1028 lines
46 KiB
Markdown
1028 lines
46 KiB
Markdown
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# CHAPTER III
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About June, 1952, my family and I moved to the suburb of
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Evergreen Park. ¹ If my parents made the move in order to
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provide me with "some decent kids to play with," they did
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not choose the location well. The only kid in my age group
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on our block was B.O., who was about a year younger than I
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was. He was a frequent playmate of mine for one or two years
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after we came to Evergreen Park, but he was a rather
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obnoxious character and we didn't get along well. We had
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several fights, all of which I won. A few years later, after
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the O.'s had moved away, my mother told me she'd heard
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that B.O. had gotten into trouble with the police, but, in
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view of my mother's unreliability, I don't know whether
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this is true.
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Shortly after we arrived in Evergreen Park, my parents, in
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order to encourage me to be socially active, made me enroll
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in a summer program of organized recreation that was
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conducted at Evergreen Park Central School. I didn't like
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it, and soon stopped attending. At some later time my father
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forced me to enroll briefly in the Boy Scouts, and I didn't
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like that any better. I wrote in my 1979 autobiography, "As
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a kid I usually didn't like activities that were organized
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and supervised by adults, other than my parents." ²
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Apparently this is typical for mathematically gifted kids.
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According to a book on the psychology of adolescence, "An
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interesting characteristic of mathematically gifted
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adolescents was their independence with regard to how they
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spent their out-of-class time. 'Though they played some
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individual sports and some musical instruments, they
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completely resisted any regimented activity in the way of
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planned recreation.'" ³
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In September, 1952, I entered the fifth grade at Evergreen
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Park Central School. At Sherman School we had spent the
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whole school day in one classroom and with one teacher, but
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at Evergreen Park Central, the students shifted from one
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classroom to another to be taught different subjects.
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Because of this new system and the unfamiliar people I felt
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very insecure at first, but after a few weeks I adjusted
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comfortably. ²
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I made some friends at school, including Dale J., Bob C.,
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Barbara B., Dale Eickelman, and Larry S. Larry S. was the
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best of these. The friendships with Dale J. and Bob C.
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didn't last; the former turned out to be decidedly
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peculiar, and the latter was a boy with little self-control
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who once tried (unsuccessfully) to get me to participate in
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stealing. Dale Eickelman had a few peculiarities of his own,
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and I can't say that I ever really liked him, but I
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continued to associate with him throughout my grade-school
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and high-school years. My friendship with Barbara B. had
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nothing to do with sex. Her family moved away before we
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completed fifth grade, and thereafter I corresponded with
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her for a short time. ⁴
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Also in fifth grade, I carried on an intense flirtation with
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a beautiful female classmate named Darlene Cy. Because she
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teased me and provoked me, I loved her and hated her at the
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same time. She gradually began to conquer me, however, and
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love undoubtedly would have won out in the end if
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circumstances hadn't separated us. What happened was that
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upon completing fifth grade I was placed directly in
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seventh, and after that I rarely saw Darlene. ⁵
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Skipping a grade was a disaster for me. It came about as
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follows. While I was in fifth grade the school guidance
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counselor, Miss Vera Frye, gave some of us a battery of
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tests including a Stanford-Binet IQ test. On the latter, I
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scored very high, ⁶ 167. The *Washington Post* quoted my
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mother as follows:
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"A school psychologist \[Miss Frye\] gave Ted a
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Stanford-Binet IQ test... . But his mother took more
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comfort in the results of a personality test, which showed
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him to be well-adjusted.
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"'For a while \[Wanda said\] all my uneasiness about these
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residual effects from his early childhood were laid to rest
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because this psychologist said, "Oh, he is fine,"
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... . In fact, she said he had a strong sense of security,
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which surprised me... . She said he could be whatever he
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wanted to be. ... He was the cat's whiskers.' ...
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"\[The family\] now believe that perhaps Ted was smart
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enough to figure out the most appropriate answers to the
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test and outwit it." ⁷
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Psychological tests include devices to detect cheating, and
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it is hardly likely that a ten-year-old (however bright)
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with no knowledge of psychological testing would be able to
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outwit such a test.
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In any case, Miss Frye telephoned my parents, informed them
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of my high IQ score, and (according to my mother's account)
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went so far as to tell them that I had the potential to be
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"another Einstein." ⁸ This was foolish, because there is a
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lot more to being an Einstein than scoring high on an IQ
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test. It's possible that Miss Frye may have been laying it
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on thick because she had previously encountered parents who
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had shrugged their shoulders at information about their
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children's IQ scores and she was therefore trying to
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impress my parents with the importance of what she had to
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say. If she had known something about my mother, she would
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have been much more cautious.
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My mother came from a very poor background - poor not only
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financially but in every other respect. ⁹ Her position at
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the bottom of the social scale had been very painful to her,
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and she saw academic achievement, much more than financial
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success, as the avenue to the social status that she craved.
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She had neither the intelligence nor the self-discipline to
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achieve anything herself, however, so she sought to fulfill
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her ambitions through her children. ¹⁰ During my early years
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her expectations were reasonable and she put only very
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moderate pressure on me to perform well in school, but from
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the time of Miss Frye's phone call, she was filled with
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grandiose fantasies of what I was supposed to achieve.
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Even at that time I felt that my mother's reaction to Miss
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Frye's call was childish. Her excessive exhibitions of
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pleasure seemed ridiculous, and she immediately telephoned
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some of our relatives in order to brag to them. She told me
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a great deal that Miss Frye had asked her to keep secret
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from me. She admonished me not to reveal these things to
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anyone, because "Miss Frye says we're not supposed to tell
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you; but we feel that we can treat you as an adult." It was
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from this time that I gradually began to lose respect for my
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parents. ¹¹
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It was essentially Miss Frye who decided that I should skip
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a grade. She had the consent of the school authorities and
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the enthusiastic support of my mother, but they relied on
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her judgement as the supposed expert. Why did she make that
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decision? My mother told me at the time that it was because
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the tests showed that my greatest ability lay in the area of
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mathematics and physics, and (supposedly) mathematicians and
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physicists burned out young. Hence they were to be educated
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rapidly so that maximum use could be made of their ability
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while it lasted.
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Many years afterward, in a discussion with my mother, I
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bitterly criticized the decision to put me in seventh grade.
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At that time she tried to justify the decision by claiming
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that Miss Frye had said I was drawing "violent" pictures
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during my free time in school, and that pushing me a year
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ahead was somehow supposed to cure me of this. ¹² The
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proposition that academic acceleration will cure anyone of
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violent fantasies seems dubious, to say the least. Anyway, I
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replied to my mother that drawing war pictures and the like
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was commonplace among boys of that age at that time and
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place, but she insisted that no, my drawings were different.
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¹³ I brought the subject up again in 1991 in a letter to my
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mother: "You claim that Miss Frye said I was drawing
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pictures of violence during my spare moments in school. ...
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I'm not aware that I drew violent pictures any more often
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than the other boys. Miss Frye may have thought I did, but
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I certainly wouldn't trust her judgement... ." ¹⁴ My
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mother now changed her story. She wrote: "\[Y\]our memory of
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Frye is faulty. She considered your drawings quite normal.
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Just drawings of battle scene strategy." ¹⁵ This is a
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typical example of the way my mother plays fast and loose
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with the truth in order to suit her purposes of the moment.
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Was I drawing abnormally violent pictures at the age of
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ten? All I can say is that I do not remember making any
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drawings that would be considered unusual for a ten-
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year-old boy. ¹⁶ And my mother's statement quoted above,
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that Miss Frye considered me "well-adjusted," weighs against
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the abnormal-drawing story (assuming, of course, that my
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mother's statement is true, which may not be the case).
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\*\*\*\*\*\*
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It was from the time I skipped a grade that I began to have
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serious problems with social adjustment. I was not accepted
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by the seventh-graders with whom I was put. I quickly slid
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down to near the bottom of the pecking-order, and I stayed
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there until I graduated from high school. I was often
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subjected to insults or other indignities by the dominant
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boys. ¹⁷ My attempts to make advances to girls had such
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humiliating results that for many years afterward, even
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until after the age of thirty, I found it excruciatingly
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difficult - almost impossible - to make advances to
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women. ¹⁸
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Investigators working for my defense team obtained the
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following information from Michael Johnson, an administrator
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at Evergreen Park Community High School.
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"Johnson... flatly declared that the experiment of
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skipping kids ahead grades was a huge failure. The
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experiment was a notable failure during the era that Ted
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Kaczynski was promoted. Johnson added that the experiment
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was most especially a disaster with boys and indicated that
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he could document the fact that many of the boys who had
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been skipped ahead during Ted's era ended up as
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outcasts. ... Less-bright kids become resentful of those
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boys who are advanced ahead, causing the smart and
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accelerated kids to be even more acutely ostracized from
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their peer groups. More important, Johnson added, girls do
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not go out with boys who are younger. Thus, these boys have
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been set up for failure, and fail they do. The act of
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pushing youngsters ahead is almost never done anymore as a
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result of these past experiments. In fact, the state of
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Illinois now requires kids to be older before they can be
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promoted ahead a year." ¹⁹
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I was not the only kid who was rejected for being smart.
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There were several other boys who had a reputation for being
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academically-oriented and as a result were harassed or
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treated with contempt by the "tough" kids. ²⁰ But in my
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case the problems were compounded by the fact that, during
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the same period, I was being subjected to psychological
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abuse by both my parents. ²¹
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I've already described the change in my mother's
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personality that began not long after my brother's birth.
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By the time I was in my teens, she was having frequent
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outbursts of rage during which her face would become
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contorted and she would wave her clenched fists while
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unleashing a stream of unrestrained verbal abuse. ²² Even
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when she wasn't having one of her outbursts, she was often
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very irritable and would scold or make vicious remarks at
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the slightest provocation.
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The change in my mother affected my father. He became morose
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and pessimistic, and when family squabbles arose, he tended
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to sit in his easy chair and retreat behind a newspaper or
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book, ignoring the sordid turmoil around him. ²³ Sometimes,
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however, his patience became exhausted and he would have
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angry arguments with my mother or with me.
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But my father's moroseness was not exclusively an outcome
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of the family situation. I believe that he had deep-lying
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negative feelings about himself, about people, and about
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life in general. When he was in his mid-sixties and more
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ready to express his feelings than he'd been when he was
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younger, he took a car-camping trip by himself. On returning
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he said, "I can't be alone, because I don't like
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myself." He tended to see other people as dirty or sick.
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For example, when I visited my parents in 1978, my father
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described his employer, Win PI., to me as a pathologically
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compulsive talker. Later I got to know Win PI. myself, and I
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found that he was rather talkative, but by no means
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abnormally so. My father also used to speak of some of our
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relatives and other people in terms that exaggerated their
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failings and portrayed them as sick or repellent.
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Throughout my teens I was the target of frequent verbal
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aggression (often unprovoked) from both my parents,
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especially my mother. ²¹ The insults that cut me deepest
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were the imputations of mental illness or gross immaturity.
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²⁴ I think it was my father who started these when I was
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about twelve years old. The rejection I experienced from my
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peers at school, in combination with the deteriorating
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family atmosphere, made me often sullen and cranky, ²⁵ and
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my father, characteristically, interpreted this in terms of
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psychopathology. He began calling me "sick" whenever he
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was annoyed with me. My mother imitated him in this respect,
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and from then on until I was about 21 years old, both my
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parents would apply to me such epithets as "sick",
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"immature", "emotionally disturbed," "creep," "mind
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of a two-year-old," or "another Walter T." ²¹ (Walter T.
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was a man we knew who ended up in a mental institution.) It
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was always in an outburst of anger that my mother called me
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these things, but my father sometimes did so in a tone of
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cold contempt that cut worse than my mother's angry
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shouting. ²⁶ Neither of my parents ever suggested that I
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should be examined by a psychologist or psychiatrist. ²⁷ My
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mother never actually thought that there was anything wrong
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with me mentally, and I doubt that my father saw me as any
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sicker than he saw many other people. ²⁸ In saying cruel
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things to me my parents were only using me as a butt on
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which to take out their own frustrations. ²⁹
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Though the imputations of mental illness were what hurt me
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most, they comprised only a small part of the constant
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verbal bullying to which I was subjected day in and day out.
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My mother was continually shouting, scolding, insulting, and
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blaming me for everything that went wrong, regardless of
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whether I could have been responsible for it. During the
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summer before I entered Harvard, she made an appointment for
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me to see a professional photographer for a picture that the
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university wanted for its records. When the day of the
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appointment arrived, as it happened, I had a pimple on the
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end of my nose. My mother angrily scolded me for it. "Look
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at you! Now you've got a pimple on your nose! You're going
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to look terrible in your Harvard photo! ..." And on and
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on, as if it were my fault that I had a pimple.
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In another case my mother drove me and some other members of
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the high-school band to a music lesson. On the way back,
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the other boys, who were older than I was, talked a good
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deal about cars and driving. It made me feel small, since I
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was still too young to drive. After she dropped the other
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boys off, my mother began scolding me angrily: "Why don't
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you get a driver's license like the other kids so I won't
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have to be driving you all over the place all the time?" I
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quietly pointed out that I was only fifteen years old and
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couldn't get a license until I was sixteen. Instead of
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acknowledging that she was wrong and apologizing, my mother
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answered in an angry tone, "Well then, get a license as
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soon as you are sixteen! ... \[etc.\]"
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Once when I made a negative remark about someone's
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competence, my father answered in a cold and sneering tone,
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"You'll never be half as competent as he is." My father
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did not typically lose his temper openly. Yet he sometimes
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did so; in a few cases, he shouted at me, "I'll smash your
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face!" I didn't believe he would really smash my face, but
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still it was frightening to hear him say that.
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These are only a few examples of the kinds of things that
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went on constantly.
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Physical abuse was minimal, but there was a little of it. A
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couple of times my father threw me on the floor in the
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course of family squabbles. My mother occasionally would
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flail at me with her fists, but by that time I was old
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enough (and my mother was weak enough) so that she didn't
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hurt me.
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Contrary to what my mother and brother have told the media,
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up to the age of seventeen or so I was not socially
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isolated. Throughout my grade-school and high-school years
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I had several friends at all times. ³⁰ Though I was not
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accepted by most of the seventh-graders with whom I was put
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when I skipped a grade, I continued to associate with some
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of the friends and acquaintances I'd made in fifth grade.
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For example, Larry S. was a patrol-boy, and I used to stand
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on his corner with him during the lunch hour; and I
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continued to associate with Dale Eickelman ³¹ until I
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finished high school. Moreover, I soon began to make friends
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among the boys in my own grade; ³² but most of these friends
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had low status among the other boys, ³³ and some of them,
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like me, had a reputation as "brains" and for that reason
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were subjected to insults and indignities. On the other
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hand, one of my best friends had below-average intelligence.
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³⁴ Apart from those already mentioned, a list of my friends
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from seventh grade through high school would include Bob Pe.,
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³⁵ Tom Kn., ³⁶ Jerry U., ³⁷ and G.Da. ³⁷ I hung around with
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Russell Mosny ³⁵ quite a bit, but I never liked him much. We
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tended to be thrown together because we were in many of the
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same classes and were both "brains" who were treated with
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contempt by the "tough" kids. Both Mosny and G. Da.
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seemed to become cool toward me during my last year or so of
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high school, ³⁸ but at the same time I became closer to Bob
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Pe. and Tom Kn., and I made a new friend, Terry L. ³⁹
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Having these friends, however, by no means compensated me
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for the pain of the humiliatingly low status I had in
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school. I skipped my junior year in high school, ⁴⁰ and
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after that I was with kids who were two years older than I
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was. Most of these kids didn't insult me, but they treated
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me with condescension, ⁴¹ which was perhaps worse, and, with
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the exception of Terry L., none of them had any interest in
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making friends with me.
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Even though I had friends, I spent a good deal of time
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alone. By the time I was in high school, B.O. had moved away
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and four other boys in my age-group had moved into our
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block. One of these was simply a jerk. The other three, the
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Tr. boys, were jocks and belonged to the "set" in school
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by which I was intimidated; and moreover I had little in
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||
|
common with them. With the exception of Bob Pe., all of my
|
||
|
friends lived far enough away so that visiting was
|
||
|
inconvenient, and consequently we went to each other's
|
||
|
homes only occasionally. Our activities tended to consist of
|
||
|
aimless time-killing. We rarely engaged in athletics apart
|
||
|
from occasional games of catch, we never undertook any
|
||
|
significant joint projects, we never attended any social
|
||
|
functions together. As I've already noted, most of my
|
||
|
friends had low status, and, while I was in school with
|
||
|
them, none was very active socially and none had
|
||
|
girlfriends. If they ever dated, they never mentioned it to
|
||
|
me.
|
||
|
|
||
|
The only serious activity I had was trombone-playing; my
|
||
|
music lessons brought me into contact with one of the very
|
||
|
few adults I knew at the time whom I really respected, my
|
||
|
teacher, Jaroslav Cimera. Two of my friends, Tom Kn. and
|
||
|
Jerry U., also played the trombone, and I often played duets
|
||
|
with one or the other of them.
|
||
|
|
||
|
Still, until I went to Harvard, my adolescence tended to be
|
||
|
an alternation among different kinds of boredom: A boring
|
||
|
day in school, a boring visit with a friend, a few boring
|
||
|
hours piddling around in my attic room, another boring day
|
||
|
in school. This doesn't mean that I never had fun with my
|
||
|
friends or alone, but that boredom was a nagging problem for
|
||
|
me. ⁴²
|
||
|
|
||
|
\*\*\*\*\*\*
|
||
|
|
||
|
Now let's look at the way my brother and mother have
|
||
|
portrayed me and our family life during this period. First,
|
||
|
the entries in my medical records that are evidently based
|
||
|
on my mother's statements to the doctors ⁴³:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"April 24, 1952 ... Appetite, activity and general
|
||
|
adjustment are all quite good."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"April 17, 1953 ... He eats well, plays actively,
|
||
|
presents no behavior problems."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"April 27, 1954 ... Now in 7th Grade and does well. Does
|
||
|
well socially."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"April 14, 1955 ... Eighth grade. Good grades. Active in
|
||
|
some sports. No further \[?\] problem except for some
|
||
|
adolescent \[illegible\]"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"April 20, 1956 ... He does very well at school - not
|
||
|
too much of a socializer, but is known as a 'brain'.
|
||
|
Gets along well with others when he tries - seems popular
|
||
|
but a little aloof."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"June \[?\], 1957 ... Accelerated in high school and will
|
||
|
finish next spring by going to summer school. Has his eye on
|
||
|
Harvard and \[illegible\] in physics and math.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Health has been good but mother is concerned lest program
|
||
|
be too strenuous for him. Appetite good. Not very much
|
||
|
physical activity. No great interest in girls as yet."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"April 21, 1958 ... Ted has been well during the past
|
||
|
year. No problems. Is doing very well at school ... ."
|
||
|
|
||
|
The reason why my mother gave the doctors a rosy picture of
|
||
|
my adjustment (with barely a hint of social difficulties in
|
||
|
the April 20, 1956 entry) is that she has always been
|
||
|
extremely concerned with respectability ⁴⁴ and with
|
||
|
presenting to the world an attractive picture of our family,
|
||
|
and to this end she does not hesitate to lie.
|
||
|
|
||
|
In response to a request from Harvard, during the summer
|
||
|
before I entered college she wrote a long (two single-spaced
|
||
|
pages) letter in which she described my personality. In it
|
||
|
she gives a fairy-tale portrait of me as a budding
|
||
|
intellectual. For example, she speaks of my "serious
|
||
|
goals" and "ivory-towerish intellectuality," when in
|
||
|
reality I didn't have any clear goals at all and had little
|
||
|
respect for intellectualism. In fairness to my mother, I
|
||
|
should mention that in this letter she probably was not
|
||
|
lying calculatedly. She talked herself into believing all
|
||
|
that crap before she wrote it down and sent it to Harvard.
|
||
|
Her capacity for self-deception is remarkable. What is
|
||
|
significant for us here, though, is the way she described my
|
||
|
psychological and social adjustment:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Ted is strong, stable, and has an excellent capacity for
|
||
|
self-discipline. However, I feel that he may be lonlier
|
||
|
\[sic\] than most boys the first few months away from home.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"... Ted does not respond quickly to friendly overtures.
|
||
|
He is pleasant and polite, but reserved; and accepts only an
|
||
|
occasional individual as a friend. Once he does, however,
|
||
|
the relationship is permanent. All of his friends share at
|
||
|
least one of his strong interests. One of these friendships
|
||
|
is based on a mutual fondness for exploring the countryside
|
||
|
and searching for fossils, arrowheads, and unusual rocks.
|
||
|
... He meets with another couple of friends because of a
|
||
|
shared appreciation for listening to and making music... .
|
||
|
Ted is also very fond of another boy who shares with him a
|
||
|
love for intellectual sparring, witty exchange and endless
|
||
|
polemics. The written and verbal communication of satire
|
||
|
and analysis on innumerable subjects by these two boys would
|
||
|
fill a volume. \[My mother has surpassed herself here. The
|
||
|
two musical friends must have been Tom Kn. and Jerry U., but
|
||
|
I have no idea who the other two friends could have been.\]
|
||
|
|
||
|
"The fact that he takes so little initiative in finding
|
||
|
friends, that he accepts the advances of so few people, ⁴⁵
|
||
|
and makes no attempt to join social groups makes us worry
|
||
|
about the possibility of his being a pretty lonely boy (from
|
||
|
our point of view - he claims he never feels lonely
|
||
|
because there is so much to do.) ⁴⁶ ...
|
||
|
|
||
|
"\[Ted\] has, as his counselor and teachers have said 'a
|
||
|
delightful personality, very witty and very clever.' ...
|
||
|
|
||
|
"... \[Ted is\] working successfully as a busboy this
|
||
|
summer and being well-accepted by the other people working
|
||
|
there. ⁴⁷
|
||
|
|
||
|
"One of the things that Ted's counselor hoped he would
|
||
|
learn to do was bring 'his light out from under the gushel
|
||
|
\[sic; "bushel" is meant\]'. He has always functioned
|
||
|
naturally and creatively ... almost devoid of the desire
|
||
|
to impress or communicate. ...
|
||
|
|
||
|
Perhaps the poor quality of the school and neighborhood
|
||
|
enviornment \[sic\] of his first ten years had something to
|
||
|
do with this. Looking back, we realize how little
|
||
|
stimulation and understanding he found there. Our own
|
||
|
confusion, uncertainty, and worry about his ever-increasing
|
||
|
propensity for solitary play didn't help matters. The
|
||
|
high-school counselor feels that Ted should become
|
||
|
increasingly aware of the desireability \[sic\] of
|
||
|
projecting his 'brilliance and wit.' More often now, he
|
||
|
will be placed in situations in which a stranger may want to
|
||
|
assess his talents in half an hour's time. His whole future
|
||
|
may depend on his ability and awareness of the need to
|
||
|
project himself at will at a particular time." ⁴⁸
|
||
|
|
||
|
Contrast the foregoing with my mother's portrayal of me in
|
||
|
her interviews with the *Washington Post* ⁴⁹ and on *60
|
||
|
Minutes*, ⁵⁰ in which she depicted me as severely disturbed
|
||
|
and almost completely isolated socially. You can believe one
|
||
|
version or the other, if you like, but you can't believe
|
||
|
both, since they are clearly inconsistent. Thus my mother
|
||
|
is again shown to be a liar. For present purposes it is
|
||
|
beside the point whether she lies calculatedly or talks
|
||
|
herself into believing her own crap before she tells it to
|
||
|
others.
|
||
|
|
||
|
It is true, though, that my mother may not have realized the
|
||
|
full extent of the social difficulties that I encountered
|
||
|
from the time I skipped sixth grade. I said nothing to my
|
||
|
parents about those difficulties because in our family
|
||
|
talking about personal problems, particularly on the part of
|
||
|
my brother and me, was almost taboo. ⁵¹ This was especially
|
||
|
true in my case, because, ever since Miss Frye had told her
|
||
|
about my high IQ score, my mother expected me to be her
|
||
|
perfect little genius. If ever I revealed to her any
|
||
|
failure, any weakness, it disappointed her and consequently
|
||
|
her response was cold and critical. ⁵²
|
||
|
|
||
|
\*\*\*\*\*\*
|
||
|
|
||
|
According to the *New York Times*, my brother described our
|
||
|
father as "always generous." ⁵³ In his interview with the
|
||
|
*Sacramento Bee*, my brother asserted that both our parents
|
||
|
were "warm and nurturing." ⁵⁴ According to the transcript
|
||
|
of the *60 Minutes* interview of my brother and my mother,
|
||
|
Lesley Stahl stated:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Ted's fantasies, his family says, included accusations
|
||
|
that his parents had verbally abused and rejected him;
|
||
|
accusations that became more and more bizarre." ⁵⁵
|
||
|
|
||
|
Later in the interview, my brother said:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"\[Ted's\] feelings about our family bear no relationship
|
||
|
to the reality of the family life that we experienced. These
|
||
|
were loving, supportive parents." ⁵⁶
|
||
|
|
||
|
But here is what my brother told the FBI, according to the
|
||
|
latter's "302" reports of interviews with him:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"The relationship between TED Sr. \[Theodore R. Kaczynski,
|
||
|
my father\] and TED was mostly difficult and conflicted,
|
||
|
... DAVE remembers specifically that his father often told
|
||
|
TED, 'You're just like WALTER,' identifying WALTER as a
|
||
|
co-worker of his father's at the sausage factory who was
|
||
|
diagnosed schizophrenic. His father would often tell TED
|
||
|
'you have the mind of a two year-old.' DAVE remembered a
|
||
|
specific incident when TED ran to his father saying, 'Give
|
||
|
me a kiss,' and was rebuffed; TED Sr. pushed him away and
|
||
|
said, 'You're just like a little girl, always wanting to
|
||
|
kiss.' TED eventually 'got his kiss,' DAVE said, but he
|
||
|
never remembered that TED asked his father ever again for
|
||
|
affection. TED became increasingly reclusive, and quarrelled
|
||
|
constantly with his mother. TED Sr.'s behavior toward his
|
||
|
oldest son became increasingly cold and distant, and he
|
||
|
'mostly showed his disapproval' concerning TED." ⁵⁷
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Family members often ridiculed TED when they compared TED
|
||
|
with DAVE who was well liked because he had better social
|
||
|
skills." ⁵⁸ \[False; I was not "ridiculed" for this.\]
|
||
|
|
||
|
"DAVE noted that despite WANDA's concerns that certain
|
||
|
actions she and her husband took during TEDs childhood must
|
||
|
have been at least partly responsible for TED's lifelong
|
||
|
problems and isolation, WANDA is defensive of her own
|
||
|
actions in general, and sees herself as having unfairly
|
||
|
carried the main burdens of both her family of origin and
|
||
|
her own family. DAVE characterized his mother as 'often
|
||
|
difficult herself,' ..." ⁵⁹
|
||
|
|
||
|
Thus, my brother is clearly shown to be a liar. It's true
|
||
|
that the FBI's "302" reports often have inaccuracies, and
|
||
|
that the foregoing passages contain significant errors.
|
||
|
(Whether the errors originated with the FBI or with my
|
||
|
brother is an open question.) But it is hardly likely that
|
||
|
the FBI would just make all this up out of nothing; and, as
|
||
|
a matter of fact, much of it is corroborated by my
|
||
|
autobiographies and by family correspondence. ⁶⁰
|
||
|
|
||
|
In my 1979 autobiography, I wrote:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"One day, when I might have been about 6 years old, my
|
||
|
mother, father, and I were all set to go out somewhere. I
|
||
|
was in a joyful mood. I ran up to my father and announced
|
||
|
that I wanted to kiss him. He said, 'You're like a little
|
||
|
girl, always wanting to kiss.' I immediately turned cold
|
||
|
and drew back resentfully. My father immediately regretted
|
||
|
what he had done and said, 'Oh, that's alright. You can
|
||
|
kiss if you want to.' But there was no warmth in his voice.
|
||
|
Of course, I didn't kiss him then. ..." ⁶¹
|
||
|
|
||
|
This agrees fairly well with the account in the FBI report;
|
||
|
but notice that the incident occurred when I was about six
|
||
|
years old - before my brother's birth. Thus the FBI
|
||
|
report's implication that my brother personally witnessed
|
||
|
this incident is false. My 1979 autobiography continues:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"But the reader should be careful not to get an exaggerated
|
||
|
idea of the coldness that my father occasionally
|
||
|
exhibited - generally speaking I felt I had a good
|
||
|
relationship with my parents that didn't show any serious
|
||
|
deterioration until I was about 11 years old." ⁶²
|
||
|
|
||
|
My father did become rather cold toward me during my teens,
|
||
|
though my brother's account, as reported by the FBI,
|
||
|
somewhat overstates the case. I wrote in my 1979
|
||
|
autobiography, referring to my teen years:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"\[M\]y father tended to be cold. During my middle teens I
|
||
|
felt there was an undercurrent of scorn in his attitude
|
||
|
toward me." ⁶³
|
||
|
|
||
|
My brother and my mother state (more-or-less correctly)
|
||
|
that, during my adolescence, when visitors arrived at our
|
||
|
house, I would often retreat to my room. ⁶⁴ Thus they
|
||
|
unwittingly revealed information that helps to confirm the
|
||
|
abuse: According to investigators who have experience with
|
||
|
cases that involve child abuse, withdrawing from visitors is
|
||
|
a common reaction of abused children. ⁶⁵
|
||
|
|
||
|
## NOTES TO CHAPTER III
|
||
|
|
||
|
1. (Ab) Autobiog of TJK 1959, p. 3; (Ac) Autobiog of TJK
|
||
|
1979, p. 23; (Ga) Deeds #2, #3.
|
||
|
|
||
|
2. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 23.
|
||
|
|
||
|
3. Karl C. Garrison, *Psychology of Adolescence*, 6th
|
||
|
Edition, Prentice-Hall, pp. 199, 200.
|
||
|
|
||
|
4. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 23 states: "I had a few
|
||
|
friends in school, especially Larry S\_\_\_\_... ." Dale
|
||
|
Eickelman is discussed on pp. 50-52 of (Ac) Autobiog of
|
||
|
TJK 1979. In (Qb) Written Investigator Report #34, Eickelman
|
||
|
confirmed his friendship with me. None of the other
|
||
|
friendships is documented; for them I rely on memory.
|
||
|
|
||
|
5. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 47-50; (Ba) Journals of
|
||
|
TJK, Series VI #1, pp. 25-30 (October 1, 1974).
|
||
|
|
||
|
6. (Fa) School Records of TJK, E. P. Elementary; (Ab)
|
||
|
Autobiog of TJK 1959, p. 3; (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 24.
|
||
|
|
||
|
7. (Hb) *Washington Post*, June 16, 1996, p. A20.
|
||
|
Unfortunately, the results of the personality test are not
|
||
|
found in my surviving school records. That I did take such a
|
||
|
test is confirmed by (Aa) Autobiog of TJK 1958: "\[In fifth
|
||
|
grade\] I came to the attention of the curriculum and
|
||
|
guidance counselor... . I was taken out of class several
|
||
|
times that year to take a battery of tests, including I.Q.,
|
||
|
achievement, personality and aptitude tests."
|
||
|
|
||
|
8. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 24.
|
||
|
|
||
|
9. (Ae) Autobiog of Wanda (the entire document).
|
||
|
|
||
|
10. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 78, 79; (Da) Ralph
|
||
|
Meister's Declaration, p. 1, paragraph 5; p. 2, paragraphs
|
||
|
7, 8.
|
||
|
|
||
|
11. Regarding the last sentence of this paragraph, see (Ac)
|
||
|
Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 39; for all the rest of the
|
||
|
paragraph, see same document, p. 24.
|
||
|
|
||
|
12. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 24, 25; (Ca) FL #458,
|
||
|
letter from me to my mother, July 5, 1991, p. 10; (Cc) Notes
|
||
|
on Family Letters, Number 3 (written in 1991), p. 5.
|
||
|
|
||
|
13. (Cc) Notes on Family Letters, Number 3 (written in
|
||
|
1991), p. 5.
|
||
|
|
||
|
14. (Ca) FL #458, letter from me to my mother, July 5, 1991,
|
||
|
p. 10.
|
||
|
|
||
|
15. (Ca) FL#459, letter from my mother to me, July 12, 1991,
|
||
|
pp. 1, 2.
|
||
|
|
||
|
16. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 25: "\[M\]any of the
|
||
|
other boys drew warlike or gruesome pictures. Whether I drew
|
||
|
such pictures more frequently than the other boys is a point
|
||
|
on which my memory does not enlighten me."
|
||
|
|
||
|
17. (Ab) Autobiog of TJK 1959, pp. 3, 4; (Ac) Autobiog of
|
||
|
TJK 1979, pp. 25-29; (Ad) Autobiog of TJK 1988, pp. 2, 3;
|
||
|
(Ca) FL #458, letter from me to my mother, July 5, 1991, pp.
|
||
|
10-12. In (Ab) Autobiog of TJK 1959 I greatly understated
|
||
|
the humiliations to which I had been subjected in school
|
||
|
because I was profoundly ashamed of them.
|
||
|
|
||
|
The abuse I suffered in school was mostly psychological,
|
||
|
but there was a small amount of physical abuse. (Ac)
|
||
|
Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 28:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"\[A\] certain fellow verbally abused me, kicked my leg,
|
||
|
and kicked my briefcase - all for no apparent reason."
|
||
|
|
||
|
(Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 26:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"\[In gym class\] a large, heavy boy intentionally ran
|
||
|
into me during a game, knocked me down, and fell on me,
|
||
|
bruising my arm very painfully."
|
||
|
|
||
|
The injury was severe enough so that my parents took me
|
||
|
to the hospital and had my arm examined to make sure that it
|
||
|
wasn't broken. (Ea) Med Records of TJK, U. Chi., September
|
||
|
21, 1956, pp. 69-71. The "large, heavy boy" referred to was
|
||
|
Jack Mcl\_. When investigators working on my case tried to
|
||
|
track him down, they found that his last known address was a
|
||
|
transient hotel.
|
||
|
|
||
|
18. (Ab) Autobiog of TJK 1959, pp. 4, 14; (Ac) Autobiog of
|
||
|
TJK 1979, pp. 25, 52-55, 131; (Ad) Autobiog of TJK 1988,
|
||
|
pp. 2-4, 9, 11, 12; (Ca) FL #458, letter from me to my
|
||
|
mother, July 5, 1991, pp. 14, 15. Again, shame led me to
|
||
|
understate the case in (Ab) Autobiog of TJK 1959.
|
||
|
|
||
|
19. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #57, Michael Johnson.
|
||
|
|
||
|
20. Several former students at Evergreen Park Community High
|
||
|
School who were interviewed by investigators confirmed that
|
||
|
academically-oriented kids were harassed and insulted. These
|
||
|
included G. Da. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #28, pp.
|
||
|
1-3; Roger Podewell (Qb) Written Investigator Report #104,
|
||
|
pp. 1, 2; Wayne Tr. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #142,
|
||
|
p. 3. As I've indicated in the Introduction, information
|
||
|
reported to investigators about decades-old events has often
|
||
|
proved wildly inaccurate, especially when (as in this case)
|
||
|
there have been media reports that may have influenced it.
|
||
|
However, G. Da.'s reports of bitter personal experiences
|
||
|
should probably be given weight as showing the existence of
|
||
|
harassment, even though there is no way of knowing whether
|
||
|
the reports are accurate in detail.
|
||
|
|
||
|
21. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 40-42, 47; (Ca) FL #329,
|
||
|
letter from me to David Kaczynski, March 15, 1986, p. 2;
|
||
|
(Ad) Autobiog of TJK 1988, p. 3; (Ca) FL #458, letter from
|
||
|
me to my mother, July 5, 1991, pp. 5-8, 12; (Da) Ralph
|
||
|
Meister's Declaration, p. 3, paragraph 9. Further
|
||
|
documentation will be given in Chapter IV.
|
||
|
|
||
|
22. During October or November of 1996, Investigator #3 told
|
||
|
me that Dr. K. had told him that my brother had told her
|
||
|
that my mother would have outbursts of rage during which her
|
||
|
face would become red and contorted and she would make angry
|
||
|
gestures that frightened my brother. It is true that my
|
||
|
mother did have such outbursts, but I am relying on memory
|
||
|
for the fact that Investigator #3 made this statement to me,
|
||
|
since I did not write it down at the time.
|
||
|
|
||
|
On August 14, 1997, I asked Dr. K. to confirm this, and
|
||
|
what she gave me then was a weaker version: "K asked, what
|
||
|
did you see when \[your mother\] was angry? \[Dave\] said:
|
||
|
Change of color in her face, her speech became quicker, she
|
||
|
might make sudden movements. K asked what he meant. He said
|
||
|
she would shake her hands and stomp her foot. As a child he
|
||
|
felt that it felt close to feeling what violence would feel
|
||
|
like - it was threatening." (Ra) Oral Report from Dr. K.,
|
||
|
August 14, 1997.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I had the distinct impression from Dr. K. that "it felt
|
||
|
close to feeling what violence would feel like" was a
|
||
|
verbatim quote of my brother's words, and I clearly remember
|
||
|
that I asked her to repeat the sentence so that I could be
|
||
|
sure that I had it written down correctly. Nevertheless,
|
||
|
when I asked her for confirmation of this report on February
|
||
|
12, 1998, she gave me the following version, which seems
|
||
|
somewhat weaker: "Dr. K asked how did he know my mother was
|
||
|
angry. When she was very angry you could tell because her
|
||
|
color would change, speech would get quicker, would make
|
||
|
sudden movements, that one could imagine would be closer to
|
||
|
violence. Dr. K asked him what he meant. He said like shake
|
||
|
her hands and stomp her foot." (Ra) Oral Report from Dr. K.,
|
||
|
February 12, 1998.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I asked Dr. K. about the words, "it felt close to
|
||
|
feeling what violence would feel like," and she said she
|
||
|
couldn't find them in her notes. If Dr. K. is asked about
|
||
|
this matter again, I have no idea what she will say.
|
||
|
|
||
|
In any case, I know from my own memories that my mother
|
||
|
did have outbursts of rage as I've described.
|
||
|
|
||
|
23. (Ra) Oral Report from Dr. K., July 24, 1997: "Wanda
|
||
|
... Spoke of Ted R. withdrawing behind the newspaper. He
|
||
|
didn't like conflict, would withdraw from it and pick up
|
||
|
the paper." This is what Dr. K. told me, but, as I've
|
||
|
noted elsewhere, she sometimes changes her story or claims
|
||
|
she can't remember something she told me, so I do not know
|
||
|
whether she will confirm this information if she is asked.
|
||
|
|
||
|
24. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 40, 41.
|
||
|
|
||
|
25. Same, p. 42.
|
||
|
|
||
|
26. Same, p. 41.
|
||
|
|
||
|
27. This is confirmed in the interview with my mother in
|
||
|
(Hb) *Washington Post*, June 16, 1996, p. A20.
|
||
|
|
||
|
28. From (Ca) FL #330, letter from David Kaczynski to me,
|
||
|
late March or early April, 1986, p. 22:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I never, ever recall the parents berating you to me. In
|
||
|
fact, they always encouraged me to look up to you."
|
||
|
|
||
|
My parents would hardly have encouraged my brother to
|
||
|
look up to me if they had thought I was the kind of sicko
|
||
|
that the media have portrayed with my mother's and brother's
|
||
|
encouragement.
|
||
|
|
||
|
29. (Ca) FL #458, letter from me to my mother, July 5, 1991,
|
||
|
pp. 3, 6.
|
||
|
|
||
|
30. (Ad) Autobiog of TJK 1988, p. 12. In (Ab) Autobiog of
|
||
|
TJK 1959, p. 11, I wrote: "My friendships are usually of
|
||
|
long duration. Fairly close, but never really intimate." I
|
||
|
was not aware of *any* really intimate friendships among the
|
||
|
boys in high school. The reader who thinks that there should
|
||
|
have been such friendships should bear in mind that the
|
||
|
teenage culture of Evergreen Park in 1955-58 may have been
|
||
|
quite different from what he is familiar with. Boys simply
|
||
|
did not bare their souls to one another.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I went to Harvard at the age of sixteen and made no
|
||
|
close or lasting friendships there. However, during the
|
||
|
summer following my freshman year at Harvard I continued to
|
||
|
associate with some of my high-school friends ((Ac) Autobiog
|
||
|
of TJK 1979, p. 94; (Ab) Autobiog of TJK 1959, pp. 10, 11;
|
||
|
here, the "rather dull fellow" is Jerry U., the "large fat
|
||
|
fellow" is Russell Mosny, and the "very tall lank fellow" is
|
||
|
Bob Pe.). Consequently I date my social isolation from age
|
||
|
seventeen rather than sixteen.
|
||
|
|
||
|
By the way, there is an error on p. 94 of (Ac) Autobiog
|
||
|
of TJK 1979. I wrote: "I think I became pretty well
|
||
|
separated from all my Evergreen Park friends within about a
|
||
|
year after leaving college." instead of "college", I should
|
||
|
have written "high school". I meant that I became separated
|
||
|
from these friends after the summer following my first year
|
||
|
at college. Actually, my memory of the chronology is rather
|
||
|
fuzzy here. It's possible that I may have continued to
|
||
|
associate with some of my high-school friends even during
|
||
|
the summer following my *second* year at college. In (Ac)
|
||
|
Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 94, 95, I may have inadvertently
|
||
|
telescoped the events of two summers into one.
|
||
|
|
||
|
31. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 50-54; (Qb) Written
|
||
|
Investigator Report #34, Dale Eickelman.
|
||
|
|
||
|
32. (Ab) Autobiog of TJK 1959, p. 3, referring to seventh
|
||
|
grade: "I did make a couple of good friends among the
|
||
|
better students... ."
|
||
|
|
||
|
33. (Ad) Autobiog of TJK 1988, p. 12.
|
||
|
|
||
|
34. (Ab) Autobiog of TJK 1959, p. 10: "One of my oldest
|
||
|
friends is a rather dull fellow, average intelligence...
|
||
|
." This was Jerry U. I was probably giving him a little
|
||
|
too much credit in describing his intelligence as average.
|
||
|
|
||
|
35. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 30, 94-95. Bob Pe. is the
|
||
|
"very tall lank fellow" described as one of my best friends
|
||
|
in (Ab) Autobiog of TJK 1959, p. 11. Bob Pe. confirmed his
|
||
|
friendship with me in (Qb) Written Investigator Report #100.
|
||
|
|
||
|
36. Ruth Kn., Tom's mother, has confirmed that he and I were
|
||
|
friends. (Qb) Written Investigator Report #64, p. 1. I
|
||
|
mention this report for whatever it may be worth, but some
|
||
|
of the other information given by Mrs. Kn. is incorrect.
|
||
|
|
||
|
37. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 94.
|
||
|
|
||
|
38. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 25, 94, 119-121. Mosny is
|
||
|
the "large, fat fellow" referred to in (Ab) Autobiog of
|
||
|
TJK 1959, pp. 10, 11.
|
||
|
|
||
|
39. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 29, 94.
|
||
|
|
||
|
40. (Fb) School Records of TJK, E.P. High School; (Fc)
|
||
|
School Records of TJK, Harvard, pp. 12, 14; (Ac) Autobiog of
|
||
|
TJK 1979, p. 28; (Ab) Autobiog of TJK 1959, p. 4; (Aa)
|
||
|
Autobiog of TJK 1958, p. 2.
|
||
|
|
||
|
41. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 28.
|
||
|
|
||
|
42. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 46, 47 has: "Throughout
|
||
|
my earlier teens I suffered increasingly from chronic
|
||
|
boredom... . Often I would visit a friend's home, or a
|
||
|
friend would visit my home. But if these visits lasted any
|
||
|
length of time, I would usually get bored... . Best, I
|
||
|
liked physical games such as playing catch; but...
|
||
|
outside of gym classes, I never had a chance to participate
|
||
|
in complicated games like softball and football, which I
|
||
|
suppose would have held my interest better. Because there
|
||
|
were never enough guys available for a regular game, we had
|
||
|
to play very simple games like catch."
|
||
|
|
||
|
43. (Ea) Med Records of TJK, U. Chi., April 24, 1952, p. 53;
|
||
|
April 17, 1953, p. 57; April 27, 1954, p. 58; April 14,
|
||
|
1955, p. 59; April 20, 1956, p. 67; June, 1957, p. 73; April
|
||
|
21, 1958, p. 74.
|
||
|
|
||
|
44. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 79: "Respectability is
|
||
|
important to her."
|
||
|
|
||
|
45. I can think of few instances (prior to the time when my
|
||
|
mother wrote this letter) in which I intentionally rejected
|
||
|
friendly advances. No doubt I often seemed cool toward
|
||
|
people; this was because my experiences in school had
|
||
|
conditioned me to be afraid of social situations and of the
|
||
|
possibility of rejection. Moreover, one of the symptoms of
|
||
|
abuse is social withdrawal.
|
||
|
|
||
|
From (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 28, 29:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"As a result of \[the rejection I'd experienced\] I
|
||
|
think I developed a kind of stoical coldness. (Not daring to
|
||
|
fight back, and not wishing to show weakness, my only choice
|
||
|
in the face of hostility was to be cold and stoical.) The
|
||
|
cold impression was often accentuated by shyness, and I
|
||
|
suspect that my apparent cold aloofness may have alienated
|
||
|
some kids who might otherwise have been friendly."
|
||
|
|
||
|
46. Actually I suffered from chronic boredom. See Note 42.
|
||
|
|
||
|
47. The truth: "\[M\]y parents put pressure on me to earn
|
||
|
money to help pay for my education... . I was supposed to be
|
||
|
not only brilliant, but industrious... .
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I felt very shy and uncomfortable among the people on
|
||
|
these jobs. When asked about my personal background I should
|
||
|
have lied. The first job I had the first summer was as a
|
||
|
busboy in a restaurant. One waitress there gave me a hard
|
||
|
time, being evidently jealous of my education; she would
|
||
|
bitterly make remarks like: 'We don't need brains around
|
||
|
here - we need a strong back.'" - (Ac) Autobiog of TJK
|
||
|
1979, p. 95.
|
||
|
|
||
|
48. (Fc) School Records of TJK, Harvard, pp. 18, 19; letter
|
||
|
from Wanda Kaczynski to Skiddy Von Stade (Harvard Dean of
|
||
|
Freshmen), July 16, 1958. I had already been admitted to
|
||
|
Harvard, so there was no need for my mother to fib in order
|
||
|
to secure my admission.
|
||
|
|
||
|
49. (Hb) *Washington Post*, June 16, 1996.
|
||
|
|
||
|
50. (He) *60 Minutes*, September 15, 1996.
|
||
|
|
||
|
51. My brother told Dr. K. that there was no "permission"
|
||
|
to talk with parents about internal struggles. (Ra) Oral
|
||
|
Reports from Dr. K., July 24, 1997 and February 12, 1998. As
|
||
|
noted elsewhere, oral reports I've received have not proved
|
||
|
reliable; but see Note 52.
|
||
|
|
||
|
52. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 115; (Ca) FL #458, letter
|
||
|
from me to my mother, July 5, 1991, pp. 6, 7. (Da) Ralph
|
||
|
Meister's Declaration, p. 3, paragraph 10 has: "Teddy John
|
||
|
was... afraid to tell Wanda about emotional problems or
|
||
|
difficulties he encountered with his peer group because that
|
||
|
would have caused a rent in the picture she had of her
|
||
|
son."
|
||
|
|
||
|
53. (Ha) *NY Times Nat.*, May 26, 1996, p. 22, column 1.
|
||
|
|
||
|
54. (Hc) *Sacramento Bee*, January 19, 1997, p. A16,
|
||
|
column 1.
|
||
|
|
||
|
55. (He) *60 Minutes*, September 15, 1996, Part One, p. 8.
|
||
|
|
||
|
56. Same, Part Two, p. 3.
|
||
|
|
||
|
57. (Na) FBI 302 number 2, pp. 6, 7.
|
||
|
|
||
|
58. (Na) FBI 302 number 1, p. 3.
|
||
|
|
||
|
59. (Na) FBI 302 number 3, p. 5.
|
||
|
|
||
|
60. See Note 21 above. But contrary to what the FBI says my
|
||
|
brother told them, I was compared to Walter T. only twice,
|
||
|
and in at least one of those cases it was my mother who made
|
||
|
the comparison.
|
||
|
|
||
|
61. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 18. The story is also told
|
||
|
in (Ca) FL #339, letter from me to David Kaczynski, Summer,
|
||
|
1986, p. 4. My brother probably got the story from this
|
||
|
letter and at some subsequent time began to imagine that he
|
||
|
had witnessed the incident himself.
|
||
|
|
||
|
62. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, pp. 18, 19.
|
||
|
|
||
|
63. (Ac) Autobiog of TJK 1979, p. 41. (Ca) FL #407, letter
|
||
|
from me to David Kaczynski, October 13, 1990, p. I has: ".
|
||
|
.. during my teens, but, while Dad was always rather cold
|
||
|
to me during that period ... ." Also see (Ca) FL #408,
|
||
|
letter from me to my mother, October 13, 1990 (copy kept in
|
||
|
cabin).
|
||
|
|
||
|
64. (He) *60 Minutes*, September 15, 1996, Part One, p. 3:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"WANDA KACZYNSKI: ... if \[Ted\] heard cars driving up,
|
||
|
he'd say 'ooh, there's so-and-so.' He says, 'don't call me
|
||
|
down. I - I don't want to see them. I don't want to see
|
||
|
them.' He'd go upstairs."
|
||
|
|
||
|
The foregoing is not strictly accurate, but it is true
|
||
|
that I often avoided visitors by going to my attic room. See
|
||
|
also (Hb) *Washington Post*, June 16, 1996, p. A20, middle
|
||
|
of last column on the page. And see (Na) FBI 302 number 1,
|
||
|
p. 3: "DAVE noted that TED would often retreat to the attic
|
||
|
whenever anyone came to the house to visit."
|
||
|
|
||
|
65. (Qc) Written Reports by Investigator #2, p. 2:
|
||
|
"Withdrawal is a common reaction for abused children and
|
||
|
includes withdrawing from visitors."
|