asked him to leave, after we told him what a rat we thought
|
||||
he was. He did then go on to print an article and made it
|
||||
sound like I gave him an interview voluntarily. ... I do not
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trust the press ... ." ⁷
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|
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Unmistakably conscious lies about concrete facts are
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relatively infrequent in the media. False statements are
|
||||
extremely common, but it is clear that many of them are
|
||||
simply the result of negligence, and it is often impossible
|
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to distinguish the intentional falsehoods from the negligent
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ones.
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|
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In the May 26, 1996 *New York Times* articles about me, I
|
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counted at least 42 clear errors of fact, in addition to the
|
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two intentional lies that we cited earlier. To give just a
|
||||
few examples: The *Times* states that my father "loved to go
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hunting." ⁸ To my knowledge he hunted once, and only once,
|
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in his life. The *Times* states that my mother was "familiar
|
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with science." ⁸ In reality she doesn't know as much science
|
||||
as the average fifth-grader. The *Times* states that the car
|
||||
I bought in 1967 was used. ⁹ In fact, it was new. The
|
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*Times* has my father's employment history badly garbled .
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¹⁰ Etc., etc., etc.
|
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|
||||
Other national news sources didn't do much better than the
|
||||
*New York Times*. Thus *Time Magazine* wrote that I had "an
|
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outhouse out back" and a root cellar below my cabin, that I
|
||||
had volumes of Thackeray, that I sometimes stayed inside for
|
||||
weeks at a stretch ¹¹ (all of which are false). . . the
|
||||
errors just go on and on and on.
|
||||
|
||||
The errors we've just been citing are probably inadvertent
|
||||
ones that resulted merely from excessively sloppy reporting,
|
||||
since it isn't clear what motive the media would have for
|
||||
lying in these cases. But when false statements are made
|
||||
that tend to incriminate me, or tend to make me seem
|
||||
repellent or despicable, it is often difficult to tell
|
||||
whether the falsehoods are accidental or malicious. For
|
||||
example, when *Time* reported that I had "bomb manuals" in
|
||||
my cabin ¹² (which is false), were they lying purposely or
|
||||
were they just relaying false information that they had
|
||||
received from some FBI agent? When *Newsweek* wrote," Ted
|
||||
continued to take handouts from his brother - a few thousand
|
||||
dollars in money orders over the years," was the falsehood
|
||||
intentional or only the result of sloppiness in collecting
|
||||
facts? ¹³
|
||||
|
||||
Thus far I have been discussing only false assertions made
|
||||
by the media themselves concerning concrete factual matters.
|
||||
But there also have been falsehoods of other types. One of
|
||||
these types I call the "irresponsible quote." A newspaper or
|
||||
magazine protects itself from the accusation of falsehood by
|
||||
means of little phases like " Jones said..." or "according
|
||||
to Smith... ." For example, the *New York Times* wrote:
|
||||
"Butch Gehring . . . said he once heard \[Ted\] complain
|
||||
about his costs rising to $300 from $200 a year," ¹⁴ which
|
||||
is false. The *Times* also quoted a former neighbor of mine,
|
||||
\[Le\] Roy Weinberg, to the effect that as a kid I "didn't
|
||||
play," ¹⁵ a statement so implausible on its face that it
|
||||
should have aroused any reporter's suspicion. What is much
|
||||
more serious, the *Times* quoted irresponsible statements
|
||||
that tended to incriminate me: "Stacie Frederickson, a
|
||||
Greyhound agent in Butte, remembered ticketing Mr.
|
||||
Kaczynski - 'a geeky-looking guy' - about 15 times on
|
||||
intercity buses south to Salt Lake City or west to the
|
||||
Coast." ¹⁶ Frederickson's statement is false. "At a Burger
|
||||
King restaurant next to the bus terminal in Sacramento, Mike
|
||||
Singh, the manager, remembered \[Ted\]. He was carrying what
|
||||
appeared to be an armful of books. He had a sandwich and a
|
||||
cup of coffee and left. Mr. Kaczynski took a room at the
|
||||
Royal Hotel, next door to the bus station. A desk clerk,
|
||||
Frank Hensley, remembered him because he stayed there
|
||||
periodically in recent years, usually in spring or summer,
|
||||
for three days to a week at a time. He used the name Conrad
|
||||
to sign the registration book... ." ¹⁷ Singh's and Hensley's
|
||||
statements also are false. If Frederickson, Singh, and
|
||||
Hensley didn't simply invent their stories, then they have
|
||||
confused me with someone else. In earlier chapters we
|
||||
discussed many other false statements about me that have
|
||||
been quoted in the *New York Times* or other national news
|
||||
sources, and - it must be emphasized - there have been so
|
||||
many others (even in the *New York Times* alone) that it
|
||||
would be impractical for me to try to mention all of them. I
|
||||
haven't even tried to count them.
|
||||
|
||||
As experienced journalists, the *New York Times's* reporters
|
||||
and staff writers are well aware that, especially in highly
|
||||
publicized cases, there are a great many people who will
|
||||
make statements that are false or grossly distorted, either
|
||||
because they are stupid, or because they want to see their
|
||||
names in the paper, or for some other reason. Yet the *New
|
||||
York Times* and other national and local periodicals have
|
||||
quoted the uncorroborated words of any jerk who has taken it
|
||||
into his head to talk to the media, and they have done so
|
||||
without warning their readers that the quoted material is
|
||||
highly unreliable.
|
||||
|
||||
Among the large numbers of unverified statements that are
|
||||
available, do the media select for quotation those that give
|
||||
a story the slant that the editors want? They probably do,
|
||||
though it is difficult to prove it. It is worth noting that
|
||||
almost all of the false statements that have been published
|
||||
about me in periodicals of national circulation have been
|
||||
negative or neutral; only a rare few have been positive.
|
||||
|
||||
There is yet another way in which the media purvey
|
||||
falsehood, and in this case there cannot be the slightest
|
||||
doubt that intentional slanting is involved. Journalists
|
||||
will make negative statements about an individual that are
|
||||
so vague that there is no way they can ever be definitely
|
||||
proved or disproved, yet by repeating such statements over
|
||||
and over again throughout an article they can give their
|
||||
readers a decidedly false impression of the individual in
|
||||
question.
|
||||
|
||||
Robert D. McFadden's article in the *New York Times*
|
||||
provides an excellent example of this technique. The article
|
||||
appears under the headline," The Tortured Genius of Theodore
|
||||
Kaczynski." ¹⁸ In reality I am neither tortured nor a
|
||||
genius. McFadden proceeds to assert that in my Montana
|
||||
cabin I "watched dying embers flicker visions of a wretched
|
||||
humanity." ¹⁸ I did nothing of the kind. The next paragraph
|
||||
states that mathematics was the "sole passion of \[my\]
|
||||
life" and that it was "suddenly dead ." ¹⁸ Actually,
|
||||
mathematics was never the sole passion of my life, and my
|
||||
interest in it declined not suddenly but gradually, over a
|
||||
period of years. McFadden then describes my undergraduate
|
||||
days at Harvard as "humiliating." ¹⁸ They had their bad
|
||||
points, certainly, but I never felt that they were
|
||||
humiliating. He describes the lines at the corners of my
|
||||
mouth as "obstinate," ¹⁸ but there is no rational evidence
|
||||
that they have anything to do with obstinacy. In his fifth
|
||||
paragraph, McFadden speaks of my supposed "instabilities",
|
||||
"obsessions," and "rigidities" ¹⁸ without presenting any
|
||||
rational evidence that I was unstable, obsessed, or rigid,
|
||||
and he goes on to say that I "deteriorated" until my family
|
||||
"did not recognize" me, ¹⁸ which is sheer fantasy. The
|
||||
article rambles along endlessly in the same vein.
|
||||
|
||||
Most of these assertions are so indefinite that it would be
|
||||
virtually impossible ever to prove them false. How would one
|
||||
prove that one has no "instabilities" or that one has not
|
||||
"deteriorated?" The words are just too vague. It might be
|
||||
possible to disprove a few of the assertions if one wanted
|
||||
to take the trouble; for example, I might be able to
|
||||
document that fact that mathematics was never the sole
|
||||
passion of my life. But I would have to devote several pages
|
||||
to this seemingly trivial point, and in doing so I would
|
||||
look ridiculous because I would appear to be making a
|
||||
mountain out of a molehill. I would look even more
|
||||
ridiculous if I tried to prove that I am not "tortured",
|
||||
since the word was never meant to be taken literally anyway;
|
||||
it was used only for its emotional impact. Yet emotional
|
||||
language and indefinite assertions of the kind used by
|
||||
McFadden, when repeated over and over, can quite
|
||||
successfully portray an individual as a repellent sicko.
|
||||
|
||||
Needless to say, the *New York Times* is not the only
|
||||
periodical that uses this technique. The method is applied
|
||||
quite generally in the news media.
|
||||
|
||||
Before my arrest - that is, before I had the opportunity to
|
||||
compare what I know to be the truth with what the media say
|
||||
\- if someone had told me how dishonest the media are I
|
||||
would never have believed it. Since my arrest I have talked
|
||||
with a number of lawyers, investigators, jail personnel, and
|
||||
law enforcement officers who in their daily work have seen
|
||||
the difference between what they have personally experienced
|
||||
and what the media report, and they have all told me that
|
||||
most journalists have little regard for truth and little
|
||||
hesitation about embroidering their stories. As one very
|
||||
able lawyer expressed it to me, "These people are animals -
|
||||
animals!" See Appendix 7.
|
||||
|
||||
Why do journalists stretch the truth as far as they do? For
|
||||
one thing, the news media are supported mainly by
|
||||
advertising, and to sell advertising space they need a large
|
||||
audience. They know that the public is more attracted by a
|
||||
dramatic story that portrays someone as a hero or a villain
|
||||
than by a sober, careful, balanced account.
|
||||
|
||||
For another thing, the media are controlled by people who
|
||||
are committed to the system because it is from their
|
||||
position in the system that they get their power and their
|
||||
status. Consequently, the media constitute a kind of
|
||||
cheerieading squad for the system and its values.
|
||||
Journalists who don't cooperate with the system's propaganda
|
||||
line are not hired by major news outlets and that is why the
|
||||
news media uniformly support the basic values of the system.
|
||||
It is also why they portray as a viilain or a sicko anyone
|
||||
who appears to be a threat to those values.
|
||||
|
||||
In my case, the FBI quickly succeeded in convincing the
|
||||
media (through dishonest tactics that we will discuss later)
|
||||
that I was probably the Unabomber. Journalists must have
|
||||
realized that my identification as the Unabomber was
|
||||
uncertain, since the FBI is known to have railroaded
|
||||
innocent people in the past, but they knew that they could
|
||||
attract a bigger audience by jumping on the bandwagon and
|
||||
trumpeting to the world the capture of the supposed
|
||||
Unabomber than by publishing a sober account that retained
|
||||
rational skepticism. ¹⁹ Moreover, the Unabomber had attacked
|
||||
the basic values of the system in a strikingly effective
|
||||
way; hence, once they had accepted the assumption that I was
|
||||
the Unabomber, the media had to maintain the propaganda line
|
||||
by depicting me as a repellent sicko.
|
||||
|
||||
During the first months following my arrest I repeatedly
|
||||
asked my lawyers about the possibility of suing some of
|
||||
these people for libel, but they told me that it probably
|
||||
wouldn't be worth the trouble, because the very volume of
|
||||
publicity about me had made me into a "public figure," and
|
||||
the libel laws concerning "public figures" made it very
|
||||
difficult for any such person to win a libel suit.
|
||||
|
||||
The statement I made earlier, that the major news media
|
||||
uniformly support the basic values of the system, may be
|
||||
questioned by some readers who notice that it is not
|
||||
uncommon for the media to criticize various aspects of the
|
||||
system. But there is a difference between questioning
|
||||
*aspects* and questioning *basic values* of the system. The
|
||||
media criticize, for example, corruption, police brutality,
|
||||
and racism whenever they appear in the system, but in doing
|
||||
so they are not criticizing the system itself or its basic
|
||||
values, they are criticizing diseases of the system.
|
||||
Corruption, police brutality, and racism are all bad for the
|
||||
system, and by criticizing them the media are helping to
|
||||
strengthen the system.
|
||||
|
||||
On infrequent occasions the major news media do allow
|
||||
*cautious* criticism of some of the system's basic values.
|
||||
²⁰ But such criticism is expressed in more-or-less abstract
|
||||
terms that keep it remote from the sphere of practical
|
||||
action. The attitude is always, "Isn't it too bad that
|
||||
such-and-such; but after all we just have to accept it and
|
||||
live with it as best we can." No one is ever encouraged to
|
||||
do anything that might actually upset the workings of the
|
||||
system.
|
||||
|
||||
"' If you mean to tell me,' said an editor to me, 'that
|
||||
*Esquire* tries to have articles on important issues and
|
||||
treats them in such a way that nothing can come of it - who
|
||||
can deny it? '" ²¹ - Paul Goodman, *Growing up Absurd*
|
||||
|
||||
Criticisms of the system that appear in the media constitute
|
||||
one of the safety valves that help to relieve the average
|
||||
man's resentment; and moreover they provide the illusion of
|
||||
independent-minded journalism. Thus they help to deaden the
|
||||
impulse to real, substantial, fundamental dissent.
|
||||
|
||||
\*\*\*\*\*\*
|
||||
|
||||
After my arrest on April 3, 1996, FBI agents and officials
|
||||
began disclosing to the media massive amounts of information
|
||||
concerning the alleged evidence found in my cabin, and other
|
||||
supposed evidence against me - though much of the
|
||||
"information" was in fact false. Even if all of the
|
||||
information had been true, its release would have been
|
||||
unethical and contrary to regulations. The government itself
|
||||
admitted this:
|
||||
|
||||
"The United States acknowledges that government personnel
|
||||
have disclosed to members of the press certain details of
|
||||
the search of Kaczynski's cabin and of the government's
|
||||
investigation. Although there is no evidence that these
|
||||
disclosures were made with the intent to influence legal
|
||||
proceedings \[ha!\], such disclosures were improper and
|
||||
contrary to Department of Justice policy." ²²
|
||||
|
||||
FBI Director Louis Freeh and Attorney General Janet Reno
|
||||
must have known about the massive disclosures to the press
|
||||
within a day or so after they began. In fact, Freeh issued
|
||||
the following directive on April 4:
|
||||
|
||||
"To protect the integrity of this investigation and
|
||||
prosecution, I am reminding you of our 'bright line' policy,
|
||||
and there is to be no discussion with the media regarding
|
||||
any aspect of this case. It is not only distressing to both
|
||||
me and the Attorney General, but to every person who has
|
||||
worked so tirelessly on this matter over the last several
|
||||
years, to read and hear investigative information in the
|
||||
press. It is destructive to provide that information and
|
||||
must not continue to happen \[sic\]." ²³
|
||||
|
||||
But the disclosures continued for several days. There cannot
|
||||
be the slightest doubt that Louis Freeh and Janet Reno could
|
||||
have stopped most of the disclosures immediately if they had
|
||||
wanted to, because this was not just a matter of a dribble
|
||||
of information leaking out covertly; the disclosures were on
|
||||
a massive scale. ²⁴ The lawyer who was then representing me,
|
||||
Michael Donahoe, told me that FBI agents involved in the
|
||||
search were openly taking items of alleged evidence from the
|
||||
cabin, showing them to representatives of the media, and
|
||||
explaining (not necessarily truthfully) what they were. ²⁵
|
||||
Yet Freeh and Reno allowed the disclosures to go on until,
|
||||
on April 17, Freeh issued a statement:
|
||||
|
||||
"I ordered an investigation early this month of whether any
|
||||
FBI employees have leaked investigative information from the
|
||||
UNABOM case. ... Unauthorized disclosure of investigative
|
||||
information or other confidential material will lead to
|
||||
immediate firing from the FBI and possible prosecution." ²⁶
|
||||
|
||||
By that time, my attorney Michael Donahoe had already filed
|
||||
a motion to dismiss the charges against me on the grounds
|
||||
that the publicity had irrevocably destroyed my right to a
|
||||
fair trial. ²⁷ In denying this motion, Judge Charles C.
|
||||
Lovell relied in part on the statement of Louis Freeh that
|
||||
we have just quoted:
|
||||
|
||||
"Judge Freeh \[Lovell wrote\] has ordered an investigation,
|
||||
and he has promised dismissals and prosecution for any
|
||||
government officials releasing confidential information." ²⁸
|
||||
|
||||
On August 29, 1996, my attorney Quin Denvir wrote to Robert
|
||||
Cleary, Special Attorney to the U.S. Attorney General and
|
||||
chief prosecutor in my case:
|
||||
|
||||
"Dear Mr. Cleary:
|
||||
|
||||
"On April 4, 1996 \[sic; should be April 17\], FBI Director
|
||||
Louis J. Freeh issued a directive stating, *inter al*, that
|
||||
the FBI's Office of Professional Responsibility was
|
||||
conducting an investigation into the leakage of information
|
||||
regarding the Unabom case and that 'unauthorized disclosure
|
||||
of investigative information or other confidential
|
||||
information will lead to immediate firing from the FBI and
|
||||
possible prosecution.' In denying Mr. Kaczynski's Montana
|
||||
motion regarding the leakage of information, the district
|
||||
court relied upon that statement of Director Freeh. (RT, p.
|
||||
13.) I am writing to inquire as to whether the FBI Office of
|
||||
Professional Responsibility has conducted its investigation
|
||||
in this regard and whether any FBI personnel have been fired
|
||||
or otherwise disciplined as a result of that investigation."
|
||||
²⁹
|
||||
|
||||
Mr. Denvir has told me that as of mid-October, 1997, he has
|
||||
received no answer to this letter.
|
||||
|
||||
It's obvious that Janet Reno and Louis Freeh never seriously
|
||||
intended to prevent the unauthorized disclosures or punish
|
||||
the agents responsible for them. The disclosures were made
|
||||
with the acquiescence (if not the covert encouragement) of
|
||||
Reno and Freeh, because the Justice Department knew that the
|
||||
warrant for the search of my cabin had been issued without
|
||||
probable cause. By trying me in the media and creating a
|
||||
public presumption of my guilt, they hoped to make it
|
||||
difficult for a judge to suppress the alleged evidence
|
||||
seized from my cabin on the grounds that the warrant was
|
||||
invalid.
|
||||
|
||||
\*\*\*\*\*\*
|
||||
|
||||
As long as we are on the subject of the FBI, I can't resist
|
||||
passing along an anecdote that was recounted to me by a
|
||||
police officer whom I believe to be intelligent and
|
||||
reliable, and who told me he was an eyewitness of the
|
||||
events.
|
||||
|
||||
A local police agency located a drug dealer in whom the FBI
|
||||
was particularly interested and passed the information on to
|
||||
the Feds. The FBI and the local agency then set up a
|
||||
stake-out around the hotel where the suspect was living and
|
||||
waited for him to come out. After they'd waited for several
|
||||
hours, one of the FBI cars pulled away and drove off. Then
|
||||
another FBI car left and then another. The local police
|
||||
lieutenant who was in charge of the stake-out wondered what
|
||||
was happening, so he took off after the FBI cars, pulled one
|
||||
of them over, and asked what was going on. The FBI agents
|
||||
answered that it was five o'clock and they weren't allowed
|
||||
to work overtime without permission from their supervisor.
|
||||
So they had just taken off without bothering to notify the
|
||||
local police involved in the stake-out.
|
||||
|
||||
I am not, of course, in a position to vouch for the accuracy
|
||||
of this account, but I find it easy to believe in view of
|
||||
other evidence I've seen of the incompetence of the FBI.
|
||||
I'm told that most local police forces that have worked with
|
||||
the Feds are contemptuous of them. It seems that the FBI is
|
||||
good at just one thing, namely, propaganda. It has succeeded
|
||||
in creating an image of itself as the world's most effective
|
||||
law-enforcement organization, and, considering the
|
||||
difference between the image and the reality, this
|
||||
constitutes a truly brilliant demonstration of the
|
||||
propagandist's art.
|
||||
|
||||
## NOTES TO CHAPTER XVI
|
||||
|
||||
1. Janet Malcolm, *The Journalist and the Murderer*, Vintage
|
||||
Books, Random House, 1990, p. 3.
|
||||
|
||||
2. *La Jornada Semanal*, May 18, 1997, p. 7. *La Jornada
|
||||
Semanal* is a supplement inserted in the Mexican newspaper
|
||||
*La Jornada*. The passage quoted has, of course, been
|
||||
translated from Spanish.
|
||||
|
||||
3. David Gelernter, *Drawing Life: Surviving the Unabomber*,
|
||||
The Free Press, 1997, p. 51.
|
||||
|
||||
4. (Ha) *NY Times Nat.*, May 26, 1996, p. 24, column 4.
|
||||
|
||||
5. (Pd) Application and Affidavit for Search Warrant, p. 80,
|
||||
paragraph 154.
|
||||
|
||||
6. For example (Hf) *Newsweek*, April 15, 1996, p. 40: "The
|
||||
woman banged on the window, motioning the man away. He
|
||||
calmly picked up the bag and left." Media reports of the
|
||||
Unabomber's calmness are supported by the FBI's reports of
|
||||
its interviews with the witness. (Nc) Police-FBI Interview
|
||||
of Tammara Fluehe, February 22, 1987, p. 5: "FLUEHE stated
|
||||
that the individual never seemed in a hurry, and walked at a
|
||||
normal pace." (Na) FBI 302 number 12, November 18, 1993, p.
|
||||
1:"FLUEHE said that when she yelled to GAY the individual
|
||||
placing the device on the ground looked up at her... he then
|
||||
slowly stood up, turned around and walked toward 300 East
|
||||
Street." (Nd) Memorandum of Interview with Tammara Dawn
|
||||
Fluehe on December 16, 1993:
|
||||
|
||||
"FLUEHE stated the individual who placed the device ...
|
||||
knew he was being observed, but did not appear to be
|
||||
startled or afraid and the individual slowly turned around
|
||||
and walked away. ... This individual seemed very confident
|
||||
and in no hurry when he left the area."
|
||||
|
||||
I am not especially trying to defend the Unabomber's
|
||||
courage. I am concerned only to show that McFadden is a
|
||||
liar.
|
||||
|
||||
7. (Cb) FL Supplementary Item #14, letter from Sherri Wood
|
||||
to me, February 2, 1998, p. 1. Early in April of 1998 I
|
||||
asked Jeff Severson, a legal assistant on my defense team,
|
||||
to call Sherri Wood and ask her if it would be alright for
|
||||
me to use the quotation to which this footnote refers. She
|
||||
gave her permission orally. Later she sent Mr. Severson a
|
||||
letter in which she slightly corrected what she had written
|
||||
in FL Supplementary Item #14. Instead of saying that the
|
||||
reporter had "changed his mind and decided to put it on
|
||||
record," she wrote:" He stated he had decided that it should
|
||||
be up to his boss if what we were saying should be off the
|
||||
record or not." See (Cb) FL Supplementary Item #15, letter
|
||||
from Sherri Wood to Jeff Severson, April 8, 1998. There are
|
||||
no other discrepancies between these two letters of Sherri
|
||||
Wood.
|
||||
|
||||
8. (Ha) *NY Times Nat.*, May 26, 1996, p. 22, column 3.
|
||||
|
||||
9. (Ha) *NY Times Nat.*, May 26, 1996, p. 23, column 3.
|
||||
|
||||
10. Same, p. 23, column 4. The truth is that my father had
|
||||
been working for a Chicago company called Cushion-Pak. In or
|
||||
around 1966, Cushion-Pak sent him to Lisbon, Iowa to start a
|
||||
small branch that was called Iowa Cushion-Pak. Iowa Cushion-
|
||||
Pak was doing well when the parent company called my father
|
||||
back to Chicago. After working for a few years in Chicago
|
||||
for Cushion-Pak, my father resigned and took a job with Foam
|
||||
Cutting Engineers because it was much closer to his house in
|
||||
Lombard. The owners of Foam Cutting Engineers were not the
|
||||
same as those of Cushion-Pak and Iowa Cushion-Pak. In fact,
|
||||
Foam Cutting Engineers and Cushion-Pak were competitors.
|
||||
|
||||
11. (Hg) *Time*, April 15, 1996, pp. 40, 41. I never had an
|
||||
outhouse. I did have a root cellar, but it was not
|
||||
underneath my cabin; it was more than a hundred feet away. I
|
||||
had no volume of Thackeray. I could not have stayed indoors
|
||||
for weeks at a stretch even if I had wanted to, because I
|
||||
had to fetch water, cut firewood, tend my garden, gather
|
||||
wild greens, hunt for meat and so forth.
|
||||
|
||||
12. (Hg) *Time*, April 15, 1996, p. 41 wrote that my home
|
||||
had "two walls filled floor to ceiling with Shakespeare and
|
||||
Thackeray and bomb manuals." In reality, no wall of my cabin
|
||||
had more than a single shelf of books; I had perhaps two or
|
||||
three volumes of Shakespeare, not more; no Thackeray; and I
|
||||
had no bomb manuals whatsoever.
|
||||
|
||||
13. The quotation is from (Hf) *Newsweek*, April 22, 1996,
|
||||
p. 32. I accepted "handouts" from my parents. Every one of
|
||||
them was matched by an equal handout to my brother, except
|
||||
for the final handouts in 1991, amounting to $7,700. See
|
||||
Chapter VII, pp. 211, 212 . As to the $7,700, brother could
|
||||
not have complained that he was getting short-changed, since
|
||||
at that time I renounced all claim to my share of our
|
||||
parents' estate, so that the entire amount (a matter of some
|
||||
hundreds of thousands of dollars) would go to my brother on
|
||||
our mother's death. See (Ca) FL #461, letter from me to
|
||||
David Kaczynski, July 20,1991, pp. 8, 9.
|
||||
|
||||
I never asked for nor accepted any "handouts" from my
|
||||
brother. In Chapter IX, pp. 260-262, I described how he
|
||||
offered me money for medical treatment in case I needed it
|
||||
and how I declined his offer. In 1985 my brother offered to
|
||||
give me $200 for bus fare so that I could visit him in
|
||||
Texas. (Ca) FL#302, letter from David Kaczynski to me, April
|
||||
or May, 1985, p. 4. I answered," Your offer to give me
|
||||
$200.00 for bus fare is very generous - but I couldn't
|
||||
accept it." (Ca) FL#304, letter from me to David Kaczynski,
|
||||
late spring or summer of 1985, p. 2. In late 1994 I asked my
|
||||
brother for two loans totalling $3,000. My brother did lend
|
||||
me this money, but a loan is not a "handout". It is true
|
||||
that I was unable to repay my brother at the time when I had
|
||||
told him I hoped to do so, but it is also true that the loan
|
||||
was well secured, so that he was in no danger of losing his
|
||||
money. I changed the deed to my land so that it was held by
|
||||
my brother and me in joint tenancy, and if I had died it
|
||||
would automatically have become his sole property. I also
|
||||
sent my brother notes in which I stated that the land was to
|
||||
become his property if I did not repay the loans by a
|
||||
specified date. According to a local realtor, the land could
|
||||
have been sold for about twelve or fifteen thousand dollars.
|
||||
All this is confirmed by my correspondence with my brother,
|
||||
(Ca) FL#473 through FL#483, and by (Ga) Deed #6.
|
||||
|
||||
14. (Ha) *NY Times Nat.*, May 26, 1996, p. 24, column 1.
|
||||
There was an article (Hd) *Missoulian*, April 3, 1997 (the
|
||||
*Missoulian* is the newspaper of Missoulia, Montana),
|
||||
authored by one Mick Holien, that was based on an interview
|
||||
wit Butch Gehring and his wife Wendy. It Contained the usual
|
||||
nonsense. It is distressing that a supposedly responsible
|
||||
newspaper would publish material like this solely on the
|
||||
word of people whom any experienced journalist should have
|
||||
recognized as chuckle-headed and unreliable.
|
||||
|
||||
15. (Ha) *NY Times Nat.*, May 26, 1996, p. 22, column 3. A
|
||||
photograph published in (Hg) *Time*, April 15, 1996, p. 46,
|
||||
shows me playing in sandbox in our back yard in Evergreen
|
||||
Park in 1954. I very often played in our back yard, and
|
||||
Leroy Weinberg must frequently have seen me doing so, since
|
||||
his back yard began only a few feet beyond the point where
|
||||
our back yard ended.
|
||||
|
||||
16. (Ha) *NY Times Nat.*, May 26, 1996, p. 24, column 1.
|
||||
|
||||
17. Same, p. 25, column 1.
|
||||
|
||||
18. Same, p. 1.
|
||||
|
||||
19. The media often inserted little inconspicuous phrases in
|
||||
their articles that would enable them to claim that they had
|
||||
not actually said that I was the Unabomber, but it is safe
|
||||
to say that most readers scarcely noticed these phrases and
|
||||
received essentially the message that I *was* the Unabomber.
|
||||
For example, (Hg) *Time*, April 15, 1996, p. 37: "The man
|
||||
who seems to be the Unabomber was arrested - another example
|
||||
of the way in which a demon, hitherto concealed, may shrivel
|
||||
when brought into sunlight. The suspect's family turned him
|
||||
in because they recognized his writings - a killer betrayed
|
||||
by his own prose style."
|
||||
|
||||
Despite the phrase "seems to be" and the fact that I was
|
||||
called a "suspect," to all but the most careful readers this
|
||||
amounted practically to a statement that I was the
|
||||
Unabomber.
|
||||
|
||||
20. See, for example, (Hg) *Time*, August 28, 1995, pp.
|
||||
50-57, 'The Evolution of Despair," by Robert Wright. The
|
||||
author does hint at practical action, but none that would be
|
||||
in conflict with the basic needs and values of the system.
|
||||
|
||||
21. Paul Goodman, *Growing up Absurd*, Vintage Books, 1960,
|
||||
Chapter II, pp. 39-40.
|
||||
|
||||
22. (Pb) Government's opposition to Donahoe's motion, p. 4.
|
||||
|
||||
23. Same, p. 3.
|
||||
|
||||
24. (Pa) Donahoe's memorandum in support of motion to
|
||||
dismiss, Appendix A and Appendix B.
|
||||
|
||||
25. For confirmation see (Cf) Letter from Quin Denvir to
|
||||
Michael Donahoe.
|
||||
|
||||
26. (Pb) Government's opposition to Donahoe's motion,
|
||||
Exhibit C.
|
||||
|
||||
27. (Pa) Donahoe's motion to dismiss.
|
||||
|
||||
28. (Pc) Denial of Donahoe's motion, pp. 7, 8.
|
||||
|
||||
29. (Ce) Letter from Quin Denvir to Robert Cleary.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,813 @@
|
|||
# CHAPTER X
|
||||
|
||||
Let's begin with two media reports of the Ellen Tarmichael
|
||||
affair. Following a paragraph that gave a badly garbled
|
||||
account of how I came to work at Foam Cutting Engineers in
|
||||
Addison, Illinois, the *New York Times* wrote:
|
||||
|
||||
"[Ted's] supervisor was Ellen Tarmichael, a soft-spoken
|
||||
but no-nonsense woman who is still a production manager with
|
||||
the company. One employee, Richard Johnson, called her 'a
|
||||
wonderful boss, the best I've ever had,' and added:
|
||||
'She's always kind-hearted and nice to people. I can see
|
||||
why somebody would get interested in her.'
|
||||
|
||||
"Ted Kaczynski became interested in late July 1978. ...
|
||||
[Actually it was mid-July or earlier. ¹]
|
||||
|
||||
"It was a Sunday, and he had gone for a walk. 'He happened
|
||||
to see her car,' David recalled. 'She was filling the gas
|
||||
tank. [This is not quite accurate. ²] I don't know exactly
|
||||
what transpired. He actually went to her apartment and
|
||||
played cards with her and her sister and her [sister's]
|
||||
boyfriend.'
|
||||
|
||||
"Later Ted came home. 'He was obviously in a good mood,'
|
||||
David said. 'He told me he had gone to see Ellen, that
|
||||
they had spent the day together... and that some gestures
|
||||
indicating affection had passed between them. I was very
|
||||
happy about that.'...
|
||||
|
||||
"They had two dates, Ms. Tarmichael recalled. She said he
|
||||
seemed intelligent and quiet, and she accepted a dinner
|
||||
invitation in late July. It was a French restaurant, David
|
||||
said, and Ted 'ordered wine and he smelled it [false: no
|
||||
wine was ordered], he made a big deal of it.' David added,
|
||||
'He had a good time.'
|
||||
|
||||
"Two weeks later, they went apple-picking and afterward
|
||||
went to his parents' home and baked a pie. That was when
|
||||
she told him she did not want to see him again 'I felt we
|
||||
didn't have much in common besides our employment,' she
|
||||
said. [This is no doubt true as far as it goes, but it is
|
||||
only part of the truth and by no means the most important
|
||||
part.]
|
||||
|
||||
" 'Ted did a total shutdown,' retreating into his room,
|
||||
David said. He also wrote an insulting limerick about Ms.
|
||||
Tarmichael, made copies and posted them in lavatories and on
|
||||
walls around the factory. He did not sign the limerick, but
|
||||
his relationship with the woman was known. [How? I never
|
||||
told anyone about it except my father, brother and mother.
|
||||
It could have become known at the plant only through
|
||||
blabbing by my father, by my brother, or by Ellen
|
||||
herself.]
|
||||
|
||||
"David confronted his brother. 'I was very, very angry,'
|
||||
he said. 'Part of me was disappointed. He was so close to
|
||||
being integrated in the most primal rite of integration. He
|
||||
had an interest in a member of the opposite sex, and to have
|
||||
him go back to this kind of angry, inappropriate behavior -
|
||||
to the family it was embarrassing, adolescent kind of
|
||||
behavior.'
|
||||
|
||||
"David told him to cease the offensive conduct. But Ted put
|
||||
the same limerick up the next day, above David's desk
|
||||
[actually I put it on the machine he was working with].
|
||||
David told him to go home. [That is, he fired me, which he
|
||||
could do because he had become a foreman by that time.]...
|
||||
|
||||
"David said Ted wrote Ms. Tarmichael a letter that 'had
|
||||
elements of apology about it.' But the investigators said
|
||||
the letter, which probably was not sent [it *was*
|
||||
sent - ³] partly blamed the woman for what had happened and
|
||||
said Ted had considered harming her." ⁴
|
||||
|
||||
This is how the *Washington Post* described the affair:
|
||||
|
||||
"Sometime before June 23, 1978, Ted wrote saying he needed
|
||||
money. They told him to come work with Dad and David at the
|
||||
Foam Cutting Engineers Inc. plant." ⁵
|
||||
|
||||
Here is another one of those seemingly minor distortions
|
||||
that the *Washington Post* no doubt will claim is accidental;
|
||||
yet the slight misstatement seriously misrepresents what
|
||||
actually happened, and, as is usual with the media's
|
||||
misstatements, it tends to make me look bad. Readers will
|
||||
of course interpret the *Washington Post's* statement to mean
|
||||
that I wrote home asking for money and that my parents
|
||||
told me that if I wanted it I would have to come
|
||||
and work for it. In fact, I did not write my parents asking
|
||||
for money; I asked, on my own initiative, whether it was
|
||||
likely that I could get a job at Foam Cutting Engineers.
|
||||
This is proved by the letters that I quoted in
|
||||
Chapter VII, pp. 211, 212.
|
||||
|
||||
The *Washington Post* continues:
|
||||
|
||||
"Ted Sr. was a manager, and David was Ted\'s boss." ⁵
|
||||
|
||||
Both statements are false. My father was not a manager but a
|
||||
sort of jack-of-all-trades who worked only part of the year
|
||||
fixing the machines, building jigs, and troubleshooting
|
||||
generally. David was the boss neither of Ted Sr. (my father)
|
||||
nor of Ted Jr. (me). When I started at Foam Cutting
|
||||
Engineers my brother was only an ordinary worker. Later he
|
||||
was promoted to foreman of the evening shift - but I worked
|
||||
on the day shift, so that he was not my boss. As I remember
|
||||
it, the shifts overlapped to some extent; the evening shift
|
||||
started at some time in the late afternoon before the day
|
||||
shift left. That was why my brother and I were at work at
|
||||
the same time and he had an opportunity to fire me. Since he
|
||||
was not the foreman of my shift, I was in doubt about
|
||||
whether he had the right to fire me, but Ellen confirmed the
|
||||
firing. I'm not certain that I remember correctly the
|
||||
overlapping of the shifts and the exact authority that my
|
||||
brother had at the moment of the firing; but that my account
|
||||
is approximately correct is confirmed by an entry in my
|
||||
journal that was written on the very day of the firing:
|
||||
|
||||
"This afternoon, I went over to where my brother was
|
||||
working, pasted up a copy of the poem before his eyes, and
|
||||
said, 'OK, are you going to fire me?' Of course, he did.
|
||||
Wanting to make sure that the firing was official (Dave is
|
||||
night boss and I am on the Day crew) I went into Ellen's
|
||||
office and asked her if the firing was official. ...[S]he
|
||||
said that... she would have to uphold the firing." ⁶
|
||||
|
||||
To proceed with the *Washington Post* Article:
|
||||
|
||||
"Soon after he arrived at the family home, then in Lombard,
|
||||
Ill., Ted had a date with a co-worker named Ellen
|
||||
Tarmichael. Wanda and Ted Sr. were thrilled. After two
|
||||
dates, Ellen lost interest. Ted, in a rage, posted insulting
|
||||
limericks about her at the plant. David had to fire his own
|
||||
brother, a predicament he now sees as 'foreshadowing what I
|
||||
had to do later' in turning Ted in to the FBI. Ted locked
|
||||
himself in his room for days." ⁵
|
||||
|
||||
The last sentence is at best misleading. All members of my
|
||||
family took an angry and accusing attitude toward me after
|
||||
the incident, and consequently, for the next two or perhaps
|
||||
three days, when I was at home I spent most of my time in my
|
||||
room rather than with the family - as I'm sure the majority
|
||||
of people would have done under similar circumstances.
|
||||
Most of the time my door was not locked. Within a few days
|
||||
I went out and got another job. ⁷
|
||||
|
||||
The rest of the paragraph and the following two paragraphs
|
||||
of the *Washington Post* article are wholly false and reflect
|
||||
only my mother's inability to distinguish truth from her
|
||||
own fantasies. The next paragraph refers to the letter that
|
||||
I wrote Ellen Tarmichael on August 25, 1978 (the letter is
|
||||
dated) and showed to my family by way of explanation either
|
||||
on the 25th or the 26th:
|
||||
|
||||
"Ted came out of the room with several written pages in his
|
||||
hand, his attempt to explain himself. He wrote that Ellen
|
||||
had been intentionally cruel to him. None of them
|
||||
[the family] felt that was even remotely true. [That's
|
||||
false!] At the end of the missive,
|
||||
he repeated his insulting limerick, said David, 'like he
|
||||
wasn't going to take it back. No matter what.'" ⁵
|
||||
|
||||
This is either another lie or another error on my brother's
|
||||
part. I saved a carbon copy of the letter, and the
|
||||
insulting limerick is repeated nowhere in it. ⁸
|
||||
|
||||
\*\*\*\*\*\*
|
||||
|
||||
Now here is the full and true story of the Ellen Tarmichael
|
||||
affair.
|
||||
|
||||
When I started work at Foam Cutting Engineers, Ellen was the
|
||||
day shift foreman and therefore my immediate superior. At
|
||||
first I did not find her sexually interesting because, while
|
||||
her face was attractive, her figure was not. As I wrote in
|
||||
my journal, "She has a beautiful face but a very mediocre
|
||||
figure (too much fat on her ass thighs" ⁹ But as I got to
|
||||
know her I found that she had a good sense of humor and was
|
||||
apparently a very nice person; and, as I wrote, "she is
|
||||
very attractive because she has *charm*, her personality, so
|
||||
far as it is exhibited to the world at large, is very
|
||||
attractive, she is apparently very intelligent, and probably
|
||||
quite competent." ¹⁰ She seemed very friendly toward me
|
||||
and, rightly or wrongly, I thought she liked me.
|
||||
|
||||
I'd had very little contact with women for several years,
|
||||
and I'd had no relationship with one for fully sixteen
|
||||
years, since I'd broken off with Ellen A. This rendered me
|
||||
very susceptible, with the result that within two or three
|
||||
weeks of starting at Foam Cutting Engineers I got infatuated
|
||||
with Ellen Tarmichael - as my journal records. ¹⁰
|
||||
|
||||
As I explained in Chapter III, p. 83, ever since the painful
|
||||
experiences of my adolescence I had found it extremely
|
||||
difficult to make advances to women. In this case I found it
|
||||
even more difficult than usual because Ellen, my father, my
|
||||
brother, and I were all working at the same shop, so that,
|
||||
if I made advances to her and was rejected, I would feel
|
||||
shamed before my own family - who were not tolerant of any
|
||||
weaknesses or mistakes on my part. I couldn't seem to get up
|
||||
the nerve to ask her out either at work or by telephone, so
|
||||
one Sunday afternoon I looked up her address and took a
|
||||
stroll in that direction with the intention of making her an
|
||||
unannounced visit, ¹¹ assuming I didn't chicken out, as I
|
||||
probably would have done. But by sheer chance I happened to
|
||||
meet Ellen along the way - at a gas station, though the
|
||||
meeting was a bit more complicated than what my brother
|
||||
described to the *New York Times*. ¹² She greeted me
|
||||
cordially, I told her I'd been going to drop in on her, she
|
||||
invited me into her car and "she drove me to the apartment
|
||||
that she shares with her sister Liz. Liz was there with her
|
||||
boyfriend George; but they shortly left to play golf so that
|
||||
I had a pleasant conversation of 2 or 3 hours with Ellen.
|
||||
She told me a good deal about herself... . [S]he has a
|
||||
streak in her personality that would be attractive if it
|
||||
were not so strongly developed; but as it is, I think it
|
||||
repels me more than attracts me; it is a kind of egotistical
|
||||
streak, or a need for superiority and dominance. You would
|
||||
never guess from he[r] usual behavior that she has such a
|
||||
streak; but she told me that when she was a kid (she was the
|
||||
second child in the family) she had a tremendous need to do
|
||||
better than her elder brother... in all activities
|
||||
whatsoever. In every sport, in school, etc. She would
|
||||
practice and practice a sport all by herself until she could
|
||||
beat her brother. She claims she succeeded so well that she
|
||||
thoroughly demoralized her poor brother. She says that up to
|
||||
a couple of years ago she believed she could do anything.
|
||||
She seems to be conceited about her job and overestimates
|
||||
her importance to the company. She says she intends to be
|
||||
president of the company some day. Yet she says all these
|
||||
things in a gentle and feminine manner, not in a boastful or
|
||||
aggressive way. ... Liz and George had returned... we all
|
||||
played pinochle until after 11 PM. ... [Ellen] drove me
|
||||
home. When we arrived, I said, 'Am I being too aggressive if
|
||||
I ask for a goodnight kiss?' She averted her eyes and moved
|
||||
her head...as if she were hesitating. Then she said
|
||||
'alright.' (I suspect she really had no hesitation about
|
||||
kissing but was only trying to make a certain impression.)
|
||||
Then she leaned over toward me for the kiss and we had a
|
||||
nice big juicy delicious kiss with firm pressure. Now, I am
|
||||
so very inexperienced in these matters that I am in a very
|
||||
poor position to judge, but it did seem to me that she
|
||||
kissed me somewhat aggressively; at least, she had her mouth
|
||||
on mine before I was even ready for it. I said in a soft and
|
||||
rather fervent tone, 'Oh, I like you!' She gave the curious
|
||||
reply: 'You can't say that. You don't know me.' then we
|
||||
said goodbye. I didn't think much about her reply at the
|
||||
time, but it seems particularly curious in view of a rumor
|
||||
that my father told me about today: It is said that Ellen
|
||||
never goes out with any man more than once or twice." ¹³
|
||||
|
||||
Actually, I had overheard my father telling my mother the
|
||||
same thing a few days earlier; see below.
|
||||
|
||||
When I got home (i.e., to my parents' house) after my visit
|
||||
with Ellen, I went to my brother's bedroom and told him
|
||||
about my experiences of the day. He seemed oddly
|
||||
unresponsive; he showed no emotion, said little, and asked
|
||||
no questions. I then said, "A few days ago I heard Dad
|
||||
telling Ma that Female 16 says that Ellen goes out with a
|
||||
guy a couple of times and then you never hear any more about
|
||||
it. Have you heard anything about her?" My brother said he
|
||||
had heard nothing definite, only that there was "something
|
||||
funny" about Ellen in her relations with men. ¹⁴ The next
|
||||
day I asked my father about her and he told me directly (as
|
||||
indicated above) that it was rumored that she never went out
|
||||
with any man more than a couple of times.
|
||||
|
||||
Before my visit with Ellen at her apartment she had been
|
||||
invariably kind, obliging, and friendly toward me, but from
|
||||
the time I showed that I had a sexual interest in her a
|
||||
certain inconsistency manifested itself in her behavior
|
||||
toward me. Now and again she would make a remark that had a
|
||||
certain bite to it, not enough so that it could definitely
|
||||
be called rude, but enough to make me wonder.
|
||||
|
||||
From my journal:
|
||||
|
||||
"July 29 [1978]. Yesterday I took Ellen Tarmichael to an
|
||||
expensive restaurant for supper." ¹⁵
|
||||
|
||||
The table conversation was pleasant enough, except that
|
||||
Ellen gave further
|
||||
indications that she had an excessive concern with power,
|
||||
and maybe even a sadistic streak:
|
||||
|
||||
"[S]he...said to me that she was a 'very vindictive
|
||||
person' and would do anything 'no matter how underhanded'
|
||||
to get revenge if she wanted it... ." ¹⁶
|
||||
|
||||
When we left the restaurant,
|
||||
|
||||
"[S]he...invited me to her apartment, where, she
|
||||
hastened to add, we would not be alone. Actually we *were*
|
||||
alone for an hour or more as her sister and sister\'s -
|
||||
boyfriend were out-to eat. The situation was not such that
|
||||
I could readily make any sexual advances... . After her
|
||||
sister and sister's boyfriend returned I had a very boring
|
||||
time listening to a conversation in which I took very little
|
||||
part. Finally, at 12:30 AM, Ellen asked me if I would like
|
||||
to 'go out for coffee.' I said yes. So I drove her to a
|
||||
place nearby that she recommended. We spent an hour and a
|
||||
half there discussing various topics. Then I took her home,
|
||||
and, on arrival, asked for a goodnight kiss. I got an even
|
||||
better one than last time. Mouths wide open, tongues
|
||||
rubbing. *She* started that open-mouth, tongue-rubbing stuff,
|
||||
not me. ... All this might have lasted, say, 3 minutes.
|
||||
Then she said, 'I think it's time for you to go home.' So
|
||||
I did. Though she is very charming and attractive much of
|
||||
the time, by now I greatly dislike her because of her
|
||||
egotism and its consequences; for example: she spent some
|
||||
time bragging about how she was going to become president of
|
||||
the company and how she was in on company secrets and so
|
||||
forth... .
|
||||
|
||||
"... She says that Wynn \[sic; should be Win\] (the
|
||||
president of this 2-bit foam-cutting corporation) likes me
|
||||
and would like to keep me in the company, or at least is
|
||||
thinking along those lines. She asked me not to tell Wynn
|
||||
that I had gone out with her; because she said that Wynn had
|
||||
suggested to her that she should use herself as bait to keep
|
||||
me around the company; but she had refused. A couple of
|
||||
hours later when this subject came up again, she said that
|
||||
Wynn had only made the suggestion in jest. I don't know
|
||||
just what the truth of the matter is; I wouldn't trust
|
||||
Ellen for strict accuracy." ¹⁷
|
||||
|
||||
In spite of the fact that I wrote in my journal, "by now I
|
||||
greatly dislike her," I was still infatuated with Ellen.
|
||||
After our dinner date her behavior toward me became more
|
||||
inconsistent than it had been before. At times she was warm
|
||||
and friendly and seemed to invite my overtures; at other
|
||||
times, for no apparent reason, she would turn so cold that
|
||||
she seemed to be trying to hurt me. Hence I told myself
|
||||
repeatedly that I wasn't interested in her any more.
|
||||
Undoubtedly I would really have lost interest in her if I
|
||||
hadn't been so sex-starved, or if I had known how to look
|
||||
elsewhere for a woman. As it was, I remained infatuated.
|
||||
|
||||
Without revealing the extent of my feelings toward Ellen or
|
||||
the fact that she sometimes seemed to be hurting me
|
||||
intentionally, I discussed with my father and brother her
|
||||
egotistical and disagreeable concern with power. They agreed
|
||||
that she did have such a concern, and my brother attributed
|
||||
it to feelings of inferiority. I answered that I saw no
|
||||
evidence of such feelings on her part.
|
||||
|
||||
On Sunday, August 20, I took Ellen out to the forest
|
||||
preserves to pick wild apples, from which we were to make
|
||||
pies. Three days later I wrote:
|
||||
|
||||
"It now seems clear that from the very beginning of this
|
||||
date she was out to humiliate me, or at least to assert a
|
||||
certain type of superiority over me. This in spite of the
|
||||
fact that I had made it very clear to her that I was very
|
||||
sweet on her. I was at pains on this date to be attentive
|
||||
and agreeable; but she was very cool; not so much so as to
|
||||
bring out any open disagreement, but just the right amount
|
||||
to leave me unhappy and wondering." ¹⁸
|
||||
|
||||
For example, when we got out of the car at the forest
|
||||
preserve, instead of walking alongside me, she walked a
|
||||
couple of feet behind. Two or three times I waited
|
||||
for her to catch up and tried to walk alongside of her,
|
||||
but in each case she promptly dropped back again, though
|
||||
I was walking slowly. ¹⁹ This was particularly
|
||||
embarrassing to me since there were many people present at
|
||||
this popular picnic spot. When we headed home with the
|
||||
apples, she insisted that we should make the pies at my
|
||||
parents' house, but that I should first take her back to
|
||||
her apartment so that she could get her car and drive
|
||||
herself to my parents' house, then drive herself home
|
||||
afterward.
|
||||
|
||||
"She insisted on a peculiar way of using her auto and mine
|
||||
[actually, my father's\]; this arrangement was such that I
|
||||
would have no opportunity to ask for a goodnight kiss. At
|
||||
this point I felt that explicit clarification was called
|
||||
for, so I asked her if she was intentionally avoiding a
|
||||
goodnight kiss. After a little hesitation she answered that
|
||||
she was. I then asked further questions..." ²⁰
|
||||
|
||||
When I thus tried to open to the light of day her indirect
|
||||
and half-covert maneuverings, she became quite tense, and
|
||||
her voice was at first slightly shaky.
|
||||
|
||||
"...and what she told me was essentially this: She had no
|
||||
sexual interest in me; she said she liked me, but the way
|
||||
and the context in which she said it indicated that it was
|
||||
the condescending sort of liking that one might have for a
|
||||
child or for some other kind of social inferior.
|
||||
|
||||
"She claimed she went out with me mainly in order to
|
||||
satisfy her curiosity about me because she had never met
|
||||
anyone like me before. She said a kiss 'doesn't mean
|
||||
anything.' She claimed there was no sex in it when she
|
||||
kissed me. (This seems a little implausible in the case of
|
||||
an open-mouth kiss with tongues rubbing... .)
|
||||
|
||||
"During the first part of the date she [had been] cool
|
||||
and a little glum; but...after she had humiliated me she
|
||||
immediately became quite cheerful and gay for the rest of
|
||||
the day. ...
|
||||
|
||||
"It seemed to me that during the rest of the day she would
|
||||
occasionally rub in her little triumph by making remarks
|
||||
that were somewhat cutting but not so much so as to bring
|
||||
about any open breach of friendlyness [sic]. For example,
|
||||
I asked her what were some of my unusual characteristics
|
||||
that made her feel I was 'unlike anyone she had ever met.'
|
||||
The first one she mentioned was: 'You are so very lacking
|
||||
in confidence socially.' (True enough, but not nice to say
|
||||
so, unless after taking special pains to be tactful.)" ²¹
|
||||
|
||||
One thing she told me in the course of that conversation
|
||||
particularly struck me. She talked about some fellow she had
|
||||
gone out with a great deal when she was in college, saying,
|
||||
"I treated him rotten, I even stood him up one time, but he
|
||||
still kept taking me out." What was remarkable was the
|
||||
*relish* with which she said she had "treated him rotten."
|
||||
|
||||
At the time, I was desperately confused about Ellen and her
|
||||
behavior toward me, but after the dust had settled the
|
||||
explanation seemed pretty clear. She, to my way of thinking,
|
||||
was a sexual sadist. Under ordinary circumstances she was a
|
||||
nice, friendly, considerate person; but when she was feeling
|
||||
sexy she got her kicks from hurting men. ²² Probably most
|
||||
men were not seriously hurt by her. After having a couple of
|
||||
dates with her and learning what she was like, they just
|
||||
stopped asking her out. But I was especially vulnerable
|
||||
because of my past history and my inexperience with women.
|
||||
During the latter part of that last date,
|
||||
|
||||
"I took pains to conceal my feelings, and remained
|
||||
outwardly cheerful and friendly, though half the time I
|
||||
wanted to cry and the other half the time I wanted to kill
|
||||
her." ²³
|
||||
|
||||
"I loved that damn bitch. She knew I had soft feelings
|
||||
toward her and she intentionally used these to lead me on
|
||||
and then she calculatedly humiliated me.
|
||||
|
||||
"I was so upset by this that for the next 2 nights I was
|
||||
unable to sleep more than 4 hours a night, and, what was
|
||||
worse, I was exhausted by nervous tension. That date was
|
||||
Sunday. Monday I did nothing about it because I was
|
||||
exhausted and had had no time to think things over. But
|
||||
after work I did think things over; I had an overwhelming
|
||||
need for revenge and I decided to get it by persistently
|
||||
needling and insulting her at work." ²⁴
|
||||
|
||||
I hoped I could bring matters to such a pass that the whole
|
||||
nasty business would be dragged out in front of the crew,
|
||||
presumably to Ellen's great embarrassment. ²⁵
|
||||
|
||||
"I started Tuesday morning by pasting up some copies of an
|
||||
insulting poem that I wrote about her." ²⁶
|
||||
|
||||
"I don't doubt that I could have made things very
|
||||
unpleasant for her by such methods - except that my
|
||||
weak-minded, self-righteous brother took it upon himself to
|
||||
interfere. Having seen the poem I pasted up, he said he
|
||||
would fire me...and 'maybe bust your ass, too' if I did
|
||||
it again." ²⁷
|
||||
|
||||
I asked my brother to listen to my side of the story, but he
|
||||
angrily refused to do so, and let stand his threat to fire
|
||||
me.
|
||||
|
||||
"Of course, that was a direct challenge, so I wasn't
|
||||
about to back down. This afternoon [August 23, 1978], I
|
||||
went over to where my brother was working and pasted up a
|
||||
copy of the poem before his eyes...," ²⁸ whereupon he
|
||||
fired me, as described earlier. When I went to Ellen's
|
||||
office to ask her whether the firing was valid, she seemed
|
||||
dismayed at the situation and was apparently reluctant to
|
||||
confirm my dismissal. In my journal, naturally, I put a
|
||||
negative interpretation on this behavior, ²⁹ but in
|
||||
retrospect I think she was genuinely sorry at what had
|
||||
happened. Despite her description of herself as
|
||||
"vindictive" (see p. 283) I don't think she was in
|
||||
reality a vindictive person under ordinary circumstances. I
|
||||
think her sadistic streak manifested itself only when she
|
||||
was feeling sexy; it was for her a source of sexual
|
||||
gratification and did not imply any tendency to cruelty in a
|
||||
non-sexual situation.
|
||||
|
||||
Since my brother had frustrated my retaliation against
|
||||
Ellen, I was choking with anger, and, to make matters worse,
|
||||
my mother and father turned against me too, *without*
|
||||
listening to my side of the story first. ³⁰
|
||||
|
||||
"[T]hat weak fool Dave has made that bitch's triumph
|
||||
complete: She humiliates me sexually, she gets me fired from
|
||||
my job, and she causes dissension in my family.
|
||||
I have shed more tears over that cheap whore than I have
|
||||
over anything since my teens... .
|
||||
|
||||
"What makes this particularly hard is the fact that it
|
||||
recalls bitter experiences over many years, reaching right
|
||||
back to my early teens...," ³¹ namely, the rejections I had
|
||||
experienced and my complete lack of success with women. I
|
||||
was more choked with frustrated anger than I'd ever been in
|
||||
my life, so I decided to retaliate against Ellen in the only
|
||||
way that remained to me - by attacking her physically. To
|
||||
abbreviate as much as possible the account of a distasteful
|
||||
episode, on Thursday, August 24, I waited for Ellen in the
|
||||
parking lot of Foam Cutting Engineers. When she arrived I
|
||||
confronted her, talked with her briefly, and then left
|
||||
without laying a finger on her. ³² After that my anger was
|
||||
burned out, and since then I haven't hated her.
|
||||
|
||||
The next day I went out and got a job at Prince Castle (by
|
||||
that time I'd learned how to lie on application forms), and
|
||||
the same day I wrote Ellen a long letter of explanation,
|
||||
which I *did* mail. According to the media, Ellen has said
|
||||
that she never received "any correspondence" from me. ³³
|
||||
If she did say that, then she was not telling the truth. A
|
||||
letter is occasionally lost in the mail, but besides the
|
||||
first letter I also sent her a second letter (dated
|
||||
September 2, 1978), and the chance that *both* of these
|
||||
letters could have been lost in the mail is so slight that
|
||||
we can be for all practical purposes certain that she
|
||||
received at least one of them. Both letters are reproduced
|
||||
in Appendix 9.
|
||||
|
||||
Why has Ellen denied receiving my letter? Maybe she doesn't
|
||||
remember it, or maybe she wants to avoid discussing its
|
||||
content, which would force her to address the issue of her
|
||||
behavior toward me.
|
||||
|
||||
Probably on August 25, when I wrote it, or conceivably on
|
||||
the following day, I showed the letter to my parents as a
|
||||
way of explaining my behavior. They read it and said that
|
||||
now they understood better; the tension went out of the
|
||||
atmosphere and we were reconciled. However, my parents did
|
||||
not apologize for the way they'd reacted earlier. Then I
|
||||
went to my brother's bedroom (where he spent most of his
|
||||
time when staying at the house in Lombard ³⁴) and showed
|
||||
him the letter. He too read it, and while he did not
|
||||
apologize explicitly at that time, ³⁵ his manner seemed to
|
||||
indicate that he regretted the way he had reacted; and I was
|
||||
reconciled with him, too. The *New York Times* stated that
|
||||
"tensions between the brothers continued]," ³⁶ but this
|
||||
is false.
|
||||
|
||||
In fairness to Ellen Tarmichael I must make it clear that
|
||||
when the whole affair was finished her attitude was
|
||||
conciliatory and even kind. As I wrote in my journal:
|
||||
|
||||
"Sept. 1. Yesterday...my father brought home from
|
||||
Foam-Cutting Eng. a present of home-made cookies from
|
||||
Ellen, for the family. ...I sent Ellen a message through
|
||||
my father: that the cookies were delicious, that I apologize
|
||||
for the tone of my letter, and that I no longer have any
|
||||
hard feelings toward her. Today he said he'd given her the
|
||||
message. He said she seemed pleased and that she said: 'I
|
||||
think the problem was that Ted and I speak different
|
||||
languages.' " ³⁷
|
||||
|
||||
Notice that this passage tends to confirm that Ellen did
|
||||
receive my letter. If she hadn't received it, then, when my
|
||||
father told her that I apologized for the tone of the
|
||||
letter, she presumably would have answered that she hadn't
|
||||
received any letter, and my father would have reported that
|
||||
fact to me.
|
||||
|
||||
Also notice that Ellen failed to face up to the real source
|
||||
of the problem - that she had a streak of sexual sadism.
|
||||
|
||||
\*\*\*\*\*\*
|
||||
|
||||
The reader will please review my brother's recent remarks on
|
||||
the Ellen Tarmichael affair as reported by the *New York
|
||||
Times* and the *Washington Post* (quoted at the beginning of
|
||||
this chapter) and compare them with the following passages
|
||||
that he wrote in 1981, some three-years after the events:
|
||||
|
||||
"I was wrong to fire you and threaten you. I did so in
|
||||
anger because you were behaving badly (which is your own
|
||||
business) and because you caused severe embarrassment to Dad
|
||||
and me. ... But I realized soon afterwards that I should
|
||||
have taken into account how badly you were feeling at the
|
||||
time." ³⁸
|
||||
|
||||
"I think if the manner of your taking revenge against Ellen
|
||||
had arisen in its own isolation, I probably would have
|
||||
responded very differently, though it would be impossible
|
||||
now to know for sure. I hope, at any rate, that I would have
|
||||
responded differently." ³⁹
|
||||
|
||||
There follows a passage in which my brother argues that
|
||||
during the months preceding the incident in question I had
|
||||
been treating our parents badly. It is a passage that I am
|
||||
unable to understand, since it seems to me that during that
|
||||
period my relations with our parents were better than at any
|
||||
other time since I was eleven or twelve years old.
|
||||
|
||||
My brother's letter continues:
|
||||
|
||||
"When you brought trouble into the workplace (as I
|
||||
conceived it) I guess I just lost my head and my discretion
|
||||
completely. ... ⁴⁰ I say again that I was wrong to do what
|
||||
I did, although I suppose I have learned (for whatever good
|
||||
it will do me) how thoroughly I can be undone by my bad
|
||||
temper. ... ⁴⁰ From my point of view, all of this is in
|
||||
the past, though of course I acknowledge the major injury
|
||||
was yours not mine." ⁴¹
|
||||
|
||||
These passages show that, while my conduct in the Tarmichael
|
||||
affair was not exactly noble and generous, my brother did
|
||||
realize that there were two sides to the story and that my
|
||||
behavior was at any rate understandable (whict does not
|
||||
imply that it was blameless). Yet, if the *New York Times*
|
||||
and the *Washington Post* have reported his remarks
|
||||
accurately, he gave them a one-sided version of the affair
|
||||
that made it appear that there was no mitigation for my
|
||||
behavior.
|
||||
|
||||
This provides further evidence that my brother's motive for
|
||||
talking to the media about me was not what he claimed, to
|
||||
"humanize" me and decrease my risk of suffering the death
|
||||
penalty. If that had been his motive he would have taken a
|
||||
softer approach, comparable to that of his 1981 letters,
|
||||
which recognized that there were two sides to the story.
|
||||
Instead, he took a hard line and portrayed me in a way that
|
||||
was certainly not calculated to win the sympathy of a judge
|
||||
or a jury.
|
||||
|
||||
\*\*\*\*\*\*
|
||||
|
||||
I want to reiterate that I believe Ms. Tarmichael to be
|
||||
under normal circumstances a very decent and kindly person.
|
||||
Sexual peculiarities are of course commonplace and when she
|
||||
gave expression to hers in regard to me I'm sure that she
|
||||
had no idea of how badly she was hurting me - since she
|
||||
knew nothing about my past history.
|
||||
I've included this chapter only to put before the public
|
||||
the truth about a matter that has been badly misrepresented
|
||||
in the media. I ask journalists to refrain from harassing
|
||||
Ms. Tarmichael with questions about this affair. It's
|
||||
doubtful that they will honor this request, but if they
|
||||
don't it will be further evidence of the irresponsibility
|
||||
of the majority of media people.
|
||||
|
||||
## NOTES TO CHAPTER X
|
||||
|
||||
1. (Ba) Journals of TJK, Series VI #2, July 17, 1978, pp.
|
||||
1-3.
|
||||
|
||||
2. Same, July 17, 1978, pp. 2-5.
|
||||
|
||||
3. Same, August 26, 1978, p. 43.
|
||||
|
||||
4. (Ha) *NY Times Nat.*, May 26, 1996, p. 24, columns 2, 3.
|
||||
|
||||
5. (Hb) *Washington Post*, June 16, 1996, p. A21.
|
||||
|
||||
6. (Ba) Journals of TJK, Series VI #2, August 23, 1978, pp.
|
||||
33, 34.
|
||||
|
||||
7. My brother fired me on Wednesday, August 23 ((Ba)
|
||||
Journals of TJK, Series VI #2, August 23, 1978, pp. 32, 33).
|
||||
As I remember it, I was hired by Prince Castle on Friday,
|
||||
August 25, and began work there on Monday, August 28.
|
||||
Whether or not my memory is accurate on this point, it is
|
||||
certain that I had begun work at Prince Castle by Thursday,
|
||||
August 31, since on September 1 I wrote in my journal,
|
||||
"Yesterday I felt extremely bad again. But when I got home
|
||||
from work in the evening... ." (Ba) Journals of TJK,
|
||||
Series VI #4, September 1, 1978, p. 5.
|
||||
|
||||
8. (Cb) FL Supplementary Item #11, letter from me to Ellen
|
||||
Tarmichael, August 25, 1978.
|
||||
|
||||
9. (Ba) Journals of TJK, Series VI #2, July 17, 1978, p. 1.
|
||||
|
||||
10. Same, July 17, 1978, pp. 1, 2.
|
||||
|
||||
11. Same, July 17, 1978, p. 3.
|
||||
|
||||
12. Same, July 17, 1978, pp. 3-5.
|
||||
|
||||
13. Same, July 17, 1978, pp. 5-10. This journal entry was
|
||||
written on the day after the events it describes, since we
|
||||
find on p. 3: "I figured I would just...drop in on her
|
||||
unannounced on Sunday (yesterday) afternoon."
|
||||
|
||||
14. (Ad) Autobiog of TJK 1988, p. 16: "[A]t the age of
|
||||
36 I found an intelligent and attractive 30-year old woman
|
||||
(call her Miss T.)... . I'd heard vague rumors to the
|
||||
effect that there was something funny about her, but beggars
|
||||
can't be choosers, so I took my chances... ."
|
||||
|
||||
15. (Ba) Journals of TJK, Series VI #2, July 29,
|
||||
1978, p. 10.
|
||||
|
||||
16. Same, August 23, 1978, p. 30. I recorded this remark of
|
||||
Ellen's almost four weeks after the dinner date, and I did
|
||||
not state in my journal that the remark was made on that
|
||||
date, but I remember it as having been made at that time. In
|
||||
any case, it matters little whether Ellen made the remark
|
||||
then or at some other time.
|
||||
|
||||
In the early months of 1979 I wrote:
|
||||
|
||||
"In 1978 I knew a woman named Ellen Tarmichael. Once she
|
||||
told me that if anyone ever played a dirty trick on her she
|
||||
would get revenge no matter what; she would do anything, no
|
||||
matter how underhanded, etc., etc. She sounded so
|
||||
unscrupulous that I started to feel a little uneasy with
|
||||
her. Later that same day, she started giving me a spiel
|
||||
about how she felt everyone had a duty to help society and
|
||||
all that kind of stuff. I asked her how she would square
|
||||
this with the vengeful attitudes she had been expressing
|
||||
earlier. She said, 'Well, those ideas of revenge are only
|
||||
things that I fantasize. I have never actually done anything
|
||||
like that.' " (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 102, 103.
|
||||
|
||||
17. (Ba) Journals of TJK, Series VI #2, July 29,
|
||||
1978, pp. 10-15.
|
||||
|
||||
18. Same, August 23, 1978, p. 21.
|
||||
|
||||
19. (Ad) Autobiog of TJK 1988, p. 17 "[S]he refused to
|
||||
walk alongside me and insisted on walking a couple of feet
|
||||
behind."
|
||||
|
||||
20. (Ba) Journals of TJK, Series VI #2, August 23,
|
||||
1978, pp. 21,22.
|
||||
|
||||
21. Same, August 23, 1978, pp. 22-25.
|
||||
|
||||
22. (Ad) Autobiog of TJK 1988, p. 17: "From my own
|
||||
experience with her, from what I'd heard about her, and
|
||||
from things that she said, I concluded that she was probably
|
||||
a sadist who got a sexual kick out of humiliating men."
|
||||
|
||||
23. (Ba) Journals of TJK, Series VI #2, August 23,
|
||||
1978, p. 24.
|
||||
|
||||
24. Same, August 23, 1978, pp. 25-27.
|
||||
|
||||
25. (Cb) FL Supplementary Item #11, letter from me to Ellen
|
||||
Tarmichael, August 25, 1978, p. 6.
|
||||
|
||||
26. (Ba) Journals of TJK, Series VI #2, August 23, 1978, p.
|
||||
27, and August 26, 1978, p. 44.
|
||||
|
||||
The media have stated that at work I made "loud, crude
|
||||
remarks" about Ellen. ((Ja) *Mad Genius*, p. 53; (Jb)
|
||||
*Unabomber*, pp. 97, 98.) This is false. Apart from
|
||||
the limericks there was some hostile eye contact between us,
|
||||
and at one point I pinched her behind, but I made no
|
||||
offensive remarks to her or about her. I might have done so
|
||||
later if my brother had not interfered by firing me, but I
|
||||
did not in fact do so. If I *had* made offensive remarks they
|
||||
would not have been loud. Everyone who knows me at all well
|
||||
knows that that just isn't my way. See (Ba) Journals of
|
||||
TJK, Series VI #2, August 23, 1978, pp. 26-32, where are
|
||||
described the interactions between Ellen and me from the
|
||||
time I pasted up the limericks to the time when my brother
|
||||
fired me.
|
||||
|
||||
27. (Ba) Journals of TJK, Series VI #2, August 23,
|
||||
1978, p. 32.
|
||||
|
||||
28. Same, August 23, 1978, pp. 32, 33.
|
||||
|
||||
29. Same, August 23, 1978, pp. 33-35.
|
||||
|
||||
30. (Ca) FL #458, letter from me to my mother, July 5,
|
||||
1991, p. 2: "[You'll remember what happened when Ellen
|
||||
Tarmichael...intentionally and cruelly hurt and
|
||||
humiliated me, and I retaliated by trying to embarrass her.
|
||||
*Refusing to listen to my side of the story*, Dave (as well
|
||||
as you and Dad) jumped down on me and treated me as if I
|
||||
were some kind of a monster."
|
||||
|
||||
31. (Ba) Journals of TJK, Series VI #2, August 23,
|
||||
1978, pp. 35, 36.
|
||||
|
||||
32. Same, August 23, 1978, p. 40, and August 26,
|
||||
1978, pp. 40-43.
|
||||
|
||||
33. (Ja) *Mad Genius*, p. 53.
|
||||
|
||||
34. If I wanted to be nasty, I could say that he "shut
|
||||
himself up in his room for days at a time." He certainly
|
||||
spent at least as much time in his room as I did in mine.
|
||||
|
||||
35. (Ca) FL #458, letter from me to my mother, July 5,
|
||||
1991, p. 2: "[E]ven after I had fully explained to you
|
||||
what had happened, not one of you three apologized to me or
|
||||
said a single word in sympathy for my pain. To do Dave
|
||||
justice,...*a couple of years later* he did apologize... ."
|
||||
|
||||
36. (Ha) *NY Times Nat.*, May 26, 1996, p. 24, column 3.
|
||||
|
||||
37. (Ba) Journals of TJK, Series VI #4, September 1, 1978,
|
||||
pp. 5, 6.
|
||||
|
||||
38. (Ca) FL #245, letter from David Kaczynski to me, late
|
||||
summer or fall of 1981, pp. 2, 3.
|
||||
|
||||
39. (Ca) FL #247, letter from David Kaczynski to me, late
|
||||
summer or fall of 1981, p. 1.
|
||||
|
||||
40. The three dots are in the original.
|
||||
|
||||
41. (Ca) FL #247, letter from David Kaczynski to me, late
|
||||
summer or fall of 1981, p. 3.
|
||||
Binary file not shown.
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,658 @@
|
|||
# CHAPTER II
|
||||
|
||||
My mother, my brother, and the media have portrayed me as
|
||||
socially isolated to an abnormal degree from earliest
|
||||
childhood. For example, shortly after my arrest, *Time*
|
||||
reported: "Investigators were told that in childhood Ted
|
||||
seemed to avoid human contact." ¹
|
||||
|
||||
According to Investigator #1's interview with my mother,
|
||||
|
||||
"As he grew older (age 2-4) Wanda spent a great deal of
|
||||
time attempting to get Ted to play with other kids, mostly
|
||||
without success. Friends and relatives always told her Ted
|
||||
was too clingy, so she attempted to encourage his
|
||||
interaction with other children. She would invite children
|
||||
from the neighborhood over to play, only to have Ted leave
|
||||
the group and go to his room to play alone. She said he
|
||||
always managed to have one friend at a time, but would
|
||||
rebuff the attempts of friendship from all other children.
|
||||
Wanda also took Ted to a play school for children for an
|
||||
hour or so each week so that he could play with other kids.
|
||||
Ted didn't mind going, but would play alongside the other
|
||||
children instead of with them. Ted would get angry if
|
||||
another child tried to join or interfered with what he was
|
||||
doing. Ted went to preschool and kindergarten, and seemed to
|
||||
enjoy it. The teachers did not complain about his behavior,
|
||||
but did mention Ted always wanted to work on projects alone,
|
||||
and did not interact with other children." ²
|
||||
|
||||
The *Washington Post* told a similar tale on the basis of an
|
||||
interview with my mother. ³
|
||||
|
||||
Here again the documentary evidence shows that my mother is
|
||||
lying. I will not try the reader's patience by addressing
|
||||
all of her false statements, but will stick to the essential
|
||||
point, that my interaction with other children was normal
|
||||
until, at about the age of 11, I began to have serious
|
||||
social problems for reasons that will be made clear later.
|
||||
|
||||
According to the pediatricians who examined me:
|
||||
|
||||
"April 4, 1945... Plays well with other children. ..."
|
||||
|
||||
"May 18, 1950... Healthy boy. Well adjusted. ..."
|
||||
|
||||
"May 8, 1951... Plays well with children in school and
|
||||
neighborhood. Very happy." ⁴
|
||||
|
||||
The doctors could have obtained this information about my
|
||||
social adjustment only from my mother. It was always she,
|
||||
and not my father, who took me to my examinations at the
|
||||
University of Chicago clinics.
|
||||
|
||||
Thus, statements of my mother's that were recorded during
|
||||
my childhood clearly contradict her recent statements
|
||||
concerning my early social development. If she wasn't lying
|
||||
then, she is lying now. Either way, the record shows her to
|
||||
be a liar.
|
||||
|
||||
What then is the truth concerning my social adjustment in
|
||||
early childhood? My mother's reports to doctors carry
|
||||
little weight because, as we will show later, she often did
|
||||
lie in order to present a favorable picture of me to persons
|
||||
outside the immediate family. But since the Baby Book was
|
||||
private there is no particular reason to doubt the
|
||||
statements she made there that show that I was not socially
|
||||
withdrawn.
|
||||
|
||||
It's true that at one point in the Baby Book my mother
|
||||
indicated I was somewhat shy, ⁵ as noted in Chapter I, and
|
||||
I myself have a vague memory of being a little shy up to the
|
||||
age of five or so. Furthermore, I wrote in my 1959
|
||||
autobiography:
|
||||
|
||||
"As far as I can remember, I have always been socially
|
||||
reserved, and used to be rather unpleasantly conscious of
|
||||
the fact. For example, I remember that when I was very
|
||||
little, 3 or 4 years old, I was very concerned over the fact
|
||||
that when my mother bought me an ice cream cone, I was
|
||||
always afraid to take it directly from the lady's hand; my
|
||||
mother had to take it from her and give it to me. Eventually
|
||||
I overcame this. ...
|
||||
|
||||
"I learned to whistle and to swim later than most of my
|
||||
companions,\[text unknown\] did learn to skate. And it
|
||||
often bothered me that I was less socially active than the
|
||||
rest of the boys, which I think was partly due to shyness
|
||||
and partly due to a certain lack of interest in some of
|
||||
their activities. I've always kept to myself a lot." ⁶
|
||||
|
||||
The second paragraph of this passage evidently applies not
|
||||
to my earliest years but to a much later period when I did
|
||||
indeed have social problems. As a result of these problems I
|
||||
began to take a perverse pride in being unsocial, and this
|
||||
is probably what led me to imply (as I did in the first
|
||||
paragraph above) that I was "socially reserved" even in my
|
||||
earliest years.
|
||||
|
||||
But even if that first paragraph is taken at face value,
|
||||
there is plenty of evidence to show that my social
|
||||
interaction with other children was easily within the normal
|
||||
range until my real problems began in early adolescence. As
|
||||
we saw in Chapter I, my mother indicated in the Baby Book
|
||||
that at the age of one year I was consistently friendly to
|
||||
other children:
|
||||
|
||||
"*Is he usually shy or friendly with strange women*? either
|
||||
*men*? either *children*? friendly... ." ⁵
|
||||
|
||||
From age one to three I developed a close friendship with
|
||||
Adam Ks., a boy about eight months older than I was. The
|
||||
attachment left a long-lasting impression on both of us. He
|
||||
was the son of the couple who occupied the first floor of
|
||||
the house of which my parents and I had the second story;
|
||||
when we moved to another house I was separated from him. ⁷
|
||||
|
||||
In the new house we again occupied the second story, and
|
||||
with the little girl downstairs, Barbara P., I formed
|
||||
another strong attachment, ⁸ though it was not as strong
|
||||
as my attachment to Adam. During this same period (age 3 to
|
||||
4) I had at least one other frequent playmate, whose name,
|
||||
if I remember correctly, was Jackie. ⁹
|
||||
|
||||
Shortly before my fifth birthday we moved to a house on
|
||||
Carpenter Street (the first house that my parents owned),
|
||||
¹⁰ and from that time until I entered Harvard I always had
|
||||
several friends. My friends on Carpenter Street included
|
||||
Johnny Kr., Bobby Th., Freddie Do., Jimmy Bu., Larry La.,
|
||||
and Mary Kay Fy. ¹¹ As long as we lived on Carpenter
|
||||
Street, I attended Sherman School, a unit of the Chicago
|
||||
public-school system. All of my friends on Carpenter Street
|
||||
either attended the Catholic school or were a year older
|
||||
than I was, so that they were in a different grade.
|
||||
Consequently my school friends were not the same as those
|
||||
with whom I played near home. My school friends included
|
||||
Frank Ho., Terry La C., Rosario (an Italian kid whose last
|
||||
name I do not remember) and Peter Ma. ¹²
|
||||
|
||||
I not only had friends but, on a few occasions, exercised
|
||||
leadership. For example, I once came up with the idea of
|
||||
putting on a "carnival," as we called it. I persuaded
|
||||
Johnny Kr. and Bobby Th. to help me arrange games and simple
|
||||
entertainments, and after advertising the event by word of
|
||||
mouth for several days we made up tickets by hand, sold them
|
||||
to neighborhood kids, and made a modest profit. ¹³
|
||||
|
||||
Thus there is no truth in my mother's portrayal of me as
|
||||
abnormally solitary from early childhood. There was no need
|
||||
for her to "invite children from the neighborhood over to
|
||||
play," ¹⁴ nor did she ever do so during these years as
|
||||
far as I can remember.
|
||||
|
||||
The first indication of any significant social difficulties
|
||||
on my part came when I was perhaps eight or nine years old,
|
||||
¹⁵ and it very likely resulted from the fact that our
|
||||
family was different from its neighbors. My father worked
|
||||
with his hands all his life; my mother, apart from teaching
|
||||
high school English for two years during her fifties, never
|
||||
did anything more demanding than lower-level secretarial
|
||||
work; and our family always lived among working-class and
|
||||
lower-middle class people. Yet my parents always regarded
|
||||
themselves as a cut above their neighbors. They had
|
||||
intellectual pretensions, and though their own intellectual
|
||||
attainments were extremely modest, to say the least, they -
|
||||
especially my mother - looked down on their neighbors as
|
||||
"ignorant." (But they were usually careful not to reveal
|
||||
their snobbish attitudes outside the family.) ¹⁶
|
||||
|
||||
Our block of Carpenter Street was part of a working-class
|
||||
neighborhood that was just one step above the slums. As my
|
||||
playmates grew older, some of them began engaging in behavior
|
||||
that approached or crossed the line dividing acceptable
|
||||
childhood mischief from delinquency. ¹⁷ For example, two of
|
||||
them got into trouble for trying to set fire to someone's
|
||||
garage. ¹⁵ I had been trained to a much more exacting
|
||||
standard of behavior and wouldn't participate in the other
|
||||
kids' mischief. ¹⁸ Once, for instance, I was with a bunch
|
||||
of neighborhood kids who waited in ambush for an old
|
||||
rag-picker, pelted him with garbage when he came past, and
|
||||
then ran away. I stood back in the rear and refused to
|
||||
participate, and immediately afterward I went home and told
|
||||
my mother what had happened, because I was shocked at such
|
||||
disrespect being shown to an adult - even if he was only a
|
||||
rag-picker. ¹⁹
|
||||
|
||||
So it may be that the reason why I ceased to be fully
|
||||
accepted by my Carpenter-Street playmates at around the age
|
||||
of eight or nine was that they saw me as too much of a
|
||||
"good boy." In any case they did seem to lose interest in
|
||||
my companionship - I was no longer one of the bunch. ²⁰ I
|
||||
continued to get along well with the kids in school. ²¹
|
||||
Unlike the kids on my block they showed no tendency to
|
||||
serious mischief, either because they were better-behaved
|
||||
kids or because the supervised environment of school left
|
||||
few opportunities for misbehavior.
|
||||
|
||||
My parents noticed the fact that I was becoming isolated
|
||||
from my Carpenter-Street friends, and they repeatedly
|
||||
expressed to me their concern that there might be something
|
||||
wrong with me because I was not social enough. ¹⁵ To me it
|
||||
was acutely humiliating to be pushed out to the fringe by
|
||||
these kids with whom I had formerly associated on an equal
|
||||
basis, and I was too ashamed to tell my parents what was
|
||||
really happening, or even to admit it to myself until many
|
||||
years later. My mother invented an explanation for my
|
||||
isolation that was consistent with her intellectual
|
||||
pretensions: I wasn't playing with the other kids because I
|
||||
was so much smarter than they were that they bored me. This
|
||||
was absurd. I was bored with the other kids when (as often
|
||||
happened) they moped around aimlessly rather than pursuing
|
||||
some activity, but there can be no doubt that I wanted to
|
||||
continue playing with them and was deeply hurt by the fact
|
||||
that I was no longer fully accepted. Yet, because my
|
||||
mother's explanation soothed my vanity, I half-believed it
|
||||
myself. In a very brief (one and a quarter-page)
|
||||
autobiographical sketch that I wrote at the age of fifteen,
|
||||
I said:
|
||||
|
||||
"Beginning in the second or third grade I began to become
|
||||
somewhat unsocial, keeping to myself and seeking the
|
||||
companionship of my comrades less often. This was probably
|
||||
due, in part, to the level of education and culture in my
|
||||
old neighborhood, where no one was interested in science,
|
||||
art, or books." ²²
|
||||
|
||||
Actually, I wasn't so terribly interested in science, art,
|
||||
or books myself. The autobiographical sketch was part of an
|
||||
application for admission to Harvard and therefore was
|
||||
written under the close supervision of my mother. Rereading
|
||||
it now I feel almost certain that the first paragraph of it
|
||||
was actually composed by her. That paragraph is written in a
|
||||
kind of language that I rarely use now and that I can hardly
|
||||
imagine myself having used at the age of fifteen; but it's
|
||||
just the sort of thing that my mother would write. ²³
|
||||
|
||||
I'm quite sure that my partial isolation from the
|
||||
Carpenter-Street kids did not begin before I was eight, at
|
||||
the earliest, and that I had no serious problems with the
|
||||
kids in school at the time. Yet the sketch refers to "the
|
||||
second or third grade," which would make me seven or eight
|
||||
years old. Possibly my mother's hand is seen here too.
|
||||
|
||||
Notwithstanding all of the foregoing, I think my parents had
|
||||
an inkling of the fact that the bad behavior of the other
|
||||
kids had something to do with my isolation. Not long after
|
||||
my tenth birthday we moved to Evergreen Park, a suburb of
|
||||
Chicago, and my mother told me many years later that she and
|
||||
my father had decided to move mainly so that I "would have
|
||||
some decent kids to play with." Though my mother is hardly
|
||||
a reliable source of information, her statement is probably
|
||||
true in part; yet it's likely that there were also other
|
||||
reasons for the move. Not far from where we lived, a case
|
||||
of "block-busting" ²⁴ gave rise to some very serious
|
||||
race-riots that were essentially territorial conflicts
|
||||
between the black and the white working class. All white
|
||||
householders in the area were put under pressure to place in
|
||||
their windows a small sign saying, "This property is not
|
||||
for sale," which was intended as a show of white solidarity
|
||||
against black "intrusion." My parents had very liberal
|
||||
attitudes about race and felt that it was against their
|
||||
principles to put up such a sign. But they received a
|
||||
threat, and, fearing that I might be attacked on my way to
|
||||
school, they gave in and placed the sign. ²⁵ This was
|
||||
extremely upsetting to them and it must have contributed to
|
||||
their decision to move out to the suburbs.
|
||||
|
||||
\* \* \* \* \*
|
||||
|
||||
Meanwhile, when I was a bit less than seven-and-a-half years
|
||||
old, I had acquired a baby brother. My brother David for
|
||||
many years has argued that I unconsciously hate him because
|
||||
the attention that my parents devoted to him on his arrival
|
||||
made me feel deprived of their affection. ²⁶
|
||||
|
||||
The *New York Times* quoted my aunt Josephine Manney, née
|
||||
Kaczynski, as follows:
|
||||
|
||||
" 'Before David was born, Teddy was different,' the aunt
|
||||
said. 'When they'd visit he'd snuggle up to me. Then, when
|
||||
David was born, something must have happened. He changed
|
||||
immediately. Maybe we paid too much attention to the new
|
||||
baby.' " ²⁷
|
||||
|
||||
Little did my aunt Josephine know the *real* reason why I
|
||||
stopped snuggling up to her! I'll explain in a moment. But
|
||||
first let me make it clear that I'd never heard anything of
|
||||
this sort from Josephine before I read the *New York Times*
|
||||
article, and it's evident that my brother never heard it
|
||||
either, since, in our discussions of his theory about my
|
||||
reaction to his birth, he never mentioned any such statement
|
||||
on the part of our aunt; nor did he ever cite any other
|
||||
rational evidence in support of his theory. The theory,
|
||||
apparently, grew entirely out of his own imagination.
|
||||
|
||||
As to the real reason why I stopped snuggling up to my aunt:
|
||||
Josephine was a good-looking woman; though she was over
|
||||
forty at the time of my brother's birth, she'd kept herself
|
||||
in shape and was still attractive. I don't know whether it
|
||||
was normal or precocious, but by the age of about seven I
|
||||
already had a fairly strong interest in the female body. ²⁸
|
||||
Not long after my brother's birth, my family and I visited
|
||||
the apartment where Josephine lived with her mother (my
|
||||
paternal grandmother). My aunt and I were sitting on a
|
||||
couch, and, attracted by her breasts, I slid over against
|
||||
her, put my arm over her shoulder, and said, "Let's play
|
||||
girlfriend." Josephine laughed and put her arm around me,
|
||||
and I had the decided satisfaction of feeling her breast
|
||||
against my body. My aunt just thought it was cute, but my
|
||||
mother was sharp enough to see what was really going on.
|
||||
After a short interval she said, "I think I'll go to the
|
||||
store and get some ice cream" (or maybe it was candy or
|
||||
something else), and she invited me to come with her. I
|
||||
declined, but she insisted that I should come. As soon as
|
||||
she got me out of the house she gave me a tongue-lashing and
|
||||
a lecture on appropriate behavior with ladies. It will not
|
||||
surprise the reader that, from then on, I kept my distance
|
||||
from Josephine.
|
||||
|
||||
To return to my brother's theory that I resented his
|
||||
arrival in the family: He first indicated his suspicion that
|
||||
I unconsciously hated him in a letter to me written some
|
||||
time during the summer of 1982. That letter has not been
|
||||
preserved, but there is a reference to it in a letter that I
|
||||
sent to my brother in 1986. I wrote: "I recall that a few
|
||||
years ago you said you had feared that I had (as you put it)
|
||||
a hatred for you so great that even I was unable to
|
||||
acknowledge it." ²⁹
|
||||
|
||||
In a letter that he wrote to me in 1986, my brother
|
||||
expounded his theory as follows:
|
||||
|
||||
"You should have hated me, in that as a new baby in the
|
||||
family, the new locus of affection, I should have awakened
|
||||
your fears of abandonment. \[My brother is referring here
|
||||
to the alleged "fear of abandonment" that I was supposed
|
||||
to have as a result of "that hospital experience."\] The
|
||||
parents tell me that just the opposite was true, that you
|
||||
were extremely affectionate toward me and that you didn't
|
||||
show any jealousy whatsoever. I have thought of a way to fit
|
||||
this in, by recourse to the Freudian theory of 'Denial.'
|
||||
When you saw the murdered babies in the Nazi camp, it might
|
||||
have awakened your horror as a secret wish fulfillment in
|
||||
respect to me. \[My brother is referring here to a dream
|
||||
that I once had about him, concerning which I will have more
|
||||
to say shortly.\] When you vowed to protect me at the
|
||||
expense of your own life, perhaps the one you vowed to
|
||||
protect me from was *yourself*, I have no idea how much or
|
||||
little truth there may be in this interpretation." ³⁰
|
||||
|
||||
The disclaimer in the last sentence is perhaps disingenuous,
|
||||
as my brother has clung to the theory persistently over the
|
||||
years. According to the *New York Times*, "David said his
|
||||
mother told him that she gradually encouraged Ted to hold
|
||||
him and that 'from that time forward, he showed a great
|
||||
deal of gentleness toward me.' " ³¹ The implication,
|
||||
that I had resented him at first, is contradicted by my
|
||||
brother's own statement, quoted above, that "\[t\]he
|
||||
parents tell me that... you were extremely affectionate
|
||||
toward me and that you didn't show any jealousy
|
||||
whatsoever." It is also contradicted by a statement of my
|
||||
mother's: "Ted seemed to easily accept having a brother in
|
||||
the house, and liked to hold David when he was a baby." ²
|
||||
|
||||
As I remember it, prior to my brother's birth my parents
|
||||
told me repeatedly that the new baby, when it came, would
|
||||
require a great deal of care and attention, and that I must
|
||||
not feel that my parents loved me any less because they were
|
||||
devoting so much time to the baby. When David was born I
|
||||
wondered why my parents had put so much emphasis on this
|
||||
point, because I by no means felt left out or deprived of
|
||||
attention. As I wrote in my 1979 autobiography:
|
||||
|
||||
"My brother David was born when I was 7½. I considered this
|
||||
a pleasant event. I was interested in the baby and enjoyed
|
||||
being allowed to hold it. ...
|
||||
|
||||
"One reads much about 'sibling rivalry' - the older child
|
||||
supposedly resents the new baby because he feels it has
|
||||
robbed him of his parents' affection. I do not recall ever
|
||||
having had any such feeling about my baby brother. ... I
|
||||
think my parents were aware of the problem of 'sibling
|
||||
rivalry' and made a conscious effort to avoid this problem
|
||||
when the new baby came ." ³²
|
||||
|
||||
In those years my parents and I got all our medical care at
|
||||
the University of Chicago teaching hospitals, which were
|
||||
among the finest in America, and the doctors no doubt had
|
||||
talked to my parents about the way to handle my relationship
|
||||
with my new brother.
|
||||
|
||||
Why then does my brother think that I have an intense,
|
||||
unconscious hatred for him? People often attribute their own
|
||||
motives and impulses (including unconscious ones) to other
|
||||
people. Further on in this book we will show that my brother
|
||||
has a hatred for me that he has not acknowledged - probably
|
||||
not even to himself. At the same time he has a strong
|
||||
affection for me, and it appears that he has never faced up
|
||||
to the profound conflict between his love and his hatred. My
|
||||
brother habitually retreats from conflicts rather than
|
||||
struggling with them.
|
||||
|
||||
My feelings toward my brother in his infancy are well
|
||||
illustrated by a dream that I described to him in a letter
|
||||
that I sent him during the summer of 1982. After making some
|
||||
highly critical comments about his character, I wrote:
|
||||
|
||||
"I am going to open to you the window to my soul as I would
|
||||
not open it to anyone else, by telling you two dreams that
|
||||
I've had about you. The first dream is simple. It is one I
|
||||
had more than thirty years ago, when I was maybe 7 or 8
|
||||
years old and you were still a baby in your crib. Some time
|
||||
before, I had seen pictures of starving children in Europe
|
||||
taken shortly after world war II - they were emaciated, with
|
||||
arms like sticks, ribs protruding, and guts hanging out.
|
||||
Well, I dreamed that there was a war in America and I saw
|
||||
you as one of these children, emaciated and starving. It
|
||||
affected me strongly and when I woke up I made up my mind
|
||||
that if there was ever a war in America I would do
|
||||
everything I possibly could to protect you. This illustrates
|
||||
the semi-maternal tenderness that I've often felt for you."
|
||||
³³
|
||||
|
||||
In reply to the foregoing letter my brother wrote to me
|
||||
expressing his gratitude for the affection I had expressed,
|
||||
and for the fact that I "cared for \[him\] more than anyone
|
||||
else ever had." He then added the remark mentioned
|
||||
earlier - that until then he had feared that I had a
|
||||
hatred for him so great that I could not acknowledge it. ³⁴
|
||||
|
||||
I referred to this letter of my brother's in a note that I
|
||||
wrote him in September, 1982:
|
||||
|
||||
"I received your last letter and note that it shows your
|
||||
usual generosity of character. Instead of being sore over
|
||||
the negative parts of my attitude toward you, you were
|
||||
favorably impressed by the positive parts." ³⁵
|
||||
|
||||
My brother does have a good deal of generosity in his
|
||||
character, but I now think that the nature of his reaction
|
||||
to my letter was less a result of generosity than of his
|
||||
tendency to retreat from conflict.
|
||||
|
||||
\* \* \* \* \*
|
||||
|
||||
Not long after my brother's birth my mother's personality
|
||||
began to change. The cause may have been post-partum
|
||||
depression, a hormonal imbalance brought about by her
|
||||
pregnancy, or something else, but, whatever the reason, she
|
||||
began to grow increasingly irritable. ³⁶ The symptoms were
|
||||
relatively mild at first, but they worsened over the next
|
||||
several years so that, by the time I reached my teens, she
|
||||
was having frequent outbursts of rage that express
|
||||
themselves as unrestrained verbal aggression, sometimes
|
||||
accompanied by minor physical aggression ³⁷ (though never
|
||||
enough of the latter to do any physical harm).
|
||||
|
||||
The change in my mother's personality affected my father
|
||||
and brought about a gradual deterioration of the family
|
||||
atmosphere. I described this in a 1986 letter to my brother:
|
||||
|
||||
"You don't realize that the atmosphere in our home was
|
||||
quite different during the first few years of my life than
|
||||
it was later. You know how it was during my teens - people
|
||||
always squabbling, mother crabby and irritable, Dad morosely
|
||||
passive. Too much ice cream, candy, and treats, parents fat
|
||||
and self-indulgent. A generally *low-morale* atmosphere. But
|
||||
it was very different up to the time when I was, say, 8 or 9
|
||||
years old. Until then, the home atmosphere was cheerful,
|
||||
there was hardly any quarrelling, and there was a generally
|
||||
*high-morale* atmosphere. Ice cream and candy were
|
||||
relatively infrequent treats and were consumed in moderation
|
||||
... . Our parents were more alive and energetic. When
|
||||
punishment was necessary it was given with little or no
|
||||
anger and was used as a more-or-less rational means of
|
||||
training; whereas during my teens, when I was punished it
|
||||
was commonly an expression of anger or irritation on the
|
||||
part of our parents. Consequently this punishment was
|
||||
*humiliating*. The more-or-less rational punishment of the
|
||||
early years was not humiliating." ³⁸
|
||||
|
||||
## NOTES TO CHAPTER II
|
||||
|
||||
1. (Hg) *Time*, April 22, 1996, p. 46.
|
||||
|
||||
2. (Ka) Interview of Wanda by Investigator #1, p. 2.
|
||||
|
||||
3. (Hb) *Washington Post*, June 16, 1996.
|
||||
|
||||
4. (Ea) Med Records of TJK, U. Chi.; April 4, 1945, p. 26;
|
||||
May 18, 1950, p. 51; May 8, 1951, p. 51.
|
||||
|
||||
5. (Bc) Baby Book, p. 122.
|
||||
|
||||
6. (Ab) Autobiog of TJK 1959, p. 2.
|
||||
|
||||
7. (Bc) Baby Book, pp. 113, 115; (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979,
|
||||
pp. 1, 2. In (Qb) Written Investigator Report #68, Adam Ks.
|
||||
himself confirms the strength of this friendship. However,
|
||||
much of the information he gives is incorrect.
|
||||
|
||||
8. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 3.
|
||||
|
||||
9. Jackie was the four-year-old boy referred to on p. 1
|
||||
of (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979.
|
||||
|
||||
10. (Ab) Autobiog of TJK 1959, p. 2; (Ac) Autobiog of TJK
|
||||
1979, p. 5; (Ga) Deed #1.
|
||||
|
||||
11. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 5, 6, 10, 11, mentions
|
||||
all these friends by name.
|
||||
|
||||
12. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 6-8 describes my
|
||||
relations with Frank Ho., Terry La C., and Rosario. My
|
||||
friendship with Peter Ma. is not documented.
|
||||
|
||||
13. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 10, 11.
|
||||
|
||||
14. (Ka) Interview of Wanda by Investigator #1, p. 2.
|
||||
|
||||
15. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 12.
|
||||
|
||||
16. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 17, 24, 79; (Na) FBI 302
|
||||
number 2, p. 6.
|
||||
|
||||
17. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 12, 194.
|
||||
|
||||
18. (Ab) Autobiog of TJK 1959, p. 3; (Ac) Autobiog of TJK
|
||||
1979, pp. 12-14, 16, 17, 194; (Ca) FL#458, letter from me
|
||||
to my mother, July 5, 1991, pp. 9, 10.
|
||||
|
||||
19. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 194; (Ca) FL#458, letter
|
||||
from me to my mother, July 5, 1991, pp. 9, 10.
|
||||
"Rag-pickers" were very poor people who made their living,
|
||||
such as it was, by picking through trash to find anything
|
||||
that could be sold as scrap.
|
||||
|
||||
20. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 12; (Ca) FL#458, letter
|
||||
from me to my mother, July 5, 1991, p. 9.
|
||||
|
||||
21. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 12; (Ca) FL#458, letter
|
||||
from me to my mother, July 5, 1991, p. 10.
|
||||
|
||||
22. (Aa) Autobiog of TJK 1958. When, in (Ab) Autobiog of TJK
|
||||
1959, p. 2, I wrote, "I was less socially active than the
|
||||
rest of the boys,... partly due to shyness and partly
|
||||
due to a certain lack of interest in their activities," I
|
||||
probably was still under the influence of my mother's
|
||||
theory that I was bored with other kids because I was
|
||||
smarter.
|
||||
|
||||
23. The first paragraph of this document ((Aa) Autobiog of
|
||||
TJK 1958) reads:
|
||||
|
||||
"My first vague memories are of a golden age of blessed
|
||||
irresponsibility. But the grass is always greener on the
|
||||
other side of the fence, and I suppose at that time I looked
|
||||
forward to the unbounded joys of growing up."
|
||||
|
||||
24. "Block-busting" was a practice whereby unscrupulous
|
||||
realtors would contrive to sell to black people a house on a
|
||||
white-occupied block near black territory. White
|
||||
householders on the block, fearing that they would be left
|
||||
isolated in the midst of a black neighborhood, sold off
|
||||
their property as quickly as possible. Thus the realtors
|
||||
were able to buy houses from whites at reduced prices and
|
||||
sell them again to black families at inflated prices.
|
||||
|
||||
25. This account of the placement of the sign is based in
|
||||
part on what I myself observed at the time, but also in part
|
||||
on what my mother told me many years later. Given my
|
||||
mother's unreliability, it cannot be assumed that the
|
||||
account is strictly accurate.
|
||||
|
||||
26. (Ha) *NY Times Nat*., May 26, 1996, p. 22, column 3;
|
||||
(Ca) FL #330, letter from David Kaczynski to me, March or
|
||||
April, 1986, p. 14; (Ca) FL#331, letter from me to David
|
||||
Kaczynski, April 16, 1986, pp. 3, 4.
|
||||
|
||||
27. (Ha) *NY Times Nat*., May 26, 1996, p. 22, column 3. The
|
||||
*Times* quoted only an "aunt" who preferred to remain
|
||||
anonymous, but the aunt in question is obviously Josephine.
|
||||
I have just four living aunts: Sylvia, Madeline (aunts by
|
||||
marriage), Freda, and Josephine. Sylvia married my uncle
|
||||
Benny when I was in my teens, and I'd never met her before
|
||||
that time; I was never chummy enough with Madeline to
|
||||
"snuggle up" to her; and Freda informed me in (Cb) FL
|
||||
Supplementary item #6, letter from Freda Tuominen to me,
|
||||
July 20, 1996, that she was not the unnamed aunt quoted by
|
||||
the *Times* (which I already knew from the content of the
|
||||
quotations). So that leaves Josephine.
|
||||
|
||||
28. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 11, 20.
|
||||
|
||||
29. (Ca) FL #331, letter from me to David Kaczynski, April
|
||||
16, 1986, p. 4.
|
||||
|
||||
30. (Ca) FL #330, letter from David Kaczynski to the author,
|
||||
March or April, 1986, p. 14.
|
||||
|
||||
31. (Ha) *NY Times Nat.*, May 26, 1996, p. 22, column 3. In
|
||||
this same column we find:
|
||||
|
||||
"David said his parents told him about how his father,
|
||||
grandmother and Teddy had gone to the hospital after his
|
||||
birth. ... 'So my father and grandmother left Ted in the
|
||||
lobby and went up to visit me,' he said, 'When they all
|
||||
went down to the lobby... he was sitting there alone in
|
||||
tears and very deeply upset.'" I don't remember any such
|
||||
incident, and I doubt that it happened. My brother is very
|
||||
prone to get his facts garbled.
|
||||
|
||||
32. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 17,18.
|
||||
|
||||
33. (Ca) FL #266, letter from me to David Kaczynski, Summer,
|
||||
1982, pp. 5, 6. I described the dream in nearly identical
|
||||
terms in (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 17, 18, and added
|
||||
that "I felt a sense of pity and love toward my
|
||||
brother... ."
|
||||
|
||||
Characteristically, my brother got the dream garbled in
|
||||
the 1986 letter of his that we quoted a few pages back:
|
||||
"When you saw the murdered babies in the Nazi camp... When
|
||||
you vowed to protect me at the expense of your own
|
||||
life... ." (See Note 30 above.) Compare this with the
|
||||
correct account of the dream. Later we will see other
|
||||
instances in which my brother has gotten his facts garbled.
|
||||
|
||||
34. This letter has not been preserved, and I am
|
||||
relying here on memory and on the 1986 letter in which I
|
||||
mentioned the remark about "great hatred." See Note 29
|
||||
above.
|
||||
|
||||
35. (Ca) FL #271, letter from me to David Kaczynski,
|
||||
September, 1982, p. 2.
|
||||
|
||||
36. (Ca) FL #458, letter from me to my mother, July 5, 1991,
|
||||
p. 9. (Ca) FL #423, letter from me to my mother, January 15,
|
||||
1991, pp. 4, 5: "I always felt you were a good mother to me
|
||||
during my early years. It was when I was around 8 years old
|
||||
that your behavior and the family atmosphere began to
|
||||
deteriorate, and it was during my teens that I was subjected
|
||||
to constant, cutting insults such as imputations of
|
||||
immaturity or mental illness." My Xerox copy of the copy of
|
||||
this letter that I mailed to my mother is illegible in
|
||||
places. Therefore, for one line of the foregoing quotation I
|
||||
had to refer to p. 2 of the copy of this letter that I kept
|
||||
in my cabin.
|
||||
|
||||
37. Example of minor physical aggression is given in (Ac)
|
||||
Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 47 (throwing saucepan).
|
||||
|
||||
38. (Ca) FL #339, letter from me to David Kaczynski, May,
|
||||
1986, pp. 3, 4. A similar account is given in (Ac) Autobiog
|
||||
of TJK 1979, pp. 38, 39. For confirmation see (Ca) FL#458,
|
||||
letter from me to my mother, July 5, 1991, p. 9. (Ab)
|
||||
Autobiog of TJK 1959, p. 5, has: "My relationship with my
|
||||
parents used to be generally affectionate, but the last few
|
||||
years it has deteriorated considerably... ."
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,471 @@
|
|||
## NOTES TO INTRODUCTION
|
||||
|
||||
1. (Hp) Daily Oklahoman, June 12, 1995.
|
||||
|
||||
2. Envelope X; see the three sheets marked with a green
|
||||
letter A at the top.
|
||||
|
||||
3. I am considering here only (Qb) Written Investigator
|
||||
Reports. I am leaving out of consideration (Kb) Lincoln
|
||||
Interviews, of which I have made very little use in this
|
||||
book, and which I have not taken the trouble to tabulate;
|
||||
except to the extent that some of the Lincoln interviews
|
||||
also occur among the Written Investigator Reports.
|
||||
|
||||
I am considering here only the Written Investigator
|
||||
Reports that I have received as of March 6, 1998. If I
|
||||
receive more such reports later, I will not bother to
|
||||
change the tabulation.
|
||||
|
||||
4. To experimental psychologists, "long-term" memory
|
||||
means any memory spanning more than thirty seconds. But here
|
||||
I use the expression "long-term" to indicate memories of
|
||||
events that have occurred years or decades in the past.
|
||||
|
||||
I have often been surprised to find that other people
|
||||
have failed to remember things that I remember quite
|
||||
clearly. Here is an example:
|
||||
|
||||
When I took German R at Harvard I sat next to a student
|
||||
named Kostinski. We had similar last names and we were the
|
||||
two best students in the class; he was best and I was
|
||||
second-best. Nine or ten years later when I was at Berkeley,
|
||||
in a building that contained the offices of some of the math
|
||||
department's junior faculty and graduate students, I
|
||||
encountered Kostinski, who was pacing back and forth
|
||||
absorbed in thought. I accosted him, saying, "Weren't you
|
||||
in German R at Harvard?" He looked at me blankly. "German
|
||||
R...?" To prod his memory I mentioned the instructor's
|
||||
name. "Miss Dreimanis." Kostinski broke into a broad smile
|
||||
and exclaimed, "Oh! Were you in that class?" I chatted
|
||||
with him for a few minutes, and he told me that he was a
|
||||
graduate student in the math department and was working on
|
||||
his doctoral dissertation. "I thought you were pre-med," I
|
||||
said. He answered, "I was, but I switched to math." Thus I
|
||||
correctly recalled Kostinski's name, his face, and the
|
||||
career he'd planned at the time I knew him, while he did
|
||||
not remember me at all, nor did he remember the designation
|
||||
of Miss Dreimanis's course (German R).
|
||||
|
||||
I am relying on memory for this thirty-year-old
|
||||
anecdote, but any reader who is sufficiently interested can
|
||||
check it out. It shouldn't be very difficult to determine
|
||||
whether the Berkeley math department in 1967, 1968, or 1969
|
||||
had a graduate student named Kostinski who had taken German
|
||||
R at Harvard in the fall of 1958 and got an A in it.
|
||||
|
||||
5. Investigators #2 and #6 told me this at least three
|
||||
times during 1996 and early 1997. In the fall of 1997 I
|
||||
asked for confirmation and received it orally (Qa). Oral
|
||||
Report From Investigator #2, November 10, 1997 reads: "My
|
||||
long-term memory is unusually accurate - confirmed by
|
||||
\[Investigator #2\] and \[his/her\] investigators who
|
||||
asked Investigator #2 for written confirmation and he/she
|
||||
gave me the following:
|
||||
|
||||
"Ted appears to have a good long term memory. Many
|
||||
people who have been interviewed have concurred with Ted's
|
||||
recollection of certain events. For example, Ted recalled
|
||||
that in college he had a classmate X\_\_\_\_Y\_\_\_\_, who
|
||||
rocked back and forth and Prof. Y\_\_\_\_ confirmed this
|
||||
account. \[Actually I remembered only the first name of this
|
||||
classmate; I'm not sure I ever knew his last name.\] Ted
|
||||
has been able to recall names of teachers and people he knew
|
||||
from over thirty years ago as well as addresses, dates of
|
||||
birth and literature from childhood. \[I don't know what
|
||||
dates of birth or literature Investigator #2 is referring
|
||||
to.\] He has also recalled floor plans of residences and
|
||||
accurate maps of campuses that he hasn't been at in over
|
||||
thirty years \['accurate maps of campuses' should be
|
||||
deleted\]." (Qc) Written Reports by Investigator #2, p.2.
|
||||
|
||||
I pointed out to Investigator #2 that "Ted appears to
|
||||
have a good long term memory" was a considerably weaker
|
||||
statement than the ones he/she had earlier given me orally.
|
||||
Investigator #2 agreed, said that the earlier, stronger
|
||||
statements were correct, and changed his/her written report
|
||||
to read: "Ted has a remarkably good long term memory. ..."
|
||||
(Qc) Written Reports by Investigator #2, p.2.
|
||||
|
||||
6. (Ca) FL#423, letter from me to my mother, January 15,
|
||||
1991, pp. 6,7: "What I especially hope you haven't thrown
|
||||
out is some old letters of mine. ... I'm interested in
|
||||
the accuracy of long-term memory. ... So I'd appreciate
|
||||
it if you could send me either the letters, or photocopies
|
||||
of them... . If it is not convenient for you to crawl up in
|
||||
the attic to rummage around for the letters, then of course
|
||||
you need not do so." (Ca) FL#424, letter from my mother to
|
||||
me, late January, 1991: "I'm too short and stiff to be able
|
||||
to climb safely into the attic... . *However*, I did find
|
||||
a box full of letters from you in your foot locker. ...
|
||||
I'll send you the box full... ."
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
My mother did send me these letters, which comprised
|
||||
almost all of the letters from me that she'd saved from
|
||||
about 1968 through the 1980's, but I never even got around
|
||||
to glancing at them before my arrest. Later, when I was in
|
||||
jail, I was given copies of these letters as well as the
|
||||
older letters (1957-1968) that had been stored in the attic,
|
||||
and other letters written by or to members of my family.
|
||||
|
||||
It is because the past is important to me that I have been
|
||||
interested in the accuracy of long-term memory.
|
||||
|
||||
7. (Fc) School Records of TJK, Harvard, p.81.
|
||||
|
||||
8. Same, pp. 37, 38.
|
||||
|
||||
9. "Ren" is meant as an abbreviation for "Renaissance
|
||||
thought and literature."
|
||||
|
||||
10. "hum gen" is an abbreviation for "human genetics."
|
||||
|
||||
11. "Eng intel hist" is an abbreviation for "English
|
||||
intellectual history."
|
||||
|
||||
12. I can think of two exceptions. For one thing, I
|
||||
remembered incorrectly where my mother got her bachelor's
|
||||
degree. For another thing, my investigators mentioned to me
|
||||
that someone had talked about my carrying a briefcase in
|
||||
high school. I answered that I had carried a briefcase in
|
||||
eighth grade, but not in high school. The investigators then
|
||||
pointed out that in 1979 I still remembered carrying a
|
||||
briefcase in high school, since I recorded in my
|
||||
autobiography an incident involving a briefcase.
|
||||
Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 28. Since I clearly remembered the
|
||||
briefcase in 1979, I agreed that they were right.
|
||||
Thinking the matter over later, I thought I remembered it
|
||||
as a result of having been needled for carrying a briefcase
|
||||
in eighth grade I had decided not to use one in
|
||||
high school, and did not use one in my freshman and my
|
||||
sophomore years, but went back to carrying a
|
||||
briefcase in my third and last year of high school. Since I
|
||||
recalled that the briefcase incident had happened in
|
||||
American History class, I concluded that I must have had
|
||||
that class in my last-year of high school. I then checked my
|
||||
high school record and found that this was correct. (Fb)
|
||||
School Records of TJK, E.P. High School.
|
||||
|
||||
13. I remembered the name of Joel S.'s sister as Gloria,
|
||||
but Joel S. told my investigators that her sister's name
|
||||
was Diane. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #124, Joel S.,
|
||||
p.2.
|
||||
|
||||
More significantly, when I wrote my autobiographical
|
||||
notes in 1979, I remembered that my mother had given my
|
||||
address to the daughter of a couple who were friends of
|
||||
my parents because she thought that the young lady and I
|
||||
had common interests and she hoped we would get together.
|
||||
This would have made no sense unless the young lady was
|
||||
living in or near Ann Arbor, where I was at the time; but
|
||||
she told my investigators that she had never lived in Ann
|
||||
Arbor. So it seems that my memory of what my mother wrote
|
||||
me was wrong. (Unless it was my mother who got the facts
|
||||
garbled, which is possible.) See (Ac) Autobiog of TJK
|
||||
1979, p. 150.
|
||||
|
||||
14. For an example see (Ad) Autobiog of TJK 1988 (corrected
|
||||
version), pp. 13, 14.
|
||||
|
||||
15. (Qc) Written Reports by Investigator #2, p.5.
|
||||
|
||||
16. For example, in (Qb) Written Investigator Reports #34,
|
||||
47, 59, 60, 82, 85, 124, 146, 154, 161, among others.
|
||||
|
||||
17. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #154, Leroy
|
||||
Weinberg, p.2.
|
||||
|
||||
18. When I was a teenager, my mother told me that old Mrs.
|
||||
Butcher, who lived next door to the V.'s, had said to her
|
||||
that I was *such* a nice boy, because I always returned her
|
||||
greeting when I passed her, whereas Norma Jean V. often
|
||||
failed to return her greeting and walked on by without
|
||||
looking at her.
|
||||
|
||||
19. (Qb) Written Investigator Report, #47, Dr. L.Hz.
|
||||
|
||||
20. (Kb) Lincoln Interviews, p. 18. I remember a good deal
|
||||
of what I talked about with R.Cb. and Dr. L.Hz. On one
|
||||
occasion the patient who preceded me left in a bad mood,
|
||||
and, because R.Cb. had a suspicion that this man might be a
|
||||
wife-beater, she phoned his wife and warned her that her
|
||||
husband was coming home upset. That got us onto the subject
|
||||
of domestic abuse. I mentioned that some studies had found
|
||||
that there was about as much physical abuse of husbands by
|
||||
wives as vice versa. Dr. L.Hz. answered that the wives
|
||||
probably didn't do much damage because they weren't strong
|
||||
enough. "I've had women pound on me," he said, "and it
|
||||
didn't bother me." I replied, "Some women are strong
|
||||
enough to hit hard." R.Cb. agreed, and mentioned a local
|
||||
woman who had knocked some man down. I said that some time
|
||||
earlier I had read an article in a news magazine (probably
|
||||
*Time*) about domestic abuse. I mentioned that the article
|
||||
had taken the same position as Dr. L.Hz.: Because women were
|
||||
smaller they probably didn't do much damage. But, I
|
||||
continued, in the next issue of the same magazine there was
|
||||
a letter from an emergency-room doctor who said that in his
|
||||
experience women often did plenty of damage, because they
|
||||
were more likely than men to use weapons; he mentioned
|
||||
husbands who had been slashed with an axe or scalded with
|
||||
boiling water. As the conversation continued I asked R.Cb.
|
||||
and Dr. L.Hz., "Why do they \[the abused women\] marry
|
||||
jerks like that?" R.Cb. and Dr. L.Hz. answered, "Low
|
||||
self-esteem; maybe their fathers abused them and they think
|
||||
that's a normal relationship...\[etc.\]." Either R.Cb.
|
||||
or Dr. L.Hz. mentioned something about a television program
|
||||
on the subject.
|
||||
|
||||
On other occasions Dr. LHz. and I talked about the
|
||||
soluble compounds of gold, about gypsum, plaster of Paris,
|
||||
and Portland cement, and other subjects, and I could go on
|
||||
and on recounting the details of these conversations, but I
|
||||
think I've said enough to show that Dr. L.Hz's claim that
|
||||
I was so quiet as to seem odd is ludicrous.
|
||||
|
||||
21. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #34, Dale
|
||||
Eickelman, pp. 4,5. It is my sophomore year in college, not
|
||||
high school, that is referred to, since Professor Eickelman
|
||||
correctly states that I visited his home during the summer
|
||||
following my freshman year at Harvard.
|
||||
|
||||
22. The eight are Larry S., Bob C., Barbara B., Jerry U.,
|
||||
Bob Pe., Tom Kn., G.Da., Terry L. Six of these eight
|
||||
friendships are documented, but four are documented only by
|
||||
my own autobiographies. Two have been confirmed
|
||||
independently (Bob Pe. by Bob Pe. himself, Tom Kn. by
|
||||
Tom Kn.'s mother). For references see Chapter III, pp. 79,
|
||||
87, 88, and associated footnotes. Of the other friends, my
|
||||
investigators spoke only to one: G.Da., who neither
|
||||
confirmed nor denied that I was good friends with him. (Qb)
|
||||
Written Investigator Report #28, G.Da. Actually I was close
|
||||
to G.Da. only during one school year. With Jerry U. I was
|
||||
friends from seventh or eighth grade through the summer
|
||||
following my first year at Harvard; with the others I was
|
||||
friends for shorter periods. Jerry U., Bob Pe., and Tom Kn.
|
||||
visited my home, and I visited their homes, on multiple
|
||||
occasions. I visited the homes of Bob C., G.Da., and Terry L.
|
||||
on various occasions, but I don't clearly remember that any
|
||||
of them visited my home. I took two extended excursions with
|
||||
Bob C. In a letter written in 1958, my mother confirmed that
|
||||
I had several friends: (Fc) School Records of TJK,
|
||||
Harvard, p. 18.
|
||||
|
||||
23. One reason why Eickelman never encountered any friends
|
||||
at my house and why I never brought any friends to his house
|
||||
was that I never much liked him. In fact, I thought
|
||||
he was somewhat of a creep: (Ac) Autobiog of TJK \[text
|
||||
unknown\] intended to spend time with him only when he
|
||||
thrust himself on me \[text unknown\] think of nothing
|
||||
better to do. Thus, if I had had a friend with me, and if
|
||||
Eickelman had phoned to suggest that we get together, I
|
||||
probably would have put him off with some excuse.
|
||||
(Since our homes were so far apart, Eickelman and I
|
||||
generally phoned before visiting one another.)
|
||||
|
||||
In his interview with my investigators, (Qb) Written
|
||||
Investigator Report #34, p.2, Professor Eickelman related a
|
||||
particularly grotesque anecdote about me. Since he may have
|
||||
related the same anecdote to the FBI, and since the Justice
|
||||
Department has a habit of leaking things about my case, I
|
||||
had better take this opportunity to state that the anecdote
|
||||
is false. Anyone who knows my mother at all well knows that
|
||||
I would never have dared to do such a thing in her presence.
|
||||
If I had done it she would have been horrified beyond all
|
||||
description; when we got home I would have received a
|
||||
vicious tongue-lashing and I wouldn't have heard the end of
|
||||
it for months afterward.
|
||||
|
||||
Professor Eickelman's memory is playing some trick on
|
||||
him here. He is perhaps recalling something that either he
|
||||
or I did not in my mother's presence but under very private
|
||||
circumstances. I could give a plausible explanation for this
|
||||
recollection of Professor Eickelman's, but I will refrain
|
||||
from doing so because I am not anxious to reveal information
|
||||
that would cause embarrassment both to me and to Professor
|
||||
Eickelman.
|
||||
|
||||
24. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #157, G. and D.W., p.4.
|
||||
|
||||
25. (Ba) Journals of TJK, Series III #5, March 26,
|
||||
1975, pp. 32-36.
|
||||
|
||||
26. (Ca) FL #154, letter from me to my parents, late March,
|
||||
1975, pp. 2,3. Both in this letter and in the journal entry
|
||||
it is mentioned that Pinkston talked to me about the KGB in
|
||||
a low tone, so that G.Wi. couldn't hear. However, as we were
|
||||
driving back down off the mountain I told G.Wi. about what
|
||||
Pinkston had said to me. Moreover, the next spring (1975),
|
||||
G.Wi. met Pinkston up on the mountain again, and later told
|
||||
me that Pinkston was a nice, helpful fellow, "but he did
|
||||
talk a little bit about the KGB." It was on this second
|
||||
meeting that G.Wi. learned Pinkston's name. Some time later
|
||||
he told me that Pinkston had died. I understand that Larry
|
||||
Davis, the local game warden for the Lincoln area at the
|
||||
time, had been bringing groceries up to Pinkston, and it's
|
||||
possible he may be able to confirm some of this information.
|
||||
|
||||
27. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #87, Russell Mosny
|
||||
1996, p.1.
|
||||
|
||||
28. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 25.
|
||||
|
||||
29. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #30, L.D., p.2.
|
||||
|
||||
30. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p.21.
|
||||
|
||||
31. (Da) Ralph Meister's Declaration, p. 2, paragraph 7.
|
||||
|
||||
32. Same, pp. 2,3, paragraphs 8-10.
|
||||
|
||||
33. For example, (Qb) Written Investigator Reports #6, K.B.,
|
||||
p.1; #134, Lois Skillen, p.8; #152, E. Wr., p.3. Also see
|
||||
Note 57.
|
||||
|
||||
34. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #151, Chris Waits. (Hj)
|
||||
*Blackfoot Valley Dispatch*, January 29, 1998, February 5(?),
|
||||
1998, February 12, 1998.
|
||||
|
||||
35. (Qb) Written Investigator Reports.
|
||||
|
||||
36. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #79, Patrick
|
||||
McIntosh, p.1.
|
||||
|
||||
37. Same, p.5.
|
||||
|
||||
38. Same, p.6.
|
||||
|
||||
39. Same, p.8.
|
||||
|
||||
40. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #77, John Masters, p.1.
|
||||
|
||||
41. Same, p.3.
|
||||
|
||||
42. Same, pp. 3, 4.
|
||||
|
||||
43. Same, p.5.
|
||||
|
||||
44. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #98, W.Pr., pp. 4, 5.
|
||||
|
||||
45. Same, p.5.
|
||||
|
||||
46. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #28, G.Da., p.4.
|
||||
|
||||
47. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #104, Roger
|
||||
Podewell, p.3.
|
||||
|
||||
48. Jeanne En. lists these as the usual participants. See
|
||||
(Qb) Written Investigator Report #33, K.H. and
|
||||
Jeanne En., p.13. Dale Es. lists the usual participants as
|
||||
himself, my brother, my parents, David and Shirley Hbr. (Qb)
|
||||
Written Investigator Report #32, Dale Es., p.7. I had never
|
||||
heard of David and Shirley Hbr. until I read this report. At
|
||||
the one colloquium I attended, the participants were those
|
||||
I've listed.
|
||||
|
||||
49. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #32, Dale Es., pp. 7,8.
|
||||
|
||||
50. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #33, K.H. and Jeanne
|
||||
En., pp. 14, 15.
|
||||
|
||||
51. Same, p.10.
|
||||
|
||||
52. (Ca) FL #293, letter from David Kaczynski to me, October
|
||||
1 or 2, 1984.
|
||||
|
||||
In reference to the attitudes that my brother and the
|
||||
En.'s held toward me at the time of Dan's suicide, it may be
|
||||
worthwhile to quote also another letter of my brother's.
|
||||
At some point during 1984, knowing that my brother was going
|
||||
to visit K.H. and Jeanne, I sent him in care of them three
|
||||
cartoons that I had drawn, with some humorous commentary in
|
||||
Spanish. In reply Dave wrote me (Ca) FL #289, Summer,
|
||||
1984, pp. 2-4:
|
||||
|
||||
"I ended up having to translate your long letter...
|
||||
\[It was\] well worth it in light of the jokes which dawned
|
||||
on us in the process. I gathered that in your historiography
|
||||
of boasts there was somewhat of a serious message as well.
|
||||
Your humor is so inventive and so highly original that I
|
||||
never cease to marvel at it, while at the same time finding
|
||||
it a pity that it's restricted to such a small audience.
|
||||
You asked me once whether K.H. and Jeanne are in any way
|
||||
capable of being offended by coarse humor. Now I can tell
|
||||
you that \[K.H.\] enjoyed the two cartoons which might have
|
||||
been considered coarse immensely, whereas Jeanne's
|
||||
reaction seemed rather complicated. ... \[S\]he pointed
|
||||
out some very artful touches in your cartoons. And I found
|
||||
myself very much in agreement with her. Have you ever
|
||||
thought of trying to sell your cartoons to magazines? ...
|
||||
I honestly and I believe without \[text unknown\] cartoons
|
||||
on the average the most interesting I\'ve ever seen.\"
|
||||
|
||||
This does not contradict in any specific way what K.H.
|
||||
and Jeanne told the investigators about me, but it doesn't
|
||||
comport very well with the image of me that they conveyed.
|
||||
|
||||
53. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #33, K.H. and
|
||||
Jeanne En., pp. 7-10.
|
||||
|
||||
54. (Ca) FL #304, letter from me to David Kaczynski, late
|
||||
spring or summer of 1985, p.1: "I was amused by the Mexican
|
||||
comic book. (But you should have included a critical
|
||||
analysis by \[K.H. En.\] explaining the hidden philosophical
|
||||
messages.)"
|
||||
|
||||
(Ca) FL #220, letter from me to David Kaczynski, August
|
||||
28, 1979, p.2:
|
||||
|
||||
"\[K.H.\] sent me a copy of a 'Red Sonja\*' comic
|
||||
book (footnote: \*An absurd female hero), asserting that
|
||||
'to imaginative minds it drips of philosophical lessons.'
|
||||
|
||||
"In reply I sent him \[mimicking Nietzsche's style\]:
|
||||
|
||||
"'I have no time** to listen to thy teaching,
|
||||
Zarathustra,' said the small man, 'For I must mow my lawn
|
||||
and tend my melons; I have no time to listen to prophecies.
|
||||
I have no time to be an arrow of longing for the farther
|
||||
shore.' (footnote: \*\*\[K.H.\] wrote that he would read
|
||||
some Nietsche \[sic\], except that he had no time because
|
||||
he was too busy mowing his lawn, tending \[melons; the rest
|
||||
of this footnote is cut off on the Xerox copy that I have.\].)
|
||||
|
||||
"'How then,' answered Zarathustra, 'hast thou time to
|
||||
read the book of a naked harlot pretending to be a hero?
|
||||
Knowest thou not that a dark cloud hangs over men and that
|
||||
even now are falling one by one the heavy drops that herald
|
||||
the lighting? What then signify thy lawnmower and thy
|
||||
melons? Verily, thou art become as the last man.' Thus
|
||||
spake Zarathustra. - Nietsche \[sic\], *Zarathustra*, part
|
||||
5." (The footnotes were in the original letter. According
|
||||
to Nietzsche, the "last man" is a despicable and
|
||||
degenerate human type.)
|
||||
|
||||
This is a sample of the way I used to tease K.H. about
|
||||
his comic-book philosophy. I intended the teasing to be
|
||||
gentle and humorous, but it may be that I wounded K.H.
|
||||
without realizing it.
|
||||
|
||||
55. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #29, Peter L. Duren,
|
||||
pp. 9,10.
|
||||
|
||||
56. (Qb) Written Investigator Reports #28, G.Da., p.2; #55,
|
||||
John Je., pp. 1,2. Ray Janz's story was reported in (Hm)
|
||||
*San Francisco Chronicle*, April 29, 1996; (Hn) *Chicago
|
||||
Tribune*, April 16, 1996; (Ja) *Mad Genius*, p. 26. According
|
||||
to all three of these reports, Janz stated that I used a
|
||||
pocket protector.
|
||||
|
||||
57. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #32, Dale Es., pp. 1,2.
|
||||
|
||||
58. Same, p. 4.
|
||||
|
||||
59. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #134, Lois Skillen, pp.
|
||||
3, 6-8.
|
||||
|
||||
60. Professor Eickelman reported to my investigators that
|
||||
Harvard was attempting to recruit him. (Qb) Written
|
||||
Investigator Report #34, Dale Eickelman, p.1.
|
||||
|
||||
61. (Hk) *Scientific American*, May, 1997, pp. 24, 28.
|
||||
Binary file not shown.
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,671 @@
|
|||
# CHAPTER I
|
||||
|
||||
I will begin with one of the biggest lies of all, a kind of
|
||||
family myth manufactured by my mother.
|
||||
|
||||
I have only a vague recollection of the version of this
|
||||
story that I heard from my parents in childhood. In essence
|
||||
it was that as a baby I had been hospitalized with a severe
|
||||
case of hives (urticaria), and that I was so frightened by
|
||||
this separation from my parents that I was forever after
|
||||
excessively nervous about being left alone by them.
|
||||
|
||||
It is not clear to me why my parents thought I was unduly
|
||||
afraid of being separated from them. It may have been
|
||||
because they became accustomed to being away from their own
|
||||
parents at an especially early age - my mother's mother was
|
||||
a drunken, irresponsible slut¹ who probably left her
|
||||
children unattended on frequent occasions, and my father was
|
||||
an extrovert who spent much of his childhood running with
|
||||
gangs of boys rather than home (according to the stories he
|
||||
told me). In any case, as I look back on it now, I don't
|
||||
think I was any more anxious about being left alone than the
|
||||
average kid of my age. When I was perhaps six or seven years
|
||||
old, my mother began leaving me home alone for an hour or
|
||||
two at a time, and I did not find it difficult to adjust to
|
||||
this. At about the same age I once attended a movie with my
|
||||
father in a strange neighborhood far from home, and after
|
||||
the movie, he left me standing alone outside the theater for
|
||||
ten or fifteen minutes while he went to get the car. I felt
|
||||
a good deal of anxiety while waiting for him, but I think
|
||||
not more than is normal for a kid of that age under such
|
||||
circumstances. I certainly did not feel panicky nor did I
|
||||
doubt that my father would return. He told me afterward that
|
||||
he had left me alone in order to help me get over what he
|
||||
called my fear of being away from my parents.
|
||||
|
||||
My parents retained their belief that I had an unusual fear
|
||||
of being separated from them until I was thirteen years old.
|
||||
At that age, I was sent away to summer camp for two weeks.
|
||||
Though I was somewhat homesick, I had no serious difficulty
|
||||
in adjusting to the experience, ² and after that, as far as
|
||||
I can remember, my parents never again mentioned my supposed
|
||||
fear of being "abandoned" by them - until many years
|
||||
later, when my mother resuscitated the myth of "that
|
||||
hospital experience" in exaggerated and melodramatic form.
|
||||
Her motives for doing so will be explained in Chapter IV.
|
||||
For the moment, I am concerned only to describe the myth
|
||||
itself and to refute it.
|
||||
|
||||
Here is the myth in my mother's own words, from a letter
|
||||
that she wrote to me on December 24, 1984:
|
||||
|
||||
"\[Your hatred of your parents\] I think, I am convinced,
|
||||
has its source in your traumatic hospital experience in your
|
||||
first year of life. You had to be hospitalized with a
|
||||
sudden, very serious allergy that could have choked off your
|
||||
breath. In those days hospitals would not allow a parent to
|
||||
stay with a sick child, and visits were limited to one hour
|
||||
twice a week. I can still hear you screaming 'Mommy, Mommy!'
|
||||
in panic as the nurse forced me out of the room. My God! how
|
||||
I wept. My heart broke. I walked the floor all night
|
||||
weeping, knowing you were horribly frightened and lonely.
|
||||
Knowing you thought yourself abandoned and rejected when you
|
||||
needed your mother the most. How could you, at nine months,
|
||||
understand why - in your physical misery - you were turned
|
||||
over to strangers. When I finally brought \[you ³ \] home
|
||||
you were a changed personality. You were a dead lump
|
||||
emotionally. You didn't smile, didn't look at us, didn't
|
||||
respond to us in any way. I was terrified. What had they
|
||||
done to my baby? Obviously, the emotional pain and shock you
|
||||
suffered those four days became deeply embedded in your
|
||||
brain - your sub-conscious. I think you rejected, you hated
|
||||
me from that time on. We rocked you, cuddled you, talked to
|
||||
you, read to you - did everything we could think of to
|
||||
stimulate you. How we loved you, yearned over you. Some
|
||||
said we spoiled you, were too lenient, doted on you too
|
||||
much. But you were our beloved son - our first born and we
|
||||
wanted so much to have you love us back. But I think that
|
||||
emotional pain and fear never completely left you. Every now
|
||||
and then throughout your life, I saw it crop up. ..." ⁴
|
||||
|
||||
I was surprised when I saw that in this letter my mother
|
||||
described my hospitalization as having lasted only four
|
||||
days. She had previously told me - repeatedly - that it had
|
||||
lasted a week, ⁵ and that I had been "inert", "a dead
|
||||
lump", for a month after I came home.
|
||||
|
||||
Here is what my brother reportedly said about "that
|
||||
hospital experience" when he was interviewed by the FBI:
|
||||
|
||||
"TED had a severe allergic reaction and was hospitalized for
|
||||
several weeks. His parents were only allowed short daily
|
||||
visits and TED became unresponsive and withdrawn during his
|
||||
stay in the hospital." ⁶
|
||||
|
||||
"When TED was a year or so old, he was hospitalized after
|
||||
suffering a 'severe allergic reaction.' His parents were
|
||||
restricted from visiting him for more than a few minutes a
|
||||
day, and when he recovered and was taken home two or three
|
||||
weeks later they noticed that he was markedly unresponsive
|
||||
and displayed a significantly 'flat effect' (emotionless
|
||||
appearance). It took weeks and even months for his parents
|
||||
to re-establish a satisfactory relationship with TED, and
|
||||
WANDA attributes much of TED's emotional disturbance as an
|
||||
adolescent to this early trauma." ⁷
|
||||
|
||||
"DAVE stated that on four distinct occasions, TED has
|
||||
displayed a type of 'almost catatonic' behavior which has
|
||||
long perplexed and mystified his family. The first was his
|
||||
withdrawal after a three-week hospital stay when he was an
|
||||
infant." ⁸
|
||||
|
||||
Here is what my brother told the *New York Times*:
|
||||
|
||||
"David, who had been told the story by his parents, said
|
||||
that the infant Teddy developed a severe allergy and was
|
||||
hospitalized for a week. 'There were rigid regulations
|
||||
about when parents could and couldn't visit,' David said.
|
||||
He recalled that on two occasions, his parents 'were
|
||||
allowed to visit him for one hour.'
|
||||
|
||||
"After Teddy came home, 'he became very unresponsive,'
|
||||
David said. 'He had been a smiling, happy, jovial kind of
|
||||
baby beforehand, and when he returned from the hospital he
|
||||
showed little emotions \[sic\] for months.'" ⁹
|
||||
|
||||
*Newsweek* cited information from federal investigators (who
|
||||
presumably were relaying information received from my mother
|
||||
or my brother) as follows:
|
||||
|
||||
"The first clue is something that happened when Kaczynski
|
||||
was only 6 months old. According to federal investigators,
|
||||
little 'Teddy John,' as his parents called him, was
|
||||
hospitalized for a severe allergic reaction to a medicine he
|
||||
was taking. He had to be isolated - his parents were
|
||||
unable to see him or hold him for several weeks. After this
|
||||
separation, family members have told the Feds, the baby's
|
||||
personality, once bubbly and vivacious, seemed to go
|
||||
'flat.'" ¹⁰
|
||||
|
||||
*Time* gave a similar report. ¹¹
|
||||
|
||||
The FBI's "302" reports often contain inaccuracies, and
|
||||
(as we will show later) journalists' reports are extremely
|
||||
prone to gross inaccuracies that result from carelessness,
|
||||
incompetence, or intentional lying. But the fact that
|
||||
several different sources gave roughly similar accounts is a
|
||||
good indication of the kind of information my brother and
|
||||
mother had been giving out.
|
||||
|
||||
Furthermore, on April 12, 1996, Investigator #1, an
|
||||
investigator for the Federal Defender's office at Helena,
|
||||
Montana, interviewed my mother in Washington, D.C. According
|
||||
to Investigator #1's notes, my mother gave her the story as
|
||||
follows:
|
||||
|
||||
'When Ted was nine or 10 months old, he developed a severe
|
||||
and sudden allergic reaction to something, his entire body
|
||||
swelled, and he had severe itching all over. Wanda walked
|
||||
with him the entire night, and took him to the University of
|
||||
Chicago-Children's Teaching Hospital first thing in the
|
||||
morning. She described the hospital visit as very traumatic
|
||||
for both Ted and his mother. When they arrived, Ted was
|
||||
taken from Wanda by a nurse and put in a separate room. Ted
|
||||
started screaming and crying, calling nonstop for his
|
||||
mother, who also started crying... . That Friday the
|
||||
hospital called Wanda and said she could come and pick Ted
|
||||
up, as the swelling had subsided. When Wanda arrived at the
|
||||
hospital, she was handed her son, who she described as 'a
|
||||
dead lump.' She said Ted would not respond to her or her
|
||||
husband at all for weeks after the hospital stay. Wanda and
|
||||
Theodore spent hours trying to bring Ted out of his shell,
|
||||
coaxing a smile, or attempting to get him to play with a
|
||||
toy, mostly without success. ...
|
||||
|
||||
"After the stay in the hospital, Wanda described Ted as
|
||||
much more clingy, and less trusting of strangers. He would
|
||||
scream whenever he was taken into a strange building,
|
||||
fearful his parents were going to leave him. About four or
|
||||
five months after Ted was released from the hospital, he
|
||||
fell while running in the house, and split his tongue.
|
||||
Wanda rushed him to the hospital, where he immediately began
|
||||
screaming and fighting. ...
|
||||
|
||||
'Ted's regular pediatric visits were always upsetting, as
|
||||
Ted acted terrified of doctors." ¹²
|
||||
|
||||
How accurate is this picture? Fortunately that question is
|
||||
easy to resolve, because my mother kept a "Baby Book," or
|
||||
diary of my development as an infant. The book contained
|
||||
printed instructions and questions with blank spaces left
|
||||
for the parent to fill in. (When quoting from the Baby Book,
|
||||
I will put the printed matter in italics and material
|
||||
written by my mother in ordinary type.) The following
|
||||
excerpt from the Baby Book includes every word of my
|
||||
mother's account of "that hospital experience," from the
|
||||
first appearance of the symptoms to my apparently complete
|
||||
recovery.
|
||||
|
||||
My age at the time was just over nine months.
|
||||
|
||||
"*FORTY-FIRST WEEK. Dates, from* Feb. 26 *to* Mar 5
|
||||
\[1943\]
|
||||
|
||||
"Saturday, the 27th \[of February\] Mother noticed small red
|
||||
splotches on baby's stomach and neck, as the day progressed
|
||||
the splotches spread. In the evening we took him to the
|
||||
hospital. The doctor diagnosed them as hives. Sunday
|
||||
\[February 28\] the hives were worse but baby seemed not
|
||||
effected \[sic\] by them. We took him for a long ride in his
|
||||
buggy. Shortly after we returned we noticed the baby had a
|
||||
fever. Called the hospital and was told to give him frequent
|
||||
baths & 1/2 aspirin every 3 hrs. Monday morning \[March 1\]
|
||||
the baby was examined at Bobs Roberts \[Hospital\] by
|
||||
several doctors. The consensus \[sic\] of opinion was that
|
||||
baby had a bad case of urticaria \[hives, rash\] & should be
|
||||
left at the hospital. Wednesday \[March 3\], mother went to
|
||||
visit baby. The doctors still think he has an extreme case
|
||||
of urticaria but are not sure. The \[sic\] omitted \[sic\]
|
||||
eggs from his diet. Mother felt very sad about baby. She
|
||||
says he is quite subdued, has lost his abandoned virve
|
||||
\[sic\] & aggressiveness and has developed an
|
||||
institutionalized look.
|
||||
|
||||
"*FORTY-SECOND WEEK*. *Dates, from* Mar. 5 *to* Mar. 12
|
||||
\[1943\]
|
||||
|
||||
"Baby's home from hospital. Perfectly healthy But quiet
|
||||
and unresponsive after his experience. Hope his sudden
|
||||
removal to hospital and consequent unhappiness will not harm
|
||||
him.
|
||||
|
||||
"Later in the week - Baby is quite himself again. Vivacious
|
||||
and demanding. Says 'bye-bye' by waving his hand.
|
||||
\[Etc.\]" ¹³
|
||||
|
||||
According to hospital records ¹⁴, I was admitted on March 1,
|
||||
1943 and released on March 6, so I was hospitalized for five
|
||||
days. Since the statement that I was quite myself again
|
||||
could not have been written later than March 12, it took me
|
||||
*at most* six days (and possibly much less time) to make an
|
||||
apparently complete recovery. It should also be noted that a
|
||||
careful study of my medical records has turned up *no*
|
||||
mention of my supposed unresponsiveness. Furthermore, on
|
||||
September 6, 1996, my Aunt Freda (Freda Dombek Tuominen) was
|
||||
interviewed in Gainesville, Florida by two investigators
|
||||
working on my case. She told them that she was away on a
|
||||
two-week vacation when I was hospitalized from March 1 to
|
||||
6, 1943. When she returned, someone mentioned to her that I
|
||||
had been in the hospital, but after that she heard nothing
|
||||
more about the episode until it was publicized in the media
|
||||
following my arrest. ¹⁵ Since Freda was very close to my
|
||||
parents during the 1940's, this is a clear indication that
|
||||
*at that time*, my mother did not attach much importance to
|
||||
the hospitalization and that the effect on me was not
|
||||
obviously serious.
|
||||
|
||||
What about my mother's statement that "Ted's regular
|
||||
pediatric visits were always upsetting, as Ted acted
|
||||
terrified of doctors?" ¹² That is another lie. The Baby
|
||||
Book and my medical records show four, and only four,
|
||||
instances in which I appeared to be afraid of doctors or
|
||||
nurses, and two of these occurred *before* "that hospital
|
||||
experience." Here are the corresponding entries from the
|
||||
Baby Book and the medical records:
|
||||
|
||||
"*FIFTH WEEK. Dates, from* June 19 *to* June 26 \[1942\],
|
||||
|
||||
"... When the doctor was handling him today he cried a great
|
||||
deal. ... Perhaps he was frightened of the unfamiliar
|
||||
surroundings and handling." ¹⁶
|
||||
|
||||
"*SEVENTEENTH WEEK. Dates, from* Sept. 11 *to* Sept. 18
|
||||
\[1942\].
|
||||
|
||||
"... Sept. 15. When taken for his periodic
|
||||
examination the child became very frightened of the
|
||||
doctor." ¹⁷
|
||||
|
||||
In the medical records the two foregoing examinations are
|
||||
recorded, but no mention is made of my reaction to the
|
||||
doctor, ¹⁸ which probably indicates that the doctor did not
|
||||
consider my reaction unusual.
|
||||
|
||||
My hospitalization occurred during the latter part of my
|
||||
forty-first week. About a month later, the following
|
||||
reaction was reported in the Baby Book:
|
||||
|
||||
"*FORTY-SIXTH WEEK. Dates, from* 4/2 *to* 4/9 \[1943\].
|
||||
|
||||
"This week we visited the hospital with Teddy. When mother
|
||||
took him in to be undressed & weighed Teddy saw the nurses
|
||||
in their white uniforms & immediately HOWLED. It's evident
|
||||
he remembered his sojurn \[sic\] in the hospital. It took
|
||||
about 10 min. for mother to calm him. When the doctor
|
||||
entered the little room that he was taken to after being
|
||||
weighed there was no definite reaction other than interest
|
||||
in her, but as soon as she attempted to examine him he
|
||||
yowled." ¹⁹
|
||||
|
||||
The hospital record of this examination does not mention my
|
||||
fearful reaction. ²⁰
|
||||
|
||||
The last instance in which I showed fear of medical
|
||||
personnel is mentioned in my medical records, but not the
|
||||
Baby Book (which does not go beyond December 25, 1943):
|
||||
|
||||
"June 27, 1944. ... Reluctant to carry examination,
|
||||
child is fearful of white coats since his visit for repair
|
||||
of his tongue." ²¹
|
||||
|
||||
The reference is to an injury to my tongue ²² that had
|
||||
occurred about two months earlier, on April 29, 1944. Note
|
||||
that this extract from the medical records clearly implies
|
||||
that prior to the tongue injury, I was *not* fearful of
|
||||
medical personnel. That I was not afraid of doctors or
|
||||
nurses for at least nine or ten months preceding my tongue
|
||||
injury is confirmed by the absence of any mention in the
|
||||
Baby Book or the medical records of any such fear on my part
|
||||
between April 9, 1943 (about a month after my
|
||||
hospitalization) and April 29, 1944 (the date of my tongue
|
||||
injury), even though the medical records and the Baby Book
|
||||
report that I was examined at the University of Chicago
|
||||
clinics ²³ on May 18, 1943, June 13, 1943, October 19, 1943,
|
||||
January 11, 1944, and January 18, 1944. Moreover, the Baby
|
||||
Book's one-year inventory of the child's development (late
|
||||
May, 1943, less than three months after "that hospital
|
||||
experience") includes the question, "*Does he* \[the
|
||||
baby\] *show persistent fear of anything?*" My mother left
|
||||
the question blank. ²⁴
|
||||
|
||||
*After* my tongue injury (which, by the way, did not require
|
||||
hospitalization), my mother told a doctor that I was "quite
|
||||
fearful of hospitals" (see extract below, April 4, 1945).
|
||||
But that I had no *long-lasting* fear of doctors or
|
||||
hospitals is confirmed by the following extracts from the
|
||||
medical records ²⁵:
|
||||
|
||||
"June 13, 1943. ... Healthy w-d \[well-developed?\]
|
||||
well nourished infant. No pathological findings."
|
||||
|
||||
(No mention of unresponsiveness or fear of doctors.)
|
||||
|
||||
"April 4, 1945... appetite excellent. Plays well
|
||||
with other children. Quite fearful (?) of hospitals."
|
||||
|
||||
(Evidently the doctor is recording information furnished by
|
||||
my mother. The question mark after "fearful" is in the
|
||||
original and possibly indicates skepticism on the part of
|
||||
the doctor. Further along in the report of this same
|
||||
examination:)
|
||||
|
||||
"Sturdy, well nourished boy with good color who tries to
|
||||
manipulate his mother by temper \[?\] outbursts. Submits
|
||||
\[illegible\] but not quickly \[or quietly?\] to
|
||||
examination - after she is sent from the room. Quite
|
||||
agreeable at conclusion of examination."
|
||||
|
||||
(The foregoing entry contradicts my mother's claim that I
|
||||
was afraid of being left by my parents, since the departure
|
||||
of my mother calmed me and caused me to submit to the
|
||||
examination.)
|
||||
|
||||
"January 4, 1946... A well nourished \[?\]
|
||||
adequately muscled \[?\] very whiny little boy."
|
||||
|
||||
"April 10, 1946... A whiny but fairly cooperative
|
||||
boy... ."
|
||||
|
||||
"October 16, 1947... A pleasant, quiet, alert,
|
||||
slender boy... ."
|
||||
|
||||
"December 8, 1947... A friendly, intelligent
|
||||
youngster who is not acutely ill. He is extremely
|
||||
inquisitive of all that is said and requests explanations."
|
||||
|
||||
The foregoing include all of the passages in my surviving
|
||||
medical records up to age 6 that have any bearing on my
|
||||
behavior in the presence of doctors or nurses. So much for
|
||||
my mother's claim that "Ted's regular pediatric visits
|
||||
were always upsetting, as Ted acted terrified of doctors."
|
||||
|
||||
According to the *Washington Post*, "Ted had an almost
|
||||
paralyzing uneasiness around strangers, a reaction, again,
|
||||
that Wanda traced back to Ted's childhood
|
||||
hospitalization." ²⁶
|
||||
|
||||
Apart from the few cases in which I showed fear of doctors
|
||||
or nurses, the Baby Book reports two, and only two, cases in
|
||||
which I was frightened by strangers, and both of these cases
|
||||
occurred *before* my "hospital experience."
|
||||
|
||||
"*ELEVENTH WEEK. Dates, from* July 31 *to* Aug 7 \[1942\]
|
||||
|
||||
"Twice this week the baby was on the verge of crying when
|
||||
approached by unfamiliar persons. After a bit of handling
|
||||
and talking to by the strangers he became very friendly,
|
||||
cooing and smiling in response to their overtures." ²⁷
|
||||
|
||||
How did I react to strangers (apart from doctors and nurses)
|
||||
*after* the "hospital experience?" Only two pages in the
|
||||
Baby Book provide relevant information. The one-year
|
||||
inventory of the child's development instructs the parent:
|
||||
|
||||
"*Underline each of the following terms which seems
|
||||
descriptive of the child's behavior. Doubly underline those
|
||||
which are shown very frequently or in a marked degree* ... ."
|
||||
|
||||
The Baby Book then lists thirteen terms. One of them is
|
||||
"shyness," and my mother underlined it once. (The other
|
||||
terms are "curiosity," which my mother underlined doubly;
|
||||
"excitability," "impulsiveness," "cautiousness,"
|
||||
"jealousy," "stubbornness," "cheerfulness",
|
||||
"sensitiveness," "boisterousness," all of which my
|
||||
mother underlined once; and "irritability,"
|
||||
"listlessness," "placidity," which my mother did not
|
||||
underline at all. ²⁸ The same terms were listed in the
|
||||
nine-month inventory, and there my mother underlined
|
||||
"curiosity" doubly, she underlined "excitability,"
|
||||
"impulsiveness," "stubbornness," and "boisterousness"
|
||||
once, and she underlined none of the others. ²⁹)
|
||||
|
||||
Further along in the one-year inventory we find:
|
||||
|
||||
"*Does child show greater interest in children or in
|
||||
adults? Describe*. Either definitely likes or dislikes
|
||||
adults Loves to tussle with other children *Is he usually
|
||||
shy or friendly with strange women?* either
|
||||
*men?* either *children?* friendly *Does he show any
|
||||
special preferences for certain persons?* Yes
|
||||
*Describe* For unaccountable reasons will either be very
|
||||
friendly or unfriendly to strangers. But almost always
|
||||
friendly to people he knows." ²⁸
|
||||
|
||||
About seven weeks after the "hospital experience" and
|
||||
three weeks before the one-year inventory, we find in the
|
||||
Baby Book:
|
||||
|
||||
"*FORTY-NINTH WEEK. Dates, from* 4/23 *to* 4/30 \[1943\].
|
||||
|
||||
"When the door buzzer rings Teddy, when in his walker,
|
||||
immediately skoots \[sic\] to the door, no matter what he's
|
||||
occupied with at the time. When not in the walker he insists
|
||||
on being carried or assisted in going himself." ³⁰
|
||||
|
||||
Since I was so anxious to meet visitors, it's clear that I
|
||||
had no particular fear of strangers and was not excessively
|
||||
shy. The statement that I had "an almost paralyzing fear of
|
||||
strangers" going back to my "childhood hospitalization"
|
||||
is another lie.
|
||||
|
||||
Did my hospitalization at the age of nine months have any
|
||||
lasting effect on my personality or behavior? I do not know
|
||||
the answer to that question. But it is obvious that if the
|
||||
experience tended to make me permanently fearful of doctors
|
||||
or of strangers, or if it made me less social, then the
|
||||
effect was so mild that it is not clear whether there was
|
||||
any effect at all.
|
||||
|
||||
Psychologists consulted by my defense team searched the
|
||||
literature for reports of empirical studies of children who
|
||||
had suffered separation from their parents at an early age.
|
||||
They found only one study ³¹ that was closely relevant to my
|
||||
case. This study shows that my reaction to hospitalization
|
||||
and my recovery from it were quite normal for an infant
|
||||
hospitalized under those conditions. While the study found
|
||||
that all "overt" effects of hospitalization in such
|
||||
infants disappeared within 80 days, at most, and usually in
|
||||
a fraction of that time, the infants were not observed for a
|
||||
long enough period to determine whether there were any
|
||||
subtler, long-lasting effects.
|
||||
|
||||
Thus it remains an open question whether my hospitalization
|
||||
had any permanent effect on my personality. The aim of this
|
||||
chapter has not been to prove that there could not have been
|
||||
such an effect, but that whatever that effect may have been,
|
||||
it was not what my mother and brother have described.
|
||||
|
||||
My mother's and brother's motives for lying about me will
|
||||
be dealt with later. (See Appendix I for further evidence of
|
||||
my mother's untruthfulness.)
|
||||
|
||||
\* \* \* \* \* \*
|
||||
|
||||
The passage from the Baby Book that describes my "hospital
|
||||
experience" provides an example of the way the media lie.
|
||||
In an article in the *Washington Post*, journalists Serge F.
|
||||
Kovaleski and Lorraine Adams quoted the Baby Book as
|
||||
follows:
|
||||
|
||||
"Feb. 27. 1943. Mother went to visit baby. ... Mother
|
||||
felt very sad about baby. She says he is quite subdued, has
|
||||
lost his verve and aggressiveness and has developed an
|
||||
institutionalized look.
|
||||
|
||||
"March 12, 1943. Baby home from hospital and is healthy but
|
||||
quite unresponsive after his experience. Hope his sudden
|
||||
removal to hospital and consequent unhappiness will not harm
|
||||
him." ³²
|
||||
|
||||
Compare this with the accurate transcription of the passage
|
||||
given a few pages back. Kovaleski and Adams have made
|
||||
important changes. On February 27 I was still at home. I was
|
||||
not hospitalized until March 1, and the entry that Kovaleski
|
||||
and Adams dated "Feb. 27" actually refers to March 3.
|
||||
Kovaleski and Adams assign the date March 12 to an entry
|
||||
that was obviously written earlier, and they completely omit
|
||||
the entry that shows that on or before March 12 I had
|
||||
already recovered completely from "that hospital experience".
|
||||
|
||||
Kovaleski and Adams altered not only the dates but also the
|
||||
wording of the passage. The most important change was that,
|
||||
where the Baby Book states that I was "quiet and
|
||||
unresponsive," Kovaleski and Adams wrote that I was "quite
|
||||
unresponsive." ³³
|
||||
|
||||
The effect of these obviously intentional changes is to give
|
||||
the impression that the "hospital experience" and its
|
||||
consequences were much more long-lasting and severe than
|
||||
they really were.
|
||||
|
||||
## NOTES TO CHAPTER I
|
||||
|
||||
1. (Ae) Autobiog of Wanda, entire document. (Cb) FL
|
||||
Supplementary Item #4, letter from my Aunt Freda to my
|
||||
mother, October 1, 1986. Supported by oral communications
|
||||
to me from my mother and my uncle Benny Dombek up to 1979.
|
||||
|
||||
2. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 36: "I felt rather
|
||||
homesick at this place, but not excessively so. I got along
|
||||
alright." (Ab) Autobiog of TJK 1959, p. 5 has: "Up to
|
||||
quite recently... I was very dependent on \[my
|
||||
parents\] in that I became unhappy if far away from them for
|
||||
any length of time, say a couple of days or more. Before
|
||||
coming to Harvard \[at the age of sixteen\], I was greatly
|
||||
afraid that I would suffer much from homesickness, but after
|
||||
a couple of weeks of unhappiness, this no longer bothered me
|
||||
at all. The ties seem to have snapped completely, as it no
|
||||
longer bothers me at all to be away from home."
|
||||
|
||||
3. A small part of the original letter is missing here, but
|
||||
it is clear from the context that the word "you" should
|
||||
appear.
|
||||
|
||||
4. (Ca) FL #297, letter from my mother to me, December
|
||||
24, 1984.
|
||||
|
||||
5. Both in (Ab) Autobiog of TJK 1959, p. 1 and (Ac)
|
||||
Autobiog of TJK 1979, p.1, I gave the period of
|
||||
hospitalization as a week. I could only have gotten that
|
||||
information from my parents - probably my mother, since my
|
||||
father rarely said anything about "that hospital
|
||||
experience."
|
||||
|
||||
6. (Na) FBI 302 number 1, p. 3.
|
||||
|
||||
7. (Na) FBI 302 number 2, p. 6.
|
||||
|
||||
8. (Na) FBI 302 number 3, p. 3.
|
||||
|
||||
9. (Ha) *NY Times Nat*., May 26, 1996, p. 22, column 3.
|
||||
|
||||
10. (Hf) *Newsweek*, April 22, 1996, p. 29.
|
||||
|
||||
11. (Hg) *Time*, April 22, 1996, p. 46.
|
||||
|
||||
12. (Ka) Interview of Wanda by Investigator #1, pp. 1,2.
|
||||
|
||||
13. (Bc) Baby Book, pp. 111, 112.
|
||||
|
||||
14. (Ea) Med Records of TJK, U. Chi., March 1-6, 1943, pp.
|
||||
13, 14, 19.
|
||||
|
||||
15. (Qa) Oral report from Investigator #2, February 5, 1997.
|
||||
The fact that the duration of the vacation was two weeks is
|
||||
from (Qa) Oral report of Investigator #3, February 18, 1997.
|
||||
According to (Ra) Oral report from Dr. K., March 29, 1997,
|
||||
in a later interview Freda told Dr. K. that she was no
|
||||
longer sure that she was away on vacation at the time of my
|
||||
hospitalization. Instead, as a college student, she may have
|
||||
been absorbed in her studies and temporarily out of touch
|
||||
with my parents. But she still affirmed that she had been
|
||||
told nothing about "that hospital experience" beyond the
|
||||
bare mention of the fact that I had been in the hospital.
|
||||
(Ra) Oral Report from Dr. K., February 12, 1998, and (Rb)
|
||||
Written Information Confirmed by Dr. K., item #1, repeat
|
||||
this same information, but give May 8, 1997 as the date on
|
||||
which Dr. K. obtained the information from Freda. Note that
|
||||
I have a record of receiving this information from Dr. K.
|
||||
on March 29, 1997. So either Freda gave Dr. K. the same
|
||||
information twice in different interviews, or else I
|
||||
inadvertently wrote "March 29" for "May 29" when I dated
|
||||
the information, or else Dr. K. made an error about the
|
||||
date.
|
||||
|
||||
In any case, the most important parts of the foregoing
|
||||
information have been confirmed in writing by
|
||||
Investigator #2. (Qc) Written Reports by Investigator #2, p.
|
||||
1: "Freda Tuominen was away on vacation when Ted was
|
||||
hospitalized as an infant. Upon her return she heard that
|
||||
Ted had been in the hospital but heard nothing about it
|
||||
\[sic\] the hospitalization until she read about it in the
|
||||
media."
|
||||
|
||||
16. (Bc) Baby Book, p. 74.
|
||||
|
||||
17. Same, p. 85.
|
||||
|
||||
18. (Ea) Med Records of TJK, U. Chi., June 23, 1942, p. 7;
|
||||
September 15, 1942, p. 8.
|
||||
|
||||
19. (Bc) Baby Book, p. 113.
|
||||
|
||||
20. (Ea) Med Records of TJK, U. Chi., April 6, 1943, p. 12.
|
||||
|
||||
21. Same, June 27, 1944, p. 26.
|
||||
|
||||
22. Same, April 29, 1944, p. 25.
|
||||
|
||||
23. The May 18, 1943 examination is reported in (Bc) Baby
|
||||
Book, p. 66, but not in the medical records, from which a
|
||||
page appears to be missing. The other four examinations are
|
||||
recorded in (Ea) Med Records of TJK, U. Chi., June 13, 1943
|
||||
and October 19, 1943, p. 23; January 11 and 18, 1944, p. 24.
|
||||
The "7/13/43" examination reported in (Bc) Baby Book, p.
|
||||
66, is an error on the part of my mother. It should be
|
||||
6/13/43, as is shown by the fact that next to 7/13/43, my
|
||||
mother has the notation "smallpox vaccination," and the
|
||||
medical records report the vaccination on June 13, 1943.
|
||||
|
||||
24. (Bc) Baby Book, p. 122.
|
||||
|
||||
25. (Ea) Med Records of TJK, U. Chi., June 13, 1943, p. 23;
|
||||
April 4, 1945, p. 26; January 4, 1946, p. 27; April 10,
|
||||
1946, p. 29; October 16, 1947, p. 33; December 8,
|
||||
1947, p. 34.
|
||||
|
||||
26. (Hb) *Washington Post*, June 16, 1996, p. A20.
|
||||
|
||||
27. (Bc) Baby Book, p. 76.
|
||||
|
||||
28. Same, p. 122.
|
||||
|
||||
29. Same, p. 107.
|
||||
|
||||
30. Same, p. 114.
|
||||
|
||||
31. (La) Schaffer and Callender, "Psychologic Effects of
|
||||
Hospitalization," *Pediatrics*, October, 1959. This study
|
||||
considered only babies who were not being breast-fed at the
|
||||
time they entered the hospital. I fitted into this group
|
||||
since, by the age of nine months, I was no longer being
|
||||
breast-fed. See (Bc) Baby Book, p. 104.
|
||||
|
||||
32. (Hb) *Washington Post*, June 16, 1996, p. A20. The three
|
||||
dots appear in the excerpt as printed in the *Post*.
|
||||
|
||||
33. My mother first wrote in the Baby Book that I was
|
||||
"Perfectly healthy but quite and unresponsive." She then
|
||||
crossed out the "e" at the end of "quite" and inserted
|
||||
an "e" between the "i" and the "t" to make the word
|
||||
"quiet." My attorneys Judy Clarke and Quin Denvir examined
|
||||
the original of the Baby Book (in the possession of the
|
||||
FBI) and confirmed that the correction appeared to have been
|
||||
made with the same ink and the same pen as the rest of the
|
||||
writing in the Baby Book, so that there was no reason to
|
||||
doubt its authenticity. Since "quite and unresponsive"
|
||||
would make no sense, and since the correction was clear and
|
||||
unmistakable, the alteration of "quiet and unresponsive"
|
||||
to "quite unresponsive" was not an innocent error but
|
||||
intentional deception on the part of Kovaleski and Adams.
|
||||
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Reference in New Issue